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Opinions on stay at home girlfriends/wifes?

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If her job is to stay at home, clean the house, do the ironing, washing & wiping up, dinner and all other domestic chores while the man goes to work, then fair enough. If she just wants to watch TV all day and leech off her man, nah, no respect from me.
Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes
No? I thought happy parents= happy children, well in their younger and formative years. Later on it doesn't work that way...


I don't think it's that straightforward necessarily -- you could easily have neglectful parents that enjoy their own lives to the hilt/chase their own careers and treat their children as a nuisance borne out of social pressures, to be given a few curt nods and mostly fobbed off with 'that's nice, dear' type comments.

I wonder what Mr. :holmes: would think about all this... :flute:
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by ChaoticButterfly
:hmmmm: :holmes:

Spoiler



Stop it, that comment made me sound like a really gross troll. :colonhash: Shame on you for putting me in that position.
Original post by Hydeman
I don't think it's that straightforward necessarily -- you could easily have neglectful parents that enjoy their own lives to the hilt/chase their own careers (the latter being the case with my parents) and treat their children as a nuisance borne out of societal expectation, to be given a few curt nods and mostly fobbed off with 'that's nice, dear' type comments.

I wonder what Mr. :holmes: would think about all this... :flute:


Okay, well I'm even more sorry hearing that. No, you must make your children feel loved and wanted, that is extremely important! But you must be happy yourself too. It needs to be a right balance.

What the fictional one, or the real one in the very distant future? LOL
No. If I ever have kids the husband is going to have to stay at home with them. It would drive me insane only having children and menial stuff like looking after the house
RIP the man's finances if they get divorced.

Not going to fall into that trap.
Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes
Yes and that's totally fine, it's up to them. I just don't think it should be expected of women. You don't need traditional family units for children to turn out okay, fathers should be nurturing towards their children also (that isn't very traditional though, is it?).


Who said anything about expecting women to be like that? Of course it's entirely up to them. I just think there's this ridiculous perception that every woman who stays at home while her husband works is doing so under duress.
I think you do need traditional family units although that's not a popular opinion in today's society. But I think that's what people should aim for if they want the best chance of establishing a stable environment for raising children.
Yeah fathers should have a role, but I do believe a mother's role is of greater importance. It's clear you disagree tho and that's ok.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 47
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Josb
6
She'd better work - at least part-time - because I won't give her my gold.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 48
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Josb
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Original post by ChaoticButterfly
So does work.


It depends on the job.
Original post by Mentally
Very strange coming from an Arab considering this being the very standard in our culture. I also think its unfair to say you are 'reducing yourself' if you become a housewife. I genuinely think the housewife has a harder more difficult role than the husband in many cases

Not all Arabs think the same or have the same attitudes, clearly. My views on this matter are shared by other arabs I know.

Perhaps reducing was the wrong word to use. I'd feel like I was wasting my potential;I have a very clear idea of what I want to do with my life, and I'm very passionate about the future career that I'm aiming for, so being a housewife would be very limiting and I know I wouldn't be happy living that kind of life.I have no doubt that it's not easy work, but it's just not something I want for myself.
Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes
No? I thought happy parents= happy children, well in their younger and formative years. Later on it doesn't work that way...


imo it should be the complete opposite. If you have kids, you should put their happiness before anything you may want. If you're raising another human life, unable to care for itself and totally dependant on you, it's selfish to compromise on that care for your own selfish wants and desires. Of course not everyone is in that position, but those that are able to should. We live in a very selfish generation, everything's me, me, me, people need to realise you can't raise a kid properly with that attitude.
Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes
Okay, well I'm even more sorry hearing that. No, you must make your children feel loved and wanted, that is extremely important! But you must be happy yourself too. It needs to be a right balance.


Agreed.

What the fictional one, or the real one in the very distant future? LOL


I was going for the fictional one; I've always assumed that the idea of your username is to imply that you're the fictional Holmes's one and only. :tongue:

Original post by infairverona
No. If I ever have kids the husband is going to have to stay at home with them. It would drive me insane only having children and menial stuff like looking after the house


It could drive your husband insane, too, unless he's the paternal type. :K:

Original post by Josb
She'd better work - at least part-time - because I won't give her my gold.

Get with the times, and with the fiat money, Frenchie. :slap:
Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes
Yes because our lives resemble porn.


Didn't you know?

The husband could also be getting it on with his secretary as well.
Reply 53
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Original post by Hydeman

Get with the times, and with the fiat money, Frenchie. :slap:


Stop hitting me. :frown:
Original post by dairychocolate
RIP the man's finances if they get divorced.

Not going to fall into that trap.


Prenup
Original post by RivalPlayer
Just because you turned out "fine" doesn't mean a nurturing mother isn't necessary. It's essential in my opinion. Obviously your mum didn't have a choice at the time so that's understandable.

And no, not everyone has to work. I know it's trendy to downplay the importance of traditional family units these days but there are women out there that are happy to be stay-at-home mothers because they want to spend time with their children.

It's not one or the other. A woman can work while also being a nurturing mother. I agree that in the first few years of a child's life it's very important for the child to form a key bond with the mother, and so perhaps full time work may not be appropriate then. However as the child grows and enters school, there's really no need for the mother to feel that she cannot work and must stay at home in order to ensure her child's wellbeing. What's so wrong with a woman working during the hours that her child is at school?
(If you are just talking about the early years then my bad)
Original post by Hydeman


It could drive your husband insane, too, unless he's the paternal type. :K:



Good point...my boyfriend seems to want kids more than me though. I honestly don't think I could stomach even a week of just sitting about with a baby
Original post by dairychocolate
RIP the man's finances if they get divorced.

Not going to fall into that trap.


You can get a prenup. Only problem with that is how humiliating it is, cos it shows there's not alot of trust in the relationship.
Imho.... The housewife seems to do more work than the average working husband.

Spoiler

Original post by Josb
Stop hitting me. :frown:


Okay, I will (for now). :console:

Original post by infairverona
Good point...my boyfriend seems to want kids more than me though. I honestly don't think I could stomach even a week of just sitting about with a baby


Hmm, it should work out alright, then. :crossedf:

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