Reconnecting with a girl you professed your love to

About three years ago, I fell head over heels with a girl at uni halls. Unfortunately, I was a bit of a quiet nerd who lacked confidence and I failed to court her, causing it to go a bit awkward between us. I failed to realize that she was all over me; complimenting my looks constantly, hinting that she wants to settle with someone quiet... she'd take me out to clubs, pay for my drinks, introduce me to her friends, and even agreed to a drink when I asked her out, which she later refused, which in hindsight, I realize was probably a test.

Also, somehow by complete coincidence I found myself at the right place, at the right time to overhear a conversation she was having with her friends. She said that she thinks "I think he really likes me (no mention of name)". "Do you like him too?" asked her the friend to which she replied "Yeah, he seems really nice". But a minute after the conversation ended, she returned my text from the morning. If this doesn't indicate interest, I don't know what does.

I eventually overcame my lack of confidence and asked her for a chat. We spoke face to face, and I told her how much I like her, and how I'd like to take this beyond the friendship. Unfortunately, I got back from her a puzzling response - that it would never work out between us because I remind her of her younger brother, and she never felt anything for me. Perhaps I was too slow, cringeworthy and childish in my advances. She probably wanted a man, not an immature quiet nerd.

Three years later, I am a different person, and although I have been in a relationship since, and tried to date different girls, each time I lost a feeling for that particular girl, I always reminded myself of the girl in question, and still do to this day. Is this normal? Is it wise to rekindle some sort of a contact?

I have moved on from her, but I somehow keep reminding myself over how foolish I was.

Reply 1

Powerpuff Girls

1

You weren't foolish most of us go through what you went through. It's not something out of the ordinary, I do the same sometimes. If go through a similar recurring certain from the past where I felt I was hesitant or making dumb decisions, I remind myself of that time and always implement it so that it doesn't reoccur. You can only learn from your mistakes and hope it doesn't happen again.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Powerpuff Girls

You weren't foolish most of us go through what you went through. It's not something out of the ordinary, I do the same sometimes. If go through a similar recurring certain from the past where I felt I was hesitant or making dumb decisions, I remind myself of that time and always implement it so that it doesn't reoccur. You can only learn from your mistakes and hope it doesn't happen again.

Thank you for your kind words. I agree that we should learn on mistakes and hope for the best.

However, do you think it is worth getting back in touch with her; to reconnect, and maybe see how things go from there? I have moved on, dated some girls since, but I always keep coming back to her in thoughts, and it's a bit tiring. I want to do something about it.

it's worth a try

To be brutally honest if she had been up for it she would have gone for it at the time. And if a girl tells you she's not interested it its a complete death knell. The only time I've seen this changes is if she later gets totally desperate, which is hardly a ringing endorsement. Looking back is the path to more angst. Put that energy instead in to finding someone who is enthusiastic from the beginning and sieze the moment.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Zarek

To be brutally honest if she had been up for it she would have gone for it at the time. And if a girl tells you she's not interested it its a complete death knell. The only time I've seen this changes is if she later gets totally desperate, which is hardly a ringing endorsement. Looking back is the path to more angst. Put that energy instead in to finding someone who is enthusiastic from the beginning and sieze the moment.

I'm glad your honest, and believe me, I've tried - I went to the gym for a while, I have interests and I keep myself busy, but I'm still yet to find a person who is incredibly enthuasistic about me since that girl. I was in a relationship for about six months recently, but called it off, as the girl was incredibly self-centered and I felt no benefits. She doesn't seem to miss me either.

Do I repel them or something?

Reply 6

Zarek

21

[QUOTE=Anonymous;64476581]I'm glad your honest, and believe me, I've tried - I went to the gym for a while, I have interests and I keep myself busy, but I'm still yet to find a person who is incredibly enthuasistic about me since that girl. I was in a relationship for about six months recently, but called it off, as the girl was incredibly self-centered and I felt no benefits. She doesn't seem to miss me either.

Do I repel them or something?
I think dating is a mine field of unrequited love, rejection, betrayal etc. Somehow the quest for intimacy keeps us going. I've have wasted too much time on no hope situation. I believe that with persistence the right person for you turns up. This is even sweeter because of the difficult journey. Good luck.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Zarek

I think dating is a mine field of unrequited love, rejection, betrayal etc. Somehow the quest for intimacy keeps us going. I've have wasted too much time on no hope situation. I believe that with persistence the right person for you turns up. This is even sweeter because of the difficult journey. Good luck.

Perhaps.

However, I remember I was the one getting rid of her completely, not the other way round - deleting her off Facebook about three months after the rejection, after she **** tested me in the kitchen (didn't realize that at the time). She criticized me in front of her good friend over an 'object', and I reacted by leaving the 'object' as it was, and going off without a word. Today, I probably would have a tense convo with her, maintaining my opinions persistently, and I wouldn't delete her.

She still follows me on Instagram though, and she seems to lead a lonely life abroad. But then that's only Instagram, only probably gives you a small insight into what her life is like right now. Still, I feel like it was a missed opportunity.

Reconnecting with a girl you professed your love to

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