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The Life of Leviathan – Depression, Bullying, Fatigue and Other Obstacles

username2088165

Hello everyone, I hope you're all well! :h:

I have decided to start writing a blog, after being inspired to do so by another TSR user, @FireFreezer77!

The purpose of this is to describe my experiences with and raise awareness of a number of different issues, including autism/Asperger’s syndrome, depression, bullying, fatigue and anxiety, particularly relating to going out in public, especially to busy and/or noisy places. In addition, I will also include explanations of how I've tackled each one, and any other advice I can think of.

I’m planning to post on my blog approximately once or twice a week; however that may change sometimes depending on how busy I am, so I apologise in advance for that! My first proper post will be going up tomorrow!

I really hope you guys will enjoy reading my blog; I can’t wait to begin writing my first post! :biggrin:

Spoiler

(edited 6 years ago)

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Reply 1

username2088165

Asperger’s Syndrome (part 1)

As you may have gathered from my initial post, I have Asperger’s syndrome (AS). This is a condition on the autistic spectrum which primarily affects the way that people think, behave and perceive the world around them. Characteristics of AS include (but are by no means limited to!) repetitive behaviours, difficulty with social interaction, clumsiness, a dislike of change, and sensitivity to things such as lights and sounds. Put simply, Asperger’s is essentially just ‘a different way of thinking’. Asperger’s syndrome affects each person in a slightly different way, so no two ‘Aspies’, as people with Asperger’s are sometimes called, are the same.

I was first diagnosed with AS when I was around 12 years old. Even though I had felt a bit different to my peers throughout my entire life without knowing why, the diagnosis still came as a shock to me, and it took a while for the news to fully sink in. People can experience a wide variety of reactions after being diagnosed with AS, including relief, happiness, sadness, anger or even denial. Personally, I felt quite relieved, because I finally knew why I felt different to the people around me. On the other hand though, I was somewhat upset by the diagnosis, because I didn’t want to be different, and there is no cure for AS. I experienced mild depression for a while after my diagnosis, but once I researched exactly what AS was and how I could help myself to overcome some of the challenges it created, I realised it wasn’t actually as bad as I thought!

For me, my AS mainly causes problems with social interaction and sensory stimuli such as bright lights and loud noises. I have several issues when it comes to social interaction, for example, I struggle to make and maintain eye contact with whomever I am speaking to. I also have difficulty differentiating background noise, so I find it hard to hear people in noisy environments, such as a classroom with other people chatting, or a shop where music is being played. Additionally, I have a lot of trouble interpreting things such as facial expressions and body language. While these things come naturally to many people, the majority of Aspies, myself included, have difficulty understanding them. Bright lights and loud noises in particular cause problems for me, along with strong smells and vibrations (if I go to a concert for example).

Another prominent area where difficulties present themselves is with change. Change, especially when it is unexpected, is something that I used to struggle with a lot (I still dislike it, but I am better able to deal with it nowadays). Most, if not all, Aspies like to have routine, and doing things in a particular order is often a fundamental aspect of life. As well as having set routines, many Aspies also like to know what’s happening in advance, and greatly dislike surprises. I certainly don’t like them, I like to be able to plan and prepare for things beforehand!

I hope this post has given you at least some insight into Asperger’s syndrome. I personally believe that conditions such as Asperger’s aren’t understood as well as they should be, and I really want to change that with this blog. I will make another post about Asperger’s soon; as there are a few more things that I’d like to talk about (this post is longer than I'd intended already!).

Thank you all for reading! If you have any feedback for me, please let me know as I'd love to hear it! :h:

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Reply 2

SinsNotTragedies

@Leviathan1741
Do you find that you avoid doing some things altogether because of Asperger's?
Good post, it was a great insight. :h:

Reply 3

username2088165

Original post by SinsNotTragedies

@Leviathan1741
Do you find that you avoid doing some things altogether because of Asperger's?
Good post, it was a great insight. :h:

Hmm, I used to avoid doing things like going to town/shops etc because I hated the crowds, noise etc, but I've overcome that now! :biggrin:

Reply 4

SinsNotTragedies

Original post by Leviathan1741

Hmm, I used to avoid doing things like going to town/shops etc because I hated the crowds, noise etc, but I've overcome that now! :biggrin:

