Housemates being unreasonable or is it just me?

Im in my third year and live with freshers which was fine at first but then they started ignoring me. I moved in after everybody else and am out a lot with friends outside the house and i think they take it personal. They leave notes to me complaining about everything i do like making a mess or making noise at 2am, but the only mess i make is leaving a few dishes next to the sink for 2 days max and the only noise i make is opening drawers which cant be helped especially as i get in so late. I'm out about 14 hours a day writing my dissertation which is stressful enough and i don't have time to wash up every day and shouldn't have to clean up after everybody else (they're the ones making most mess). Im sick of coming home to my clean dishes put in the sink because i 'didnt dry them quick enough' or being told i cant shower between 11pm-9am (even though thats the only time i have) and seeing threatening aggressive notes everywhere. I dont listen to them obviously but it is annoying...

I was wondering if anyone thinks this is unfair, or is it my fault? I cant tell if im being unreasonable by not cleaning the kitchen as they get mad at me most for that but frankly its not even bad and i think people should clean up after themselves not others.

P.S The last note they left says they are going to put dirty dishes on my bed (we dont have locks on our doors) and since i move out next week i might as well retaliate for once if they do it, any ideas? My friends say i should sh*t in their pillowcases haha

Reply 1

Hgy1997

2 days max?! It takes less than a minute to clean dishes so dont use the excuse you havent got time

Reply 2

Blondie987

It sounds like you're all in the wrong tbh, some of the stuff you're doing does sound a bit unreasonable, leaving dishes for two days means less space for everyone else, I'm sure you can find 10 minutes to clean them, as for showering, it might seem petty but I don't think I'd be too pleased if I were in that situation either if you're randomly coming in at all hours and making loads of noise while they're trying to sleep. In your defence, I do think the notes are ineffective and passive aggressive as well as the 'threats' but you're moving out next week, let it slide and don't do anything you'd regret for something so minor.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by howardyeates

2 days max?! It takes less than a minute to clean dishes so dont use the excuse you havent got time

But if i wash up at 2am wont that make more noise anyway? Thats the maximum, its usually every time i cook so every night. Im just saying 2 days is the worst its ever been when i haev deadlines or haven't been home

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Blondie987

as for showering, my bedroom is the only one on the same floor as the bathrooms, and i cant judt not shower, surely they could just get earplugs? Its not like im playing music full blast or something

Reply 5

greenmonster

I'd say no showering between midnight and 7am is more reasonable. I don't see why anyone would have a problem with someone having a shower outside those times.
I agree with your housemates on the dishes though. If you don't have time to wash them up, keep them in your room until you do. Also, unless you have a job that requires you to be at work until 2am I can see why they take issue with you always coming in and cooking your food then. That's not the only time you have to do it that's the time you're choosing to do it and making out like you have no choice there would definitely annoy me.
If you had more time in your house id suggest trying to have a whole talk with your housemates but with only a week left I don't know how much you'll actually benefit from it.
I'd pretty much ignore the notes though, its such a childish, lazy, passive aggressive way to try and solve problems with housemates. Its really not hard just to talk to people when you see them...

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by kitkatbitesize

Im not choosing to do it that late, thats the time i get in, i have my courseowrk, volunteering in a shop, a placement and training for my sport. Its not an excuse i dont like getting in late

Reply 7

Joinedup

Had to share a house with some noisy bastards...

TBH you can use a drawer quietly or you can use a drawer noisily, you have a choice about how you do it - if you choose to use a drawer noisily at 2 AM you're being inconsiderate.
never heard of anyone getting criticized for using a drawer quietly... because you'd have to strain to even hear it in another room. same for doors, stairs, cupboards kitchen utensils etc.

Reply 8

adam_khxn

Defo sh*t in their beds

Reply 9

greenmonster

Original post by Anonymous

Im not choosing to do it that late, thats the time i get in, i have my courseowrk, volunteering in a shop, a placement and training for my sport. Its not an excuse i dont like getting in late

Ok, thats why I said unless you have a job. In your original post you only said you were out 14 hours a day doing your dissertation which sounds pretty excessive!
It might be worth looking into your time management to see if there's a way to make things a little easier on yourself? At least for me, I work 2 jobs and tend to get in at about 3am most nights so I either get food while I'm out or pre-make it so all I have to do is grab it from the fridge, no effort required!

Reply 10

username1799249

Original post by Anonymous

as for showering, my bedroom is the only one on the same floor as the bathrooms, and i cant judt not shower, surely they could just get earplugs? Its not like im playing music full blast or something

Why don't you just wash up after you have eaten? Is it really that hard? And 2am is no time to be doing anything. I suggest you reschedule your day.

Reply 11

Tiger Rag

TBF, showering can be quite loud depending where on the floor you sleep. When I used to live at home, I was told that I had to wait until dad got up (he worked nights) apart from Saturday, when I had to only wait until 11am and mum wasn't bothered.

You, as mentioned, do need to sort out your time better. A lot of students (me included when I was studying) do tend to cook meals at the weekend to have during the week.

Reply 12

doodle_333

I had a flatmate who used to cook dinner between 1am and 3am every night. She made more noise than I thought was possible, I'm sure you could make a sandwich or something between those hours but if you're cooking a full on meal with various pans and stuff then you should stop. Same on the shower thing, surely you can have a shower before you go out in the morning which will be a more reasonable time?

Leaving pots 2 days is probably reason to complain, as is refusing to ever help clean the kitchen.

Look at it this way, doing one of those things might have left them silently frustrated but it's building up because you're repeatedly doing different things to annoy them.

Just do your washing up for a few weeks and don't wake them up. You should really be more mature than 'retaliating' because someone is annoyed you are dirty and keep waking them up.