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How do I tell him I want to re-attempt a relationship?

So there was this guy and we went out for a month and he was literally ideal boyfriend. We did loads of fun things together, he cared about my mental health and would try to help me with it, he cared about my school work and would often try and help me with it, we text every day and he was honestly just great.

However I have never been good at relationships due to previous issues from childhood etc (mostly to do with commitment and trust) and so it did not last long before I terminated it. He seemed upset about it however we both agreed we would just remain "friends with benefits" so we were both happy. But we still (a month or 2 later) do EVERYTHING we used to do when we were in a relationship, we still occasionally go out and do fun things, he still cares about my health and school work and still tries to help me with both, we still text each other every day and occasional call. And he had another girl on his snapchat the other day and I got furiously jealous which is then when I realised that I still have feelings for him. Although he did clear up that she was nobody and just a friend (without me asking about it).

I think he still cares about me and I THINK he may still like me but I'm kind of scared he may have moved on and everything he is doing is just him being a friend because he IS a genuinely nice person. When I did break up with him, I did make it clear that I was sleeping with other guys (he asked about it) and he seemed "okay" with it but I have recently stopped that because it wasn't really making me happy so now its just him. I'm not sure if he is sleeping with other girls but I did see his tinder account up. And we did break up he did comment a few days after about how he feels more "free" now altho I dont think I was ever clingy or possessive like he even asked me permission if he could hang out with another girl and I was like yeah why would you even need to ask if you guys are just friends etc and really chill about it (whilst we were in a relationship and it had only been a month).

I feel really silly saying "sorry I broke up with you can we try again" but I really do want to try again because I feel like I'm slowly sorting out my issues and stuff. I do really really like him and I think he likes me but I'm really scared he will be like sorry no and not want to be tied down. I don't even know how to bring up the subject :/ And what if he thinks I'm icky now because I've slept with other guys etc I really don't want to get rejected but I really want to re-attempt a relationship and try and work through the issues I may have instead of avoiding it altogether.
Ask him out and see what he says.
Reply 2
bump
Reply 3
:sad:
Well, the basic answer has already been given.

If he is fussed about you having slept with other people, it sounds as though he has, so it'd be somewhat hypocritical.
Original post by Anonymous
So there was this guy and we went out for a month and he was literally ideal boyfriend. We did loads of fun things together, he cared about my mental health and would try to help me with it, he cared about my school work and would often try and help me with it, we text every day and he was honestly just great.

However I have never been good at relationships due to previous issues from childhood etc (mostly to do with commitment and trust) and so it did not last long before I terminated it. He seemed upset about it however we both agreed we would just remain "friends with benefits" so we were both happy. But we still (a month or 2 later) do EVERYTHING we used to do when we were in a relationship, we still occasionally go out and do fun things, he still cares about my health and school work and still tries to help me with both, we still text each other every day and occasional call. And he had another girl on his snapchat the other day and I got furiously jealous which is then when I realised that I still have feelings for him. Although he did clear up that she was nobody and just a friend (without me asking about it).

I think he still cares about me and I THINK he may still like me but I'm kind of scared he may have moved on and everything he is doing is just him being a friend because he IS a genuinely nice person. When I did break up with him, I did make it clear that I was sleeping with other guys (he asked about it) and he seemed "okay" with it but I have recently stopped that because it wasn't really making me happy so now its just him. I'm not sure if he is sleeping with other girls but I did see his tinder account up. And we did break up he did comment a few days after about how he feels more "free" now altho I dont think I was ever clingy or possessive like he even asked me permission if he could hang out with another girl and I was like yeah why would you even need to ask if you guys are just friends etc and really chill about it (whilst we were in a relationship and it had only been a month).

I feel really silly saying "sorry I broke up with you can we try again" but I really do want to try again because I feel like I'm slowly sorting out my issues and stuff. I do really really like him and I think he likes me but I'm really scared he will be like sorry no and not want to be tied down. I don't even know how to bring up the subject :/ And what if he thinks I'm icky now because I've slept with other guys etc I really don't want to get rejected but I really want to re-attempt a relationship and try and work through the issues I may have instead of avoiding it altogether.


Just ask him rather than dwelling on it, you clearly like him.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
bump


You could talk and reminisce about the past when you were together and say you miss being with him and see how he reacts.
Although I feel you should work on your issues before asking him to be with you again you don't want to mess him around.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 7
Original post by chikane
You could talk and reminisce about the past when you were together and say you miss being with him and see how he reacts.
Although I feel you should work on your issues before asking him to be with you again you don't want to mess him around.


The thing is there is no past or anything to miss because we literally do everything we did when we were together. Its just the labels and commitment....

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