Boyfriend is really clingy and won't let me revise for A Levels
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Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend is amazing but he's really clingy. I have exams in about two weeks and I keep telling him I need to revise. He works so he comes back at about 6:30 and I'm home by 5. We usually talk until we fall asleep when he comes home, but it's becoming an issue because he's always wanting to talk so I hardly have any time to revise. He tells me to work hard and make him proud but doesn't leave me any time to do so, -and gets upset with me when I tell him that I need to do work instead of talk. Any advice on how to get him to give me some space?
tell him to grow some balls and leave you alone
Tell him you love that you get to talk about all this stuff you never thought you'd find anyone to do it with, but you really got to work to do, just like he does, and you will feel less tense and more free once it's out of the way.
Suggest him something to do, play a game, watch videos, whatever.
Suggest him something to do, play a game, watch videos, whatever.
This just reminds me of Jay from the Inbetweeners
When you say you talk in the evenings, are you actually physically together or are you talking over skype, something like that? If it's the latter, then turn off your phone/laptop if you have to, or switch off the internet while you're trying to work, after you've told him you'll be revising for X amount of time, and you'll speak to him at Y o'clock. That way you aren't cutting him off completely, and telling him he will get to speak to you, but that you need that other time to revise.
If you're physically together, then either tell him not to come over, or again, explain that you'll be working for X number of hours in a specific place, so the door will be closed and he's not to interrupt. As others have said, suggest things he can do: watch TV/a film, go on the internet, play games. Then when you're done for the evening, you can join him & have some time together without feeling guilty.
All of these scenarios rely on you being firm but kind with him. Explain how important the exams are, that it's just two weeks of work, and once you're done you'll be much freer to spend time with him. If he's a decent guy then he'll understand, even if it's hard for him since he's mega-clingy. But if he just can't leave you alone, then consider other options: study at school or the library or even a coffee shop until a certain time in the evening, and only then come home.
If you're physically together, then either tell him not to come over, or again, explain that you'll be working for X number of hours in a specific place, so the door will be closed and he's not to interrupt. As others have said, suggest things he can do: watch TV/a film, go on the internet, play games. Then when you're done for the evening, you can join him & have some time together without feeling guilty.
All of these scenarios rely on you being firm but kind with him. Explain how important the exams are, that it's just two weeks of work, and once you're done you'll be much freer to spend time with him. If he's a decent guy then he'll understand, even if it's hard for him since he's mega-clingy. But if he just can't leave you alone, then consider other options: study at school or the library or even a coffee shop until a certain time in the evening, and only then come home.
Thank you for the replies everyone, I've sorted things out now
He might leave you but remember that your grades won't leave you. They'll stay with you and you can take that success wherever you go, it isn't worth it trust me!
Tell him straight and if he understands fair enough, if not maybe you need to decide what's really more important for you, a guy who can leave you any time, or the chance of a successful future doing what you love as you've got the qualification which you require. Ruining your chances is a big issue.
Edit: OP says problem is sorted now.
Tell him straight and if he understands fair enough, if not maybe you need to decide what's really more important for you, a guy who can leave you any time, or the chance of a successful future doing what you love as you've got the qualification which you require. Ruining your chances is a big issue.
Edit: OP says problem is sorted now.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend is amazing but he's really clingy. I have exams in about two weeks and I keep telling him I need to revise. He works so he comes back at about 6:30 and I'm home by 5. We usually talk until we fall asleep when he comes home, but it's becoming an issue because he's always wanting to talk so I hardly have any time to revise. He tells me to work hard and make him proud but doesn't leave me any time to do so, -and gets upset with me when I tell him that I need to do work instead of talk. Any advice on how to get him to give me some space?
girl dump him!!!!!! boys are temporary grades are forever
Original post by Anonymous
How old are you.. 10? that you can't make decisions for yourself lmao, grow up already, your boyfriend doesn't dictate your lifestyle.
You're strange that you reply to your own comment.....
Original post by angeldust1
girl dump him!!!!!! boys are temporary grades are forever
A's before Baes
Original post by *Alisha*
You're strange that you reply to your own comment.....
