My friend failed because of me, am I a bad person?

I think actively persuading someone to go to a party when they say they want to stay and do their coursework is the marks of a bad friend? How is it not?

huh?

when did OP say that they persuaded their friend to go to the party????

Reply 21

Twinpeaks

18

Original post by thefatone

huh?

when did OP say that they persuaded their friend to go to the party????

The thread is only two pages long?

Direct quote from OP- At one point he said he wasn't going to go. But I kept bringing it up saying "you might as well go to mentally prepare yourself for the coursework". So I hadn't physically forced him to go but I had kept reiterating that he should join us.

Reply 22

thefatone

6

Original post by Twinpeaks

The thread is only two pages long?

Direct quote from OP- At one point he said he wasn't going to go. But I kept bringing it up saying "you might as well go to mentally prepare yourself for the coursework". So I hadn't physically forced him to go but I had kept reiterating that he should join us.

oops i misread.... in which case my comments have changed to total polar opposite....
adding fuel to the fire......

Reply 23

FloralEssence

10

To be honest, yes you are: knowing that someone is trying to get their work done and states that he is not going but you still peer pressure him to go just because you had finished, is quite mean in my eyes and selfish too.

But on the other hand, it's the guy's fault for succumbing and not resisting- what idiot goes out knowing that they're at university and the deadline is coming?

It’s like having an exam in the morning and then deciding to stay in bed for an extra 30 minutes and later failing your exam. Now, would you blame the bed for being so comfortable and encouraging you to stay, or would you blame the individual for not getting up?

percentage-wise- you are: 35% responsible, leaving him with the greatest blame, in which case, you can feel better about yourself.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 24

999tigger

19

Not sure about 49% and its his choice, but its hardly helpful. A friend would see their proper interests which would be to hand the coursework in and remind them of that. The OP didnt. Mystifies me how the other person was able to make qa calculation to go and then not have the time to finish. Baffling, unless they had alcohol poisoning for days.

Reply 25

Anonymous #1

OP

Well my friend doesn't seem to be mad at me. We talked like normal these last 2 days.

But deep down I know I should have done more as a friend to help them focus on their coursework... I honestly thought at the time that 2 days was enough time to finish their coursework.

I'm just so guilty now that my friend probably won't end up in the same graduation ceremony as me now. :frown:

Reply 26

Twinpeaks

18

Original post by 999tigger

Not sure about 49% and its his choice, but its hardly helpful. A friend would see their proper interests which would be to hand the coursework in and remind them of that. The OP didnt. Mystifies me how the other person was able to make qa calculation to go and then not have the time to finish. Baffling, unless they had alcohol poisoning for days.

I swear you used to make really idiotic posts but now you're always the voice of reason? Unless I have you confused with someone else!

Reply 27

999tigger

19

Original post by Twinpeaks

I swear you used to make really idiotic posts but now you're always the voice of reason? Unless I have you confused with someone else!

why would I make idiotic posts? Whilst not infallible. You may be confused. Ive not been here that long. You can ofc prove me wrong. On that point I hope you managed to speak to saffron and persuade her to speak to someone. You cna read her previous threads to get an idea of the issue.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 28

Exceptional

21

I thought it was conventional to party after everyone finishes their assessments, rather than celebrating before the finish?

his own fault

Original post by 999tigger

why would I make idiotic posts? Whilst not infallible. You may be confused. Ive not been here that long. You can ofc prove me wrong. On that point I hope you managed to speak to saffron and persuade her to speak to someone. You cna read her previous threads to get an idea of the issue.

Maybe! I think your name might have resembled another. I did, I tried to persuade her to see a GP and get referred for counselling but she has this set idea on seeing her teacher instead, but I don't think they can provide the support she needs. It's a shame there's not someone back home for her to persuade her in to going to her GP.

Reply 31

Hann95

11

In short, he's an adult and entirely responsible for his own choices and actions. He is responsible for not starting his coursework earlier. He is responsible for going to the party. He is responsible for not finishing.

Reply 32

hezzlington

20

Original post by Anonymous

About 3 days before coursework deadline submission there was a student party near the uni. My friend and a few others were all invited to it. I had finished my coursework by then but my friend hadn't even started. My friend wanted to go but was in two minds about going to the party rather than do the coursework.

As a friend I feel that I should have stopped him from going to focus on the coursework but instead i had encouraged him to go to the party so he went

He couldn't finish the coursework on time and he failed. Now I feel this is my fault as he won't graduate with me.

Am I a bad person?

I need friends like you.

My friend failed because of me, am I a bad person?

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