The Student Room Group

Tinder advice please!

Basically, it's my first time ever going on a 'dating' site. I initially downloaded it because my friends had it and they seemed to be having fun on there, so I though why not? I was looking to get into a relationship because when I do get one, I want it to be serious. Although, I have recently started to this guy on there and he is so cute! I don't necessarily mean that he is 'cute' because of his looks but because he seems to have a great personality, we have similar interests and he is so sweet to me! :colondollar:

We usually end up talking at night because I've been busy during the day and I presume he has to and when I do have time, I don't want to have to constantly check up on tinder to see if he has sent me a message.

Honestly, I only have tinder now, to just talk to him, otherwise I would have deleted it. It is really frustrating, I want to get to know him more, but I don't want to sound desperate either i.e. having to be the first one to text him etc. I would find it much easier if we were to text (not on tinder), but it would be a little weird if I was to ask him for is phone number, I wish he would just ask me instead; although, I'm not certain whether the feelings are mutual or not and I don't want to rush into things either! I think I am starting to really like him and can't get him out of my head :frown:. I just don't know what to do.
best thing to do is basically say "give me a text on xxxxxxxxx and we'll go for a drink or something, if not then no worries"

he will probably be very pleasantly surprised that a girl asked first
Most guys on Tinder aren't interested in relationships, only flings, hookups, shags etc. But you're lucky you've found a decent bloke on there. Try asking for his other social media accounts, even one of them, so that your relationship moves out of Tinder and you don't get harrassed by the indecent ones there :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Basically, it's my first time ever going on a 'dating' site. I initially downloaded it because my friends had it and they seemed to be having fun on there, so I though why not? I was looking to get into a relationship because when I do get one, I want it to be serious. Although, I have recently started to this guy on there and he is so cute! I don't necessarily mean that he is 'cute' because of his looks but because he seems to have a great personality, we have similar interests and he is so sweet to me! :colondollar:

We usually end up talking at night because I've been busy during the day and I presume he has to and when I do have time, I don't want to have to constantly check up on tinder to see if he has sent me a message.

Honestly, I only have tinder now, to just talk to him, otherwise I would have deleted it. It is really frustrating, I want to get to know him more, but I don't want to sound desperate either i.e. having to be the first one to text him etc. I would find it much easier if we were to text (not on tinder), but it would be a little weird if I was to ask him for is phone number, I wish he would just ask me instead; although, I'm not certain whether the feelings are mutual or not and I don't want to rush into things either! I think I am starting to really like him and can't get him out of my head :frown:. I just don't know what to do.


Ask him for his Facebook, or if you can add him on there - it's innocent enough and if he says 'no' you know where he stands (it's just a Tinder thing)

If he says yes, then move the conversation to Facebook messenger instead of Tinder :wink:
Asking for his phone number is not desperate.

If you'd feel more comfortable talking to him that way then ask him. You said he's very sweet to you and he's on tinder so I think it's safe to assume he likes you. He's not going to freak out over such a simple detail.

You do seem a tad obsessed, but as long as you're not bombarding him with incessant text messages or getting unjustifiably annoyed when he doesn't reply immediately then I doubt you're going to scare him off.
Reply 5
Original post by VladThe1mpaler
best thing to do is basically say "give me a text on xxxxxxxxx and we'll go for a drink or something, if not then no worries"

he will probably be very pleasantly surprised that a girl asked first


I will do that then. We were joking about something the other day and he said he would take me out sometime :tongue:
Reply 6
Original post by shawn_o1
Most guys on Tinder aren't interested in relationships, only flings, hookups, shags etc. But you're lucky you've found a decent bloke on there. Try asking for his other social media accounts, even one of them, so that your relationship moves out of Tinder and you don't get harrassed by the indecent ones there :smile:


Haha that's so true! I get some weird people on there. I will do that and see how it goes :smile:

Original post by NatalieEXE
Ask him for his Facebook, or if you can add him on there - it's innocent enough and if he says 'no' you know where he stands (it's just a Tinder thing)

If he says yes, then move the conversation to Facebook messenger instead of Tinder :wink:


Yes, will do that. Thank you ! :smile:

Original post by tengentoppa
Asking for his phone number is not desperate.