I'm anonymous #1. Anonymous #2 was the one who replied to that.
Original post by Viridiana
Maybe tell us how you've approached it and what his reaction was, I'm interested 
He felt really really bad at the time... I hope he still feels bad though so I can actually revise lol
I just sat in silence on the phone with him for about 2 hours until he got it out of me and I told him lol
Original post by Jimmy Seville
This just reminds me of Jay from the Inbetweeners
Jay:I text her 15, 16 times a day, facebook myspace bebo, just to let her know I'm thinking of her
Simon: Like a stalker?
Original post by Anonymous
I'm anonymous #1. Anonymous #2 was the one who replied to that.
.....ok......
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend is amazing but he's really clingy. I have exams in about two weeks and I keep telling him I need to revise. He works so he comes back at about 6:30 and I'm home by 5. We usually talk until we fall asleep when he comes home, but it's becoming an issue because he's always wanting to talk so I hardly have any time to revise. He tells me to work hard and make him proud but doesn't leave me any time to do so, -and gets upset with me when I tell him that I need to do work instead of talk. Any advice on how to get him to give me some space?
Just tell him.
I am in exactly the same position so I understand that its an awkward position to be in- you don't want to hurt him but you obviously have to work hard and revise because its so important for your future!
To be honest with my boyfriend it has resulted in a few arguments but I think we've now reached a compromise. I don't know if it'll work for you but I explained to him just how important these exams are to me and how I am going to revise until 9.30 and then after that we'll talk until we go to sleep and that it's only for a few more months and then it'll all be back to normal.
We both have to put more effort in like this to make it work (as in we call each other instead of texting and when we see each other (for like 4 hours a week) we actually go out and do something instead of just watching a film in one of our houses) but it seems to be going okay.
Don't let him getting upset upset you because it'll all be over soon and don't feel guilty because its not your fault that you have exams! (Also don't listen to those people who tell you to end it with him because they don't know your relationship and in my opinion exams aren't a thing to break up over!!)
If you ever want any advise just ask, I'm not great at it ahaha, but I am in exactly the same position as you!!
To be honest with my boyfriend it has resulted in a few arguments but I think we've now reached a compromise. I don't know if it'll work for you but I explained to him just how important these exams are to me and how I am going to revise until 9.30 and then after that we'll talk until we go to sleep and that it's only for a few more months and then it'll all be back to normal.
We both have to put more effort in like this to make it work (as in we call each other instead of texting and when we see each other (for like 4 hours a week) we actually go out and do something instead of just watching a film in one of our houses) but it seems to be going okay.
Don't let him getting upset upset you because it'll all be over soon and don't feel guilty because its not your fault that you have exams! (Also don't listen to those people who tell you to end it with him because they don't know your relationship and in my opinion exams aren't a thing to break up over!!)
If you ever want any advise just ask, I'm not great at it ahaha, but I am in exactly the same position as you!!
I think it's a good idea to be stuck in a low-paying job that you hate for the rest of your life because you didn't want to hurt the feelings of some oversized child who you dated when you were a teenager.
What works for me and my boyfriend (He works and is at college once a week as part of his apprenticeship, i'm at uni) when we need time to both revise/do work. We set up a schedule, so i may see him Mondays,Wednesdays and Thursdays but i'll tell him in advance 'Look for the next couple of weeks i need time to revise, so if you wouldnt mind could we just see eachother once a week until its all settled and we get back to normal after exams'.
What also works is if you say right i need this amount of time to revise, so i cant talk/see you but when my exams are over lets do something nice go for a meal/out for drinks etc. To get that time back together after its all back to normal.
Just tell him straight lovely, you can't be pussyfooting around them, you need to just tell them straight and if he goes in a mood with you then fine but he'll soon realise how stupid hes been and come running back anyway.
You'll be fine love, tell him straight, set up a schedule if need be and then when things get back to normal have a nice meal out to celebrate! xx
What also works is if you say right i need this amount of time to revise, so i cant talk/see you but when my exams are over lets do something nice go for a meal/out for drinks etc. To get that time back together after its all back to normal.
