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Moving away for a grad job

Hi guys

I've been looking at graduate schemes for when I finish uni next year. Most of them are around 1-2 hours away to get something decent.

I've never moved out of home, so this scares the crap out of me. I feel like I need to do it to get some more independence, as I didn't go away for Uni either. Have you ever moved for a job? What advice would you give?

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You are going to have to leave home at some point. It isn't the end of the world though. When you first start, you might consider staying in a cheap B+B for the first week or so, in order to get a lay of the land. After that, you can either start looking around for a room https://www.spareroom.co.uk/, a house share or a flat of your own.

Good luck!
Reply 2
Avatar for TommA
TommA
1
Hi Nyancats

I think from others, trying to explain what this is like is quite difficult because it's so different for everybody. What I think would be good is to say to yourself: "What is it that is actually scaring me about leaving?" Find the things that are scaring you and try to answer them, contest them as to justify your moving away. Knowing that you're making the right choice by moving away makes things more comfortable.

When i moved into my first home i remember being on the bus and thinking "If i don't pay the bills i'm going to be kicked out of my house and be made homeless" and just panicked about money for two weeks, making sure i had enough to save. That's what i felt it came down to; organising yourself in terms of finance and workload, and seeing what social activities you can do outside of that. After a while it just became normal, as long as you had enough money for bills you can do whatever you like. That was a nice feeling.

I also came to understand that one hour isn't really that far away when you have computers and phones to contact everyone at any time of the day, so it made the distance much shorter, and i don't think my parents have ever stopped worrying about me ever since i left!

So many people experience this kind of fear, and it's just something that seems to work itself out in the end. I won't say don't worry, because worrying means you are conscious of the necessities of independent living, just go for it and fumble your way through like pretty much everyone else has.

And if not, how long are you going to live at home for? Forever? Hehe
Start acknowledging that you're an adult now. The confidence that comes from standing on your own two feet will reverberate positively across other aspects of your life.
Reply 4
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nyancats
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Original post by TommA
Hi Nyancats

So many people experience this kind of fear, and it's just something that seems to work itself out in the end. I won't say don't worry, because worrying means you are conscious of the necessities of independent living, just go for it and fumble your way through like pretty much everyone else has.


I am so close to my family so that really scares me the thought of a) not having them around and b) not knowing anyone in a new city

Plus I am an only child
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by nyancats
I am so close to my family so that really scares me the thought of a) not having them around and b) not knowing anyone in a new city
Plus I am an only child


So you're not about to head off for a solo Gap year then, I take it? I think your family have done you a disservice, by failing to instil or nurture your independence by this stage. A good place to start would be to regard yourself as an adult without siblings, rather than an only child.
You'd need to get an offer first.
Reply 7
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nyancats
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Original post by DrSocSciences
So you're not about to head off for a solo Gap year then, I take it? I think your family have done you a disservice, by failing to instil or nurture your independence by this stage. A good place to start would be to regard yourself as an adult without siblings, rather than an only child.


I think you're just being rude here. My parent's haven't done me any sort of disservice or failed me - i'm independent at home just looking on advice to moving to a big new city. And please stop highlighting child - it's a common term that I used - it doesn't mean I think i'm still a child.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 8
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nyancats
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Original post by Spiritually
You'd need to get an offer first.


Well yeah I know that... How soon in advance do you apply for grad jobs?
Original post by nyancats
Well yeah I know that... How soon in advance do you apply for grad jobs?


Schemes usually start their processes during the Aug - Oct period the year before you start.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by nyancats
I think that's a bit rude


I don't wish to offend you, but it's a fair assessment in my view. You sound over-protected, and in your own terms, inadequately prepared for the next important stage of your life.

My advice would be: go and do something new and unfamiliar, for a few days, that you plan independently, and which takes you completely out of your comfort zone. Dealing with setbacks and unforeseen complications is an essential life skill. Learn to cope with stuff, in the absence of your family.