If you'd feel more comfortable talking to him that way then ask him. You said he's very sweet to you and he's on tinder so I think it's safe to assume he likes you. He's not going to freak out over such a simple detail.

You do seem a tad obsessed, but as long as you're not bombarding him with incessant text messages or getting unjustifiably annoyed when he doesn't reply immediately then I doubt you're going to scare him off.


Haha thought someone would say something like this :tongue: and no I don't intend to 'bombard' him with messages or anything like that, which is why I came on here to get some advice, of what is 'acceptable' or what isn't because I don't want him to get the wrong impression of me and I don't want to ruin things, considering I'm very unlikely to find someone like him in the mean time. :smile:
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
I wish he would just ask me instead; although, I'm not certain whether the feelings are mutual or not and I don't want to rush into things either!


You're not sure whether the feeling's mutual? You're talking to him on Tinder...

Don't de-escalate by going to Facebook, just ask what his number is.
Reply 8
Original post by JoeTSR
You're not sure whether the feeling's mutual? You're talking to him on Tinder...

Don't de-escalate by going to Facebook, just ask what his number is.


Ok. What is that suppose to mean exactly?
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
Ok. What is that suppose to mean exactly?


There's not a lot of room for interpretation in my post, surely?
Original post by JoeTSR
There's not a lot of room for interpretation in my post, surely?


How am I suppose to know he likes me? When I say this, I mean in terms of liking me more than other person on there -_-! geez. It doesn't hurt elaborating a question.
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
How am I suppose to know he likes me? When I say this, I mean in terms of liking me more than other person on there -_-! geez. It doesn't hurt elaborating a question.


You're right, it doesn't hurt to elaborate a question. So I don't see why you're getting all arsey about it.

Because he's swiped right on you. That's a hell of a lot more info than you get in the real world.
Original post by JoeTSR
You're right, it doesn't hurt to elaborate a question. So I don't see why you're getting all arsey about it.

Because he's swiped right on you. That's a hell of a lot more info than you get in the real world.


Well not really. Just because you swip right doesn't mean you like them but that you are interested in them e.g. You find them attractive etc. That is very different. I mean, how can you like someone you no nothing/ very minimal information about?! :s-smilie:
Original post by Anonymous
Well not really. Just because you swip right doesn't mean you like them but that you are interested in them e.g. You find them attractive etc. That is very different. I mean, how can you like someone you no nothing/ very minimal information about?! :s-smilie:


*+ by just looking at a picture that is
Reply 14
Original post by Anonymous
Well not really. Just because you swip right doesn't mean you like them but that you are interested in them e.g. You find them attractive etc. That is very different. I mean, how can you like someone you no nothing/ very minimal information about?! :s-smilie:


You never know everything about a person. Ever. Even when you're married.

The fact that he spends all this time messaging you probably implies that he likes you. You can never be certain of anything in life. But sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.

If he knows minimal information about you, there's one simple solution to that problem...
Seriously, ditch Tinder and actually get out there . . find REAL people!
Well if it went any further, the relationship would naturally progress away from Tinder to texting/meeting etc
A simple "I'm going out now, feel free to text me on XXX if you want to talk :smile:"

If he does (Y)
If he doesn't (N) move on - you can't make a clear enough sign and you don't have time to waste.

Secondly, be aware that this is your first 'crush' on Tinder. People are not always how they portray themselves.
next is get his number or sc
When I started reading I thought "...and you're using Tinder for this???" but it seems you've struck it ****ing lucky and found the 1 guy that uses Tinder for something other than a quick hook up.

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