Non-consent fantasies?
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Original post by Anonymous
This sounds really weird, and I guess it is.
But I've got no idea why I feel this way, and I want some answers. Like girls and guys, who it happens to have their whole lives ruined, but I just feel as if it wouldn't affect me.
When I was younger, I actually wanted to be raped, so I could get my virginity out of the way. I knew this wasn't normal, but I thought it would go away. Then I started reading non-consent stories, and I really enjoy them. I still feel really weird about it, but I can't help what I like :/ I like ones that are really twisted too, which actually scares me. Is this what they call a rape fantasy, or something else?
I understand why rape porn is looked down on and banned? But if the people are acting, I don't see the problem, nor do I see the sick side to the stories (which people comment on, clearly doing it as deep stories, not something someone should actually like or get turned on by.)
To me, it doesn't seem so horrific. Is everyone so nonchalant about it, until it happens to them? Or is this a weird way of thinking?
This isn't meant to offend people who this has happened to, as it seems like a horrific experience. I really, really don't mean any offence. I'm just voicing my thoughts, and I'm really curious as to what other people think. I haven't written or talked about this before (probably because everyone will be disgusted, but my curiousity has gotten the better of me.)
I just wrote this as a bit of a rant, and kind of want to know if anyone else is like this? (I'm not expecting anyone to be) As this is really rare, isn't it? And people are looked down on for liking stuff like this? Why? I actually really want to know what people think.
But I've got no idea why I feel this way, and I want some answers. Like girls and guys, who it happens to have their whole lives ruined, but I just feel as if it wouldn't affect me.
When I was younger, I actually wanted to be raped, so I could get my virginity out of the way. I knew this wasn't normal, but I thought it would go away. Then I started reading non-consent stories, and I really enjoy them. I still feel really weird about it, but I can't help what I like :/ I like ones that are really twisted too, which actually scares me. Is this what they call a rape fantasy, or something else?
I understand why rape porn is looked down on and banned? But if the people are acting, I don't see the problem, nor do I see the sick side to the stories (which people comment on, clearly doing it as deep stories, not something someone should actually like or get turned on by.)
To me, it doesn't seem so horrific. Is everyone so nonchalant about it, until it happens to them? Or is this a weird way of thinking?
This isn't meant to offend people who this has happened to, as it seems like a horrific experience. I really, really don't mean any offence. I'm just voicing my thoughts, and I'm really curious as to what other people think. I haven't written or talked about this before (probably because everyone will be disgusted, but my curiousity has gotten the better of me.)
I just wrote this as a bit of a rant, and kind of want to know if anyone else is like this? (I'm not expecting anyone to be) As this is really rare, isn't it? And people are looked down on for liking stuff like this? Why? I actually really want to know what people think.
me too > : D
i mean rape is forced so probably both parties would be struggling, but if you want to be there taking a beating from their meat in the butt(or destroying someone else's butt if your a male) probably different to what you're thinking? which may be sexual domination which many have suggested?
Original post by hezzlington
Bit of an oxymoron..
lol 100% oxymoron just like a small skyscraper
Original post by hezzlington
Wtf is with you people saying rape fantasies are common in women? Are you ******* insane?
Original post by hezzlington
Do you really need to ask that? You're asking me why I think fantasizing about being raped is insane?
When someone has a fantasy, it's a fantasy. It's not reality. So many people have fantasies about all sorts of things, including stuff that they'd never ever want to do in real life. Or which would be highly illegal. Or fatal. Or physically impossible. Or...
You'd be in need of help if you actually wanted to be raped, but exploring such stuff as fantasy rather than trying everything in reality is probably the reverse of insanity.
Original post by unprinted
When someone has a fantasy, it's a fantasy. It's not reality. So many people have fantasies about all sorts of things, including stuff that they'd never ever want to do in real life. Or which would be highly illegal. Or fatal. Or physically impossible. Or...
You'd be in need of help if you actually wanted to be raped, but exploring such stuff as fantasy rather than trying everything in reality is probably the reverse of insanity.
You'd be in need of help if you actually wanted to be raped, but exploring such stuff as fantasy rather than trying everything in reality is probably the reverse of insanity.
I have a fantasy about ****** my 3 year old sister and then murdering my dog.
But you know what...it's the reverse of insanity
Exploring ideas that are illegal and dangerous is just...healthy. Isn't it?
Original post by Anonymous
I understand why rape porn is looked down on and banned? But if the people are acting, I don't see the problem, nor do I see the sick side to the stories
I've only seen a few minutes of one example and despite being labelled 'real', it was so obviously acting it was embarrassingly bad. (Clue one: the victim-to-be never wondered why a camera crew was filming them as they did the housework and kept panning to show the French window, including getting a close-up of the way it was unlocked...) I stopped watching way before the characters were in the same room and installed a pop-up blocker to stop it happening again.
But if it works for you, fine. Obviously there's a difference between fantasy and reality, and equally obviously, there are people who would happily play the scenes out with you completely consensually.
