Would you break off a relationship that lasted nearly 3 years.

So you obviously loved the person enough to stay with them. But you dont see it going anywhere soon. You have totally different interests and life goals even tho you have some other stuff in common.

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Reply 1

lucy_98

I did in December. I loved that boy, so, so much. But we were different people by the time three years had passed. We'd grown up together but our interests had changed. We had different ideas of the future and some of his thoughts I just couldn't understand. If you don't want the same things, I think it's a perfectly logical thing to do.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by lucy_98

Were you the one to break up?Was it mutual? I don't want to compromise all the time. He hates travelling and I'd want to travel the world. I don't want to force him to go, and being apart while still together isnt what I want. I'd want someone to enjoy traveling with, enjoy new experiences. Not someone to hold me back. We have different aspirations and life goals. He rathers to put money into his business to make more while I rather spend it and enjoy the little things. He's a really sweet and caring guy who loves me a lot so I feel terrible about this :/

Reply 3

Alice__90

I married very young (21). We were together for 5 years and we seperated after realising we wanted different things. I'm 25 now and I'm just beginning to discover and learn about myself.

You can love someone but ultimately if it's not right it's not right. I made the mistake of continuing a relationship to the point of marriage because I was too "comfortable" and afraid of letting others down. Unfortunately I let myself down in the process.

Reply 4

lucy_98

Original post by Anonymous

It's weird because that's almost the exact situation I was in. I broke it off because I wanted to travel, explore, visit cute places to eat, drink coffee at random little bistros and live. He wanted stability, he didn't want to travel because he saw it as a waste of his time. At the end of the day, you only have one life. Not living it how you want to will make things bitter and you'll become resentful anyway.

Reply 5

insert-username

I broke off a 4 year relationship back in december for similar reasons among many other things.

You've already said it's going nowhere, your life plans aren't compatible- neither of you are willing to bend for the other. Why waste more time dragging along a futile relationship? You'll only make an inevitable break up harder in the future by adding more years.

It doesn't mean your time together wasn't worthwhile, and it doesn't diminish the value of the relationship you had. Stop wasting each other's time and let it go.

Reply 6

Blondie987

If I wasn't happy, what would be the point in staying in the relationship? Surely the whole point of being with someone is that you want to be with them, not because you feel obligated.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Alice__90

Thank you for the advice. :smile:

I'm afraid I'm staying with him because It feels like a safe option. But I also don't want to wake up one day all alone and feel like I messed up my chance with a really great guy either.

Reply 8

DanielleT192

Yeah I totally agree with the rest of the replies.

Breaking up with someone is perfectly acceptable and as long as you've got a good reason to then I see no problem. Especially in the example of having different dreams and goals - that's what happened with me and my ex; part of the reason I split up with my ex as well.

Keeping a hold of a relationship based on the years you've been with them is a silly way of thinking of it. It can essentially make it more difficult for you to break up with them with that mindset, when your heart isn't in it any more.

Reply 9

username2387497

If you dont like them then dont stay with them!
Relationships are about loving each other, not for one person to be happy whilst the other isnt!
Youre gonna have to end it if youre not happy!

Reply 10

EllainKahlo

Yes I would. A relationship doesn't deserve to be preserved just because it has lasted 3 years, or two months, or two decades. Who cares? If it needs to end, it needs to end. Don't hang onto something just because it lasted a while.

Reply 11

Alice__90

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you for the advice. :smile:

I'm afraid I'm staying with him because It feels like a safe option. But I also don't want to wake up one day all alone and feel like I messed up my chance with a really great guy either.

Honestly I was the same. I had my son when I was 22 and I stayed at home following my husband's career around the country. I wasted a few good years of my life not doing what I wanted. Leaving that relationship was the scariest thing I've ever done. That was 2 years ago. I now have my own place, I'm a single parent, I have a job I love, my own interests, I'm going to university in September. I'm the happiest I've ever been. Sometimes the thought of ending up alone is scary but believe me the thought of living a life feeling unfulfilled is a million times scarier!

Take some time to think. You'll know in your heart what the right thing for you is. :smile:

Reply 12

~Tara~

If there is no compromise, I would leave. I like to travel and travel alone. I couldn't be with someone who didn't allow that. It's important for me that we have our own interests and ambitions

Reply 13

DanteTheDoorKnob

Tell, discuss, compromise, end

Some issues are not serious others are.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob

Tell, discuss, compromise, end

Some issues are not serious others are.

The problem is I can't discuss and compromise. I tried. Anything ends with "so do you want to break up?" I just feel guilty and nothing is resolved. He doesnt seem to want to talk about the future in a mature way and just gets upset whenever I try to talk to him about issues.

Reply 15

username47781

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you for the advice. :smile:

I'm afraid I'm staying with him because It feels like a safe option. But I also don't want to wake up one day all alone and feel like I messed up my chance with a really great guy either.

There is no point staying with someone just for the sake of being with someone. If you are not happy then don't let it drag on.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Original post by Rock Fan

There is no point staying with someone just for the sake of being with someone. If you are not happy then don't let it drag on.

But that isnt the only reason I'm staying with him :/

Reply 17

TercioOfParma

If there was no reason to I wouldn't. I mean, I wouldn't be in a relationship with somebody who desired radically different things anyway, It would make them fundamentally incompatible.