My boyfriend is still in the closet.

Hi all.

I have been in a great relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 7 months now.

The only thing that irks..me is that he still in the closet i have never met his parents , never been to his house and so on.

He has been to my house , met my parents & family.

Everytime i approach him about the subject i get told ''Will you stop i'll tell them this weekend'' , and nothing ever changes i don't want to push him to far but what do i do i have even offered him to move in with me if it doesn't go well but he just won't do it even though he said ''My family will be fine with it''

He did say ''I just wish they'd ask me''

P.S - He is out to everybody else except his family!

:/ - Help please.

(edited 7 years ago)

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Reply 1

M14B

I always thought in the closet means secret gay

Reply 2

LN44

Well i guess he is...to his family anyway.

Reply 3

chikane

Original post by LN44

It is probably harder for him what if they don't accept this and want nothing to do with him? he might say to you the will be 'fine' but maybe he is unsure. Let him tell them when he is ready.

Reply 4

LN44

Thanks for the advice.

Reply 5

karl pilkington

have you blown each other yet

Reply 6

DanteTheDoorKnob

7 months is a long time to be stuck in there. Do you feed him regularly?

Reply 7

LN44

Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob

7 months is a long time to be stuck in there. Do you feed him regularly?

Frequently.

Reply 8

LN44

Original post by karl pilkington

have you blown each other yet

What do you think?

Reply 9

patheticboy

i get you're frustrated but have you thought about why he hasnt told them. My mate put it off forever and i was like why? He then jumped the gun, asked and got disowned. His family might say anti-gay stuff and be generally homophobic and he's trying to guage whether theyll accept him or if he's going to need a backup plan, and yeah its nice you've offered but if you two dont work out then he's stuck.

Reply 10

drosstalk

Original post by LN44

What if he's homeless and has not parents ?

Reply 11

username2324383

He's not ready to come out
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(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 12

username1539513

Original post by M14B

I always thought in the closet means secret gay

How do you know the OP isn't male?

Still the same

Then bring him out! Whats he doing in there?

Reply 15

Dann.It

Original post by LN44

Being out to your friends, and parents/family are two different things. As with friends, he could eventually move on ( if it goes wrong) ..where-as family/parents is far more complicated as he may become homeless, and disowned etc.

Right now, it seems that he is not ready to come out to them. I know it must be frustrating etc, especially as you've introduced him to your side of the family. But you've just got to wait it out, until he is ready to.

Tbh your situation is quite similar to mine. i too was out to my friends, except parents/family, as i already had an idea as to what would happen if they found out, since they'd always make negative remarks to gays etc ( may be the same for him??) But anyway, 4 months into my relationship parents found out.. bad endin, and so on...

So really you've got to leave it to him, until he's ready to :smile:

Reply 16

HighwayUnicorn

I don't think it's fair to put that kind of pressure on him. Coming out is one of the most personal and hardest things to do. There's lots of potential consequences to it if his family rejects him so he has to be completely ready. If you two are young then it's likely that both of you depend on your families still and can't afford to risk that.

It's his decision and he will do it when it's right for him.