Your problems would start if these were the only fantasies that turned you on.
Original post by hezzlington
I have a fantasy about ****** my 3 year old sister and then murdering my dog.
But you know what...it's the reverse of insanity Exploring ideas that are illegal and dangerous is just...healthy.
Isn't it?
But you know what...it's the reverse of insanity
Exploring ideas that are illegal and dangerous is just...healthy. Isn't it?
Far better to think about doing it than actually do it. (And when you thought about it, it wasn't erotic, was it?)
Or do you think we should have 'thoughtcrime'?
are you a girl having rape fantasies is very common but a fantasy is a lot different from what it would be like in real life
Original post by unprinted
Far better to think about doing it than actually do it. (And when you thought about it, it wasn't erotic, was it?)
Or do you think we should have 'thoughtcrime'?
Or do you think we should have 'thoughtcrime'?
I'm being facetious, but no it's pretty impossible to police thoughtcrime.
What about a different 'fantasy'. What if the fantasy is not being raped, but actually committing the rape?
Original post by hezzlington
I'm being facetious, but no it's pretty impossible to police thoughtcrime.
What about a different 'fantasy'. What if the fantasy is not being raped, but actually committing the rape?
What about a different 'fantasy'. What if the fantasy is not being raped, but actually committing the rape?
Same comment.
Thank you for all of the responses. I'm on anon because I don't want anyone I know to see this or get messages about it, not because I'm trolling.
Since writing this, I've done some research, and I didn't know it was so common. I've always heard on the news and stuff about how f*cked it is and how it doesn't happen to many.
For me it isn't a BDSM, 50 shades of gray thing, it's more about the reluctance, not violence. So I guess, people above, talking about the reality (being beaten with a knife, etc,) then I wouldn't want it to happen. It has been interesting to read all responses though.
I actually feel like I would want to be the dominant one, as I'm more inclined towards male reluctance, even weirder? Is there a title for that kind of thing, or is it just classed as male submission?
Since writing this, I've done some research, and I didn't know it was so common. I've always heard on the news and stuff about how f*cked it is and how it doesn't happen to many.
For me it isn't a BDSM, 50 shades of gray thing, it's more about the reluctance, not violence. So I guess, people above, talking about the reality (being beaten with a knife, etc,) then I wouldn't want it to happen. It has been interesting to read all responses though.
I actually feel like I would want to be the dominant one, as I'm more inclined towards male reluctance, even weirder? Is there a title for that kind of thing, or is it just classed as male submission?
The dominance fantasy - which is really what it should be called rather than the headline grabbing "rape fantasy" is common and carved into society. Mills and boon, Hollywood and other forms of popular culture have been touting the idea that it's romantic that a woman is initially unavailable but then the man is wins her over despite her resistance. This echoes in a lot of pornographic stories. The woman is resistant but the sexual skill of the man is such that she likes it and is consenting from then on.
I don't need to tell you why this is problematic but not least because it's possible to orgasm when being raped. Sexual arousal is not solely linked to consent.
In a real rape you lose all of your freedom of choice. In a real rape, sexual arousal is the most confusing and humiliating thing. It makes you question your consent. Sometimes it's easier to use that arousal to mentally escape the rape. Or sometimes it helps the rapist finish quicker...you can be taught, in the harshest circumstances, to embrace the sexual arousal because that's what makes the abuse stop.
You can be taught/conditioned to respond (like an animal responding to treat bag being shaken) to words or set phrases and that reduces your autonomy completely. It's one thing losing your freedom but having the resistance before hand. It's completely another to be trained to respond to phrases so that you never get the opportunity to resist.
I don't need to tell you why this is problematic but not least because it's possible to orgasm when being raped. Sexual arousal is not solely linked to consent.
In a real rape you lose all of your freedom of choice. In a real rape, sexual arousal is the most confusing and humiliating thing. It makes you question your consent. Sometimes it's easier to use that arousal to mentally escape the rape. Or sometimes it helps the rapist finish quicker...you can be taught, in the harshest circumstances, to embrace the sexual arousal because that's what makes the abuse stop.
You can be taught/conditioned to respond (like an animal responding to treat bag being shaken) to words or set phrases and that reduces your autonomy completely. It's one thing losing your freedom but having the resistance before hand. It's completely another to be trained to respond to phrases so that you never get the opportunity to resist.
Original post by ~Tara~
The dominance fantasy - which is really what it should be called rather than the headline grabbing "rape fantasy" is common and carved into society. Mills and boon, Hollywood and other forms of popular culture have been touting the idea that it's romantic that a woman is initially unavailable but then the man is wins her over despite her resistance. This echoes in a lot of pornographic stories. The woman is resistant but the sexual skill of the man is such that she likes it and is consenting from then on.
I don't need to tell you why this is problematic but not least because it's possible to orgasm when being raped. Sexual arousal is not solely linked to consent.
