One way friendships

Anyone else ever feel like this? You put in so much love and loyalty to someone and they just don't care/get bored/pick you up when they want you and not when you need them. Just had to get that off my chest :redface:

just fed up of it tbh, it happens all the time and honestly feel like giving up on getting close to people. Just get walked all over all the time.

Reply 1

Binary Freak

I've always had this problem in the past. I'm pretty sure everyone is fed up of it.

Pretty much the reason why I've only got like 4 people at this current time I consider a friend.

Original post by Anonymous

just fed up of it tbh, it happens all the time and honestly feel like giving up on getting close to people. Just get walked all over all the time.

I wouldn't do that. Just be very selective about who you let in.

Reply 2

DanteTheDoorKnob

Not everyone can afford a return ticket

Reply 3

melinae

I know exactly what you mean. I have three people who I know are friends and that they return the effort. But most people I'll message them and I get "seen" and nothing back or I get an answer that I can't really reply to and then they don't ever really bother talking to me until I talk to them. I either consider it as people not worth bothering with or they're just busy and I'm over thinking things. But usually I just give up and put my effort into other things.

Reply 4

frozen_fire

Original post by melinae

It's incredibly frustrating, particularly when you put so much effort into people you really click with. I have this situation with a guy who went to the same uni as me. I have tried so hard to maintain the friendship when we left but it's always me who is messaging first etc. Until recently, we went nearly a whole year without meeting up but nothing's changed since then and it's got to the point where I'm ready to let the friendship go.

Friendship is a two way street and similar to relationships it requires a fair amount of investment from both parties. There are loads of people out there- you just need to find the good ones :smile:

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Reply 5

Moonstruck16

I have plenty of friends who are like this and a few who aren't. Tbh, these are the people who I'll never speak to again after uni so I don't mind it. We'll have some good times until we graduate then I can move on with my long term friends.

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Reply 6

melinae

Original post by frozen_fire

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Yeah I hear you. It's just frustrating because I don't know if I've done something wrong, I'm boring or they're just lazy or busy. But yeah there'll be other people out there. :smile:

Reply 7

1401985

Original post by melinae

I feel you. You just have to put in effort with people who actually care about you. Like the saying goes, if you give me 100, I'll give you 100. If you give me 50, you get none of meeeee. Don't know why I just sang that but yeah. You'll be much happier that way and yes it sucks but that's life.

Reply 8

username1623349

Those sorts of people aren't worth the effort. You deserve someone who cares as much about you as you do about them, and those people are out there! Feel free to PM me if you'd like, because I promise I'll put in the effort :h:

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Binary Freak

I've always had this problem in the past. I'm pretty sure everyone is fed up of it.

Pretty much the reason why I've only got like 4 people at this current time I consider a friend.

I wouldn't do that. Just be very selective about who you let in.

Yeah i think in this case less is more so to speak, but then again i tried that before, had a couple of really close friends. Then they all stabbed me in the back and i found out how horrible they were so now i don't tend to make close friends and just sort of am amicable to everyone and talk to people but never really say anything if that makes sense.

Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob

Not everyone can afford a return ticket

I tried. I really did but i still don't get what this means.. :erm:

Original post by melinae

Yes, exactly that. thank you :smile:

i do have a few closer friends inrl but im starting to have doubts with them as well, like i've noticed things that hint that they don't really want me to succeed or have my best intentions at heart.. :s-smilie:

And i get you about the over thinking thing, it is a vicious circle really because due to all the friends i've managed to lose in the past i just assume i've done something wrong and then because i think something is going to go wrong when things are going well it usually ends up happening because of the paranoia and then the cycle just continues. And yeah tbh i cba with it anymore and got other things to focus on x

Original post by melinae

Yeah I hear you. It's just frustrating because I don't know if I've done something wrong, I'm boring or they're just lazy or busy. But yeah there'll be other people out there. :smile:

Yes. this exactly, you are so relateable tbh :redface:

i mean in term of messaging and stuff i get totally totally that people have very busy lives but idk they could just say 'im busy' or something just so you know you haven't done anything wrong :redface:

Original post by MissOvoxo

See that's the thing. Idk who actually cares about me, going out on a limb here but i suspect not many but i don't know the people that actually do because just when i think someone does they do things like give me jealous looks (not about my looks or anything just over work and stuff) and well idk it is just tiring trying to work out who is genuine.

Original post by georgiaswift

Well i wish i would hurry up and find them :redface:

and ik you would lovely :hugs:

you are awesome x

Reply 10

Binary Freak

Original post by Anonymous

The joys of having close friends.. :colonhash:

I've literally got like.. 1 friend IRL due to this exact reason of back stabbing, and the normal acquaintance treaty crap.

Yeah it makes perfect sense as I literally just left that phase a few weeks ago. I dare say I'll be reverting back to it eventually.

Good luck meeting some good peeps though.. Eventually.