Daddy issues :(

mum is not religious at all, she thoroughly keeps out of it... its so hypocritical though, because he says he would not allow me to marry a non-muslim, even though he did :/ (Yep, the Koran allows men to do that but not women)

Please help

My dad and I have had a strained relationship since I hit 15 (now 20). It's basically because he is Muslim (very moderate though, has lived in UK all his life and my mum is white/french/nonreligious). He thinks i am muslim but I am not. He doesn't expect me to wear hijab or pray etc, but does impose other rules on me (no drinking, no boyfriends, dress modestly, obey him and speak to him deferentially)

I am now at university and living a completely 'british' life, if you get me. (No, I am NOT a 'slut', before anyone makes comments). This is working okay because I go to uni in scotland and he is all the way back in the south of england, and im careful about what goes on the internet

The thing is I feel like I'm suffocating every time I lie to him. Maybe the guilt is because he loves me so much and has such a warped, optimistic view of me. I have 2 brothers who are similar in age to me who he treats very differently to me. Obviously, he doesnt make them dress modestly. He recently didnt talk to me for a few weeks because he was angry that i showed my shoulders. My brothers also live british lives, but dont have to hide it like i do. My dad even jokes to my younger brother (18 years old) about him getting a girlfriend, whereas if i so much as look at a man on the TV, i can feel his awkward stare. My dad expects me to just study all the time and not have a life....

I dont really know what answer I am looking for, just support really I think everyday about 'coming out' as a non muslim but I know it would absolutely crush him and he'd think he's a failed parent. But i hate having to live a double life and lie all the time, its really depressing me

In my opinion, you don't need to come out with this big speech about how you are not Muslim so shouldnt live by those rules, but if you have a boyfriend just bring it into conversation.

Why hide it? you are an adult. You are responsible for yourself and are also educated enough to make your own decisions.

Religion or not he is your dad first.

If you want to go out wearing a short dress, feel free to post it on facebook (if you want to). Seriously, I get where you are coming from but don't be afraid to be you, that's just ridiculous. It may take some adjusting for him but put yourself and your happiness first. Please

mum is not religious at all, she thoroughly keeps out of it... its so hypocritical though, because he says he would not allow me to marry a non-muslim, even though he did :/ (Yep, the Koran allows men to do that but not women)

even the thought of telling him i have a boyfriend terrifies me, and scares me off ever having one to be honest its a mixture of being scared of the consequences (him throwing me out of the house or hitting me maybe, im not sure) but also being sad about disappointing him. I do love him and when we get along he is so great, but i always have a voice in the back of my head saying 'he wouldnt love you if he knew the real you'. like im not sure if he loves me unconditionally.....

theres so many threads on muslims I honestly cant tell which are trolls or not now

He doesn't own you. Do what you want. Find a job in Scotland and cut the ties.

He sounds absolutely evil.

I am so sorry that you feel this way, I truly am. I can relate to the voice in the back of your head, I've experienced that before. The way to get over a fear is to face it,
I know that that is terrifying for you so do it in your own time. There is no rush so just keep your cool head on and there will come a time where you know exactly what you want to do. Which may include cutting your ties from him. I think maybe you need to find yourself first without him before you consider telling him anything, or showing him a liberal British approach to life you have adopted if you don't really know what that is yet and what you want yet.

Enjoy the good times you have with him AND your friends Maybe take on the 'time and a place' approach for your own sanity Basically, you are a daddy's girl and you love him lots and work hard (which are great qualities!) and you also can socialise with people you like, enjoy yourself and use it as a stress release.

BTW him hitting you is not ok, in any faith for any reason (other than self defence) which is clearly not the case here so keep safe

loool everytime a shirtless guy comes on tv i have to become very interested in the wallpaper

Or the floor, or the ceiling, or whatever isn't the TV XD

I feel my skin start to burn if I stare too long at the TV and my parents are there.

theres so many threads on muslims I honestly cant tell which are trolls or not now

thanks, this actually really helped...i think i agree with you but its useful to have someone else say it, bc as you say i don't always have a 'cool head' on this issue haha x

ps he hasnt hit me since i was a child (ordinary smacks, not abusive)...its just i think it might be a possibility bc he does get angry v easily

It's more difficult to take this seriously with all the connotations around the word "daddy".

trustt

i have brothers who love to watch wwe so it gets awkward cuz the guys never have their shirts on.....i can only enjoy it until my mom walks in

did u ask your mates about the bj question lololol

how can people say islam has no place in britain
islam has brought a massive intellect to the uk
from the inception of math and physic
islam has brought hatred and destuction to the uk
they are animals
why are they like that?