In a real rape you lose all of your freedom of choice. In a real rape, sexual arousal is the most confusing and humiliating thing. It makes you question your consent. Sometimes it's easier to use that arousal to mentally escape the rape. Or sometimes it helps the rapist finish quicker...you can be taught, in the harshest circumstances, to embrace the sexual arousal because that's what makes the abuse stop.
You can be taught/conditioned to respond (like an animal responding to treat bag being shaken) to words or set phrases and that reduces your autonomy completely. It's one thing losing your freedom but having the resistance before hand. It's completely another to be trained to respond to phrases so that you never get the opportunity to resist.
I don't need to tell you why this is problematic but not least because it's possible to orgasm when being raped. Sexual arousal is not solely linked to consent.
In a real rape you lose all of your freedom of choice. In a real rape, sexual arousal is the most confusing and humiliating thing. It makes you question your consent. Sometimes it's easier to use that arousal to mentally escape the rape. Or sometimes it helps the rapist finish quicker...you can be taught, in the harshest circumstances, to embrace the sexual arousal because that's what makes the abuse stop.
You can be taught/conditioned to respond (like an animal responding to treat bag being shaken) to words or set phrases and that reduces your autonomy completely. It's one thing losing your freedom but having the resistance before hand. It's completely another to be trained to respond to phrases so that you never get the opportunity to resist.
It would be naive (to put it mildly) to believe that women didn't have rape fantasies before ''social constructs'' and it has no connection to biology/evolution (being ravished by the ''alpha male'' ). Women's main purpose in life is to breed with the highest value male they can possibly get, this is why the thought that the billionaire, the rugged barbarian, the prince, the count, the knight, the fireman, the navy pilot etc etc will stop at nothing to posses you is the ultimate female fantasy. Not many erotic books and movies that include fantasies with garbage men or java programmers , are there?
Original post by Erebor
It would be naive (to put it mildly) to believe that women didn't have rape fantasies before ''social constructs'' and it has no connection to biology/evolution (being ravished by the ''alpha male'' ). Women's main purpose in life is to breed with the highest value male they can possibly get, this is why the thought that the billionaire, the rugged barbarian, the prince, the count, the knight, the fireman, the navy pilot etc etc will stop at nothing to posses you is the ultimate female fantasy. Not many erotic books and movies that include fantasies with garbage men or java programmers , are there?
Slightly controversial...
*hides behind rock*
Not naive when there's no such thing as "before social constructs"
And we can't say that we know the fantasies of our ancestors. But, we do know that for a very long time we have had gender constructs and fantasies often come out of taboos. So the woman who fantasies about being dominated by a male she cannot attain or the female who fantasises about dominating a male.
I mean to properly answer it would be to look at the psychological and sociological etiology of fantasy.
Aside from all that, you can see how the definition and expression of romance and sexual arousal have changed. Men looked and behaved a lot differently in early cinema and literature - at least in the context of romance and particularly when aimed at women
And we can't say that we know the fantasies of our ancestors. But, we do know that for a very long time we have had gender constructs and fantasies often come out of taboos. So the woman who fantasies about being dominated by a male she cannot attain or the female who fantasises about dominating a male.
I mean to properly answer it would be to look at the psychological and sociological etiology of fantasy.
Aside from all that, you can see how the definition and expression of romance and sexual arousal have changed. Men looked and behaved a lot differently in early cinema and literature - at least in the context of romance and particularly when aimed at women
A strong male figure is probably a common fantasy but that doesn't necessarily translate to dominating the female. I'm really not sure where this concept comes from because when pop culture references are aimed at women, men are confident but respectful. The most successful male romantic lead for a while, was played in a bumbling, harmless way. The income those films generate suggest that women's only drive is the "alpha" male who cares little for his conquests but women are grateful to be conquered anyway is actually a falsehood
When you look at the stuff aimed at men..yeah the men becomes almost caricatures of masculinity. They're muscly and tend to think less as a commonality but the main character manages to possess testosterone and analytical thinking. But the largest commonality is that they protect the women. They treat their wives and girlfriends really well and show, in private sensitivity, vulnerability etc. The wife becomes symbolic of safety. The women enjoy the man's status among his male peers. They don't swoon over a man who has little respect for women and wouldn't take no for an answer.
So I am genuinely curious where the opposite idea comes from if it's not actually represented anywhere except porn (soft or hardcore)
That concept of man of many men is actually way more akin to evolution than the pornified version of male sexual dominance over women.
When you look at the stuff aimed at men..yeah the men becomes almost caricatures of masculinity. They're muscly and tend to think less as a commonality but the main character manages to possess testosterone and analytical thinking. But the largest commonality is that they protect the women. They treat their wives and girlfriends really well and show, in private sensitivity, vulnerability etc. The wife becomes symbolic of safety. The women enjoy the man's status among his male peers. They don't swoon over a man who has little respect for women and wouldn't take no for an answer.
So I am genuinely curious where the opposite idea comes from if it's not actually represented anywhere except porn (soft or hardcore)
That concept of man of many men is actually way more akin to evolution than the pornified version of male sexual dominance over women.
(edited 7 years ago)
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