I went to South America alone when I was 17, (without a mobile phone), and came back feeling as though I could handle anything. I'm not suggesting you do that, just push yourself a bit, and you'll be amazed how much resilience that brings.
Original post by nyancats
I am so close to my family so that really scares me the thought of a) not having them around and b) not knowing anyone in a new city

Plus I am an only child


You are an only daughter. An adult daughter. Keyword here is adult not daughter.

You should apply in autumn the year before you want to start. Visit your uni careers team for advice. Get ready for plenty of rejection. Remember, you only need one offer to work and only more to choose the best. Many grad schemes look for soft skills so make sure you you can get them across in your personal statement. Good luck.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by DrSocSciences
So you're not about to head off for a solo Gap year then, I take it? I think your family have done you a disservice, by failing to instil or nurture your independence by this stage. A good place to start would be to regard yourself as an adult without siblings, rather than an only child.


+1
Original post by nyancats
I think you're just being rude here. My parent's haven't done me any sort of disservice or failed me - i'm independent at home just looking on advice to moving to a big new city. And please stop highlighting child - it's a common term that I used - it doesn't mean I think i'm still a child.


You are not. If you don't manage the home you live in, you are not independent.
Original post by nyancats
Well yeah I know that... How soon in advance do you apply for grad jobs?


Usually August is the earliest you can apply for some (that start the next september) and most open in the Aug-Oct time. So in the summer you need to make sure your CV is up to scratch and look around at lots and lots and lots of schemes and make a list of ones you want to do. Then apply as soon as they open if you can, it does make a different when you apply. I had an assessment day before the application deadline date, and they usually say applications might close earlier than that date if numbers are reached.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 15
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nyancats
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Original post by Princepieman
Schemes usually start their processes during the Aug - Oct period the year before you start.

Posted from TSR Mobile


thanks :smile:
Reply 16
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nyancats
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Original post by Juichiro
You are not. If you don't manage the home you live in, you are not independent.


I don't independently pay to run this home but it doesn't mean i'm not an independent person. I pay for all my food, clothes, rent and to run a car as well as doing my current degree and working 20 hours a week so please don't be patronising
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 17
Avatar for nyancats
nyancats
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Original post by LiquidGold
Usually August is the earliest you can apply for some (that start the next september) and most open in the Aug-Oct time. So in the summer you need to make sure your CV is up to scratch and look around at lots and lots and lots of schemes and make a list of ones you want to do. Then apply as soon as they open if you can, it does make a different when you apply. I had an assessment day before the application deadline date, and they usually say applications might close earlier than that date if numbers are reached.


thanks that's helpful to know :smile: need to sort my CV out!
Reply 18
Avatar for nyancats
nyancats
OP
4
Original post by DrSocSciences
I don't wish to offend you, but it's a fair assessment in my view. You sound over-protected, and in your own terms, inadequately prepared for the next important stage of your life.

My advice would be: go and do something new and unfamiliar, for a few days, that you plan independently, and which takes you completely out of your comfort zone. Dealing with setbacks and unforeseen complications is an essential life skill. Learn to cope with stuff, in the absence of your family.

I went to South America alone when I was 17, (without a mobile phone), and came back feeling as though I could handle anything. I'm not suggesting you do that, just push yourself a bit, and you'll be amazed how much resilience that brings.


Yes I agree about pushing yourself and I will and well done for achieving that. But I'm not inadequate or over protected - i'm just nervous about a new chapter of my life potentially in a brand new place. I think that's fair..
Original post by nyancats
I don't independently pay to run this home but it doesn't mean i'm not an independent person. I pay for all my food, clothes, rent and to run a car as well as doing my current degree and working 20 hours a week so please don't be patronising


I am not trying to be patronising. Independence (in the adult sense) involves taking care of all aspects of your life. You aren't (you don't manage your house), hence you are not independent. Before you label me as rude/patronising, the fear that you feel is the fear that comes from independence as everything is your responsibility (as opposed to having your parents managing stuff for you). Do housesharing with other young grads and you will be alright (and more importantly, fully independent!).

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