Just tell him straight lovely, you can't be pussyfooting around them, you need to just tell them straight and if he goes in a mood with you then fine but he'll soon realise how stupid hes been and come running back anyway.
You'll be fine love, tell him straight, set up a schedule if need be and then when things get back to normal have a nice meal out to celebrate! xx
Original post by elise98
I am in exactly the same position so I understand that its an awkward position to be in- you don't want to hurt him but you obviously have to work hard and revise because its so important for your future!
To be honest with my boyfriend it has resulted in a few arguments but I think we've now reached a compromise. I don't know if it'll work for you but I explained to him just how important these exams are to me and how I am going to revise until 9.30 and then after that we'll talk until we go to sleep and that it's only for a few more months and then it'll all be back to normal.
We both have to put more effort in like this to make it work (as in we call each other instead of texting and when we see each other (for like 4 hours a week) we actually go out and do something instead of just watching a film in one of our houses) but it seems to be going okay.
Don't let him getting upset upset you because it'll all be over soon and don't feel guilty because its not your fault that you have exams! (Also don't listen to those people who tell you to end it with him because they don't know your relationship and in my opinion exams aren't a thing to break up over!!)
If you ever want any advise just ask, I'm not great at it ahaha, but I am in exactly the same position as you!!
To be honest with my boyfriend it has resulted in a few arguments but I think we've now reached a compromise. I don't know if it'll work for you but I explained to him just how important these exams are to me and how I am going to revise until 9.30 and then after that we'll talk until we go to sleep and that it's only for a few more months and then it'll all be back to normal.
We both have to put more effort in like this to make it work (as in we call each other instead of texting and when we see each other (for like 4 hours a week) we actually go out and do something instead of just watching a film in one of our houses) but it seems to be going okay.
Don't let him getting upset upset you because it'll all be over soon and don't feel guilty because its not your fault that you have exams! (Also don't listen to those people who tell you to end it with him because they don't know your relationship and in my opinion exams aren't a thing to break up over!!)
If you ever want any advise just ask, I'm not great at it ahaha, but I am in exactly the same position as you!!
Ahhh thank you!! That really helped a lot😭💙 it's nice to know I'm not the only one aha😅 Yeah same here, but I guess you need a little arguement to see sense
There's one problem I have though, everyone is saying to revise until about 8:30 or 9 but the thing is that he works 12 hour shifts because he's got a managerial role. So he has to wake up at 3 in the morning to be at work for 5, and obviously I don't want to be keeping him up because he needs sleep, I've spoke. To him and he doesn't mind waiting but it's just a bit mean I suppose
Original post by JS31294
What works for me and my boyfriend (He works and is at college once a week as part of his apprenticeship, i'm at uni) when we need time to both revise/do work. We set up a schedule, so i may see him Mondays,Wednesdays and Thursdays but i'll tell him in advance 'Look for the next couple of weeks i need time to revise, so if you wouldnt mind could we just see eachother once a week until its all settled and we get back to normal after exams'.
What also works is if you say right i need this amount of time to revise, so i cant talk/see you but when my exams are over lets do something nice go for a meal/out for drinks etc. To get that time back together after its all back to normal.
Just tell him straight lovely, you can't be pussyfooting around them, you need to just tell them straight and if he goes in a mood with you then fine but he'll soon realise how stupid hes been and come running back anyway.
You'll be fine love, tell him straight, set up a schedule if need be and then when things get back to normal have a nice meal out to celebrate! xx
What also works is if you say right i need this amount of time to revise, so i cant talk/see you but when my exams are over lets do something nice go for a meal/out for drinks etc. To get that time back together after its all back to normal.
Just tell him straight lovely, you can't be pussyfooting around them, you need to just tell them straight and if he goes in a mood with you then fine but he'll soon realise how stupid hes been and come running back anyway.
You'll be fine love, tell him straight, set up a schedule if need be and then when things get back to normal have a nice meal out to celebrate! xx
Thank you so much, that's a great help x 💙
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