Female, muslim, high sex drive - don't know what to do?!

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Reply 180

Anonymous #3

Original post by emobambam

LOL so many girls hide their sex toys in their underwear drawer :colondollar:

it's also where we hide the weed

Reply 181

Anonymous #1

Original post by Serine Soul

Among her clothes? Under a bed? Back of a wardrobe?

Her family have no reason to be rummaging through her room and so should not find it.

I live away from home during term time but when I do go home my mum doesn't know the meaning of the word privacy (she says she's just 'tidying' my room - which is really just an excuse to go through my stuff).

To be fair, I don't think it would do a better job than my fingers tbh,

Reply 182

Anonymous #1

Original post by yasminkattan

Salam.

"Relieving yourself" is haram. Whenever you feel the need to do this, occupy yourself with something else (voluntary prayers, studying for exams, surround yourself with friends and family), and it's also recommended to fast as it lowers your sex drive:

“O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, and whoever cannot afford it, let him fast, for that will be a shield for him.” [Al-Bukhaari, 4778; Muslim, 1400] ...Also applies to women.

I've never heard of iron tablets increasing someone's sex drive, but if you think this is the cause then stop taking them. Simple.

If all else fails, find yourself a husband. That is, if you're serious about keeping your chastity and avoiding what is haram.

(And please don't follow the advice of non-Muslims as they will obviously recommend what is forbidden in our religion).

I realise 'relieving myself' is not exactly halal, but I physically can't concentrate when trying to revise otherwise. If I didn't allow myself this then I most likely would have sinned worse by now. I envy people with low sex drives.

I've been taking the tablets for 2 months and am due to stop taking them soon. Doubt they have increased my sex drive as it's only shot up in the past 2 weeks.

Finding a marriage partner is v. hard when you don't live in a muslim area and at uni with only younger people. I've never gotten any attention from muslim guys for this reason (although I'm not ugly, I do get attention from attractive non-muslim guys). But I am staying away from dating right now.

Thanks for the reply

Reply 183

username1788167

Original post by Anonymous

Sis there are other ways of dealing with this, such as exercising, fasting or praying. You need to distract yourself and stop making excuses. The "urge" you get is only temporary. The method you're using right now has most probably become an addiction and it has consequences, both religious and mental/physical once you're married and are able to have sex. Not being able to concentrate when you revise is not an excuse, as I'm sure this isn't at all true. You are able to control it.

You don't have to live in a Muslim area to look for a husband. You could go to any mosque and ask for help there. You will find a way if this is really what you want, and this is the only real solution to staying away from these haram activities, especially in your case as you find it harder to control your desires.

Hope all goes well for you inshaAllah :smile:

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 184

Anonymous #5

Masturbate or premarital companionship, is perhaps your only avenue for the release of sexual frustration. (Do so safely)

I personally conform to the view, 'You've to got to test it out, before you get engaged'. I don't think early or arranged marriage is a good thing, as others have advocated- primarily stating so due to the rulings of a 7th century religion. You need to look for compatibility, you need relationship experience, you need to test the relationship, see if it stands firm under pressure and trials, and if the person still remains faithful, intimate and loving. Then conclude whether the relationship is worthy of being upgraded to something as serious as "marriage".

Marriage is not to be taken lightly, just to be misused for primarily the release of sexual frustration. In such a desperate state for sex, contemplating marriage seems like a very ridiculous and rushed decision, that will one likely regret post sexual activity.

Sexual desire is natural and masturbation and premarital safe sex harms no one and is quite enjoyable.

Reply 185

Josb

Original post by Anonymous

At 23?

Reply 186

blackcurrent101

that's why self control is so important in Islam,
and that's what Ramadan teaches you but since you've never fasted for such reasons your self discipline might have room for improvements,
so... how about you try fasting with the right intentions this year and see how it goes? :smile:

Reply 187

free_the_mind

Original post by Anonymous

It's really twice a day, not all day. But you're right though, maybe going for a run will help.

You just need a release. You're a young healthy woman at the end of the day and it is completely normal religious or non religious it doesn't matter. Many women can relate. So yeah find your thing if that is some sort of physical sport or running etc.

Reply 188

Anonymous #1

Original post by Ishea16

I've fasted every year since I was 12 - except for last year (but that was really for medical reasons). I'm feeling better now so if my blood test results come back ok insha'allah I will fast this year. My GP is muslim so I will ask her about it when I go for my check-up.

Reply 189

emobambam

Original post by Josb

At 23?

mother's never stop.

Reply 190

emobambam

Original post by Anonymous

it's also where we hide the weed

you sound like a fun girl, are you Muslim?

Reply 191

username1551801

Original post by GUMI

Welcome to every guys' life

But I'm not a Muslim, nor am I female.

Reply 192

XxKingSniprxX

Original post by GUMI

Welcome to every guys' life

Original post by Perfection Ace

Revise whilst fasting - Ramadan is soon and this will definitely solve this problem. Nevertheless, I will be sure to make Dua for you! :smile:

Good luck revising on a caloric deficit. :biggrin:

#nocarbsafter6pm :rofl:

Reply 193

mariachi

Original post by Anonymous

Sexual desire is natural and masturbation and premarital safe sex harms no one and is quite enjoyable.

I think that this is the bottom line

religions which uselessly torture people for years on end with forced chastity are a relic of times when no effective birth control system existed, when women had zero possibility of developing independent careers and financial autonomy, and were bought and sold like cattle

luckily, as far as economically and socially developed countries are concerned, this torture is largely over, and pre-marital sex is the rule rather than the exception

for most everyone, except for those poor Muslims (mostly females) who want to "take their religion seriously" and/or avoid to "bring shame" on their families

Reply 194

mariachi

Original post by yasminkattan

please don't follow the advice of non-Muslims

well, this is really offensive and a heinous discrimination

OP should simply follow the advice that makes more sense for her : regardless of whether it comes from Muslims, Scientologists, Pastafarians or Jedi Knights

how did it happen that you developed this form of blatant kuffarophobia ?

Reply 195

Anonymous #3

Original post by emobambam

you sound like a fun girl, are you Muslim?

lol yes

Reply 196

MevMev

Original post by Anonymous

yeah i totally get why its hard to find muslim boys yourself in this situation- talk to older boys at uni if your year group are younger?
and tell you're parents that you're ready for marriage- they can help u find a muslim boy - arranged marriage aint so bad ya know