That's great, how did you manage to overcome it, and learn to face it as a part of everyday life? :smile:

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Reply 5

username2088165

Original post by SinsNotTragedies

That's great, how did you manage to overcome it, and learn to face it as a part of everyday life? :smile:

Spoiler

I've actually only overcome it in the last couple of weeks! I've had to go into town nearly every day to look for things to wear to a wedding I'm going to later this week, and after spending so much time consistently in shops, I've found that it isn't as bad as I thought it was! Rapid desensitisation basically :biggrin:

Reply 6

SinsNotTragedies

Original post by Leviathan1741

Ah, that is a good method. I've found that I have more confidence with speaking (used to be painfully shy) after pushing myself to do a few pieces of public speaking/speaking in front of the class. :tongue:

What do you study?

Reply 7

username2088165

Original post by SinsNotTragedies

What do you study?

That's great! I'm still absolutely hopeless at public speaking, I've never been able to do it without my mouth going so dry that my lips stick to my teeth from nerves! :rofl:

I am going to study BSc Geoscience this September, I am on a gap year currently :smile:

Reply 8

SinsNotTragedies

Original post by Leviathan1741

That's great! I'm still absolutely hopeless at public speaking, I've never been able to do it without my mouth going so dry that my lips stick to my teeth from nerves! :rofl:

I am going to study BSc Geoscience this September, I am on a gap year currently :smile:

I've had to condition myself to get better, my future career is based on it! :lol:

One thing that helps me is knowing that almost everyone is in a similar position, nerves are normal when you stand up to say something but what you choose to do with how you feel makes the difference. I once did a mock trial and I was extremely anxious, but I donned the wig and gown and lost it all, because it felt like I was a different person. I was reassured as to the normality of the situation when I realised others in the competition were also nervous. :tongue:

I then got praised on my performance and was so happy that I pushed myself, I gained from the situation. :woo:

What university, if you don't mind my asking? I'm doing A-levels atm. :biggrin:

Reply 9

username2088165

Original post by SinsNotTragedies

I've had to condition myself to get better, my future career is based on it! :lol:

I then got praised on my performance and was so happy that I pushed myself, I gained from the situation. :woo:

What university, if you don't mind my asking? I'm doing A-levels atm. :biggrin:

Well done!! I still have a long way to go yet before I get any better at public speaking, I get super nervous just practicing even with nobody in the room!

I will be going to Keele University! Which subjects are you doing at the moment? :smile:

Reply 10

SinsNotTragedies

Original post by Leviathan1741

You'll get the hang of it soon, you sound determined enough, sometimes skills just develop gradually and that's fine. :cute:

Good luck at university, are you excited? :biggrin:

I'm doing English lit, Politics and Law - heading off to uni this year!!! :nutcase:

(omg hopefully)

Reply 11

username2088165

Original post by SinsNotTragedies

You'll get the hang of it soon, you sound determined enough, sometimes skills just develop gradually and that's fine. :cute:

Good luck at university, are you excited? :biggrin:

I'm doing English lit, Politics and Law - heading off to uni this year!!! :nutcase:

(omg hopefully)

Thanks! I am very excited, I can't wait to make some new friends and join societies where I can hang out with students who like the same things as me!

Nice, good luck with your exams! :h:

Reply 12

SinsNotTragedies

Original post by Leviathan1741

Thanks! I am very excited, I can't wait to make some new friends and join societies where I can hang out with students who like the same things as me!

Nice, good luck with your exams! :h:

I'm excited for that aspect of university too! :biggrin:

Now, to get these pesky exams out of the way first. :unimpressed:

Thank you so much! :jumphug:

I look forward to your next blog post! :awesome:

Reply 13

username2088165

Original post by SinsNotTragedies

I'm excited for that aspect of university too! :biggrin:

Now, to get these pesky exams out of the way first. :unimpressed:

Thank you so much! :jumphug:

I look forward to your next blog post! :awesome:

I'm sure you'll manage them just fine! :h:

You're welcome! :hugs:

I will tag you in when I put up the next one :ahee:

Reply 14

username2387497

I have arrived!

Very good post! I myself do experince a lot of what youve mentioned throught the post!!
Therefore i can understand what youre going through!
Its incredibly tough and youve done very well to get through it all!
This is a very well written post (much better than mine) and i look forward to the next one!