Is it weird to want to wait until marriage to have sex?

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Personally, I would wait. I want my first time to be special and with someone I know I'm going to spend the rest of my life with :smile:

don't want to look back at any guys and cringe because I had sex with them get it :smile:

Reply 101

Miss Maddie

No. It means you value your vagina and don't just see it as some sort of play thing to give away when drunk to a guy who wants to enter you.

Reply 102

xHazalx

Original post by Anonymous

Hi so basically just what the title says, I'm a bit worried that I'll be unable to have a serious relationship because a lot of guys don't want to wait so long for sex :/ so is it weird? Should I just give up on it?

Honestly DO NOT let someone else determine what you want. If your boyfriend is pressuring you in to sex or else hell break up with you, then tell him to f**** ***

Seriously if the guy youre with is pressuring you does he really respect you?

Reply 103

ib_hopeful

Not weird at all! I would respect my partner if they decided to wait. I think most people would..

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 104

Anonymous #7

lol I would be out of there sooo fast.

Sex is a massive part of a relationship. If 2 people are incompatible sexually and they don't find out till they're married then that will just breed an unhappy marriage.

Obviously you will be able to find people who share the same views but your dating pool is severely limited. I think this thread actually has a lot of outliers regarding people who'd wait till marriage for sex. 90% of people will not wait for marriage to have sex

Reply 105

loveleest

It's not weird! a lot of people do it for religious reasons.

Reply 106

luisajones

Original post by Anonymous

It's not weird at all, I also want to wait until marriage. I think it's an important test on any relationship. If he/she isn't ready to wait, then is he/she the right person for you?

Reply 107

SmileyVibe

No. You should never feel pressure to have sex with someone because you're in a relationship with them.

And its a great way to tell if someone genuinely cares for you instead of having sex with you and dumping after! :tongue:

For me, I would never put sex on the table if I got into a relationship. If the guy doesn't want to stick around cuz you don't put out then it is not worth it. Never change your beliefs to keep a guy around.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 108

_icecream

No not weird at all, I'm 24 and I'm a virgin

Reply 109

Kallisto

Entertainment Forum Helper

Original post by Anonymous

It is a matter of the attitude of your own: do you want to wait for sex till you are married with your wife? or do you want to have sex experience before? I would not blame your sex behaviour, no matter what your decision is. Don't sweat what other people think about that. Make a decision for yourself, not for the others!

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 110

troubadour.

Original post by Anonymous

As much I respect your views, I just hope you look at it logically and rationally with most cases and what the consequences can be. Then give your honest opinion.

I have looked at it logically and rationally to come to reach my current position. :tongue:

Contrary to what you've assumed, I come from a socially conservative background where premarital sex is heavily discouraged, so this really isn't a case of social conditioning.

It's on you to explain to me why I should switch to your position. (To be clear, I'm not saying that people should definitely have premarital sex -- I'm essentially pro-choice about this. If somebody wishes to wait until after marriage, I'm not going to try to pressure them into doing it before marriage.) I don't think

I really do not understand how you think it is ok to just have relationships with many people and not commit to one at all.

I haven't said that at all, and as I've pointed out before, you seem to assume that all premarital sex is accounted for by one night stands. This isn't the case, and I'd hazard a guess that most premarital sex is had in committed relationships. One doesn't have to be married to be committed.

Down the line you will be left torn apart unless you really don't give a dam about your life or to have one person with you. If that is the case all good for you as this is not relevant to you then.

I find that's only the case with people that fetishise sex and objectify their virginities to absurd degrees. Most people in free societies are grown up enough not to do so.

I also don't think it's proper to write off people who aren't inclined to be in relationships as people who 'don't give a dam about your [their] life.'

I am not saying this just for sake of my opinion, because if that was the case tbh i would be the first in a relationship before marriage. But I look at it in a logic and most valuable manner.

I have seen many girls torn apart due relationships that like for a month or 2 and then break up and then another starts. As I havse seen them lose interest in relationships with time and they feel that they have felt soo attached to the person that they even hate themselves as it did not turn out right after months of being together.

Yes, that's all very sad, but it doesn't logically follow that the bad experiences of a few girls you know is reason to restrict other people's right to enter into consensual sexual relations.

Now for me it is important to choose carefully and someone who will from start accept commitment to you. Anf if you see the person and does not work out then fine...move on but the intimacy and worse sex can leave one torn apart as they will most likely not able to move on as they will become attached to the person.

To the contrary, most people do manage to move on, though obviously a long-term relationship tends to be harder to move on from than a shorter one (and that's true of unsuccessful marriages too). It really isn't an argument to say that people should be prevented from having consensual sexual relations to spare a minority of people (who have the choice to be abstinent prior to marriage, by the way -- I'm not arguing the case for a society where people must have premarital sex, but one where they are free to do so if they wish) the trouble of dealing with grief in a grown up way.

Now that is for a girl most of the time...i am not sure about a guy as maybe most guys dont come into a relationship even thinking about commitment etc as serious as most girls.

Not sure this gender stereotyping is entirely accurate. :holmes:

My point is relationships should not be used to have sex and intimacy with another and then leave them the next minute. With kissing i am sorry but thag is intimacy and so will lead to another most probably one day or another.

I think you're using the word 'relationship' in a different sense to what it usually means in this context if you think that that's what the goal of the average relationship is.

Look at reality. I hope i have not upset you or offended. This is not my aim. I just like to get this thinking across although i have not properly lol bit oh well :smile:

Oh, don't worry -- it takes a lot to offend me. :biggrin:

I am looking at reality; I've just reached a different conclusion. :dontknow:

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 111

Josb

Original post by Anonymous

My point is relationships should not be used to have sex and intimacy with another and then leave them the next minute.

You're confusing relationships and one-night-stands.

Reply 112

Ceriidwen

It's not weird, in fact I'd say it is just uncommon this day and age.

Reply 113

>Username<

Original post by Anonymous

It's not weird. :smile:

One thing I've realised is... Sex isn't something that is talked about. So those who lose their virginity when they're 14/15 / sleep with a lot of people / they don't really care who knows what about them within reason...These are the sorts of people who will talk about sex.

So, this is all we see. If I asked you, who is a virgin within your friendship circle / class / work environment? Could you tell me? Probably not...

I think the only reason why it's perceived to be a big deal is because we're surrounded by one mentality all the time.

You do whatever you think is best. If the guy you're with doesn't understand that, then he doesn't understand you and just leave him - it's not worth it. If this is something you want to do then that is fine. :smile:

Reply 114

SophiMai

Original post by Anonymous

It's all about personal opinion/views. If you "don't want to do that thing until you get that ring", then stick by your morals👍🏽

Reply 115

Elida

It's your decision, no one else's. If the guy is decent he'll respect that, and want you for you, not your body.

Reply 116

Anonymous #8

I honestly think if i was to meet a female at my age (20) and she had never had intercourse before, i would want to marry her, it would make me feel so much better knowing only i've had her.

Reply 117

Maker

Most people wait until after marriage to stop having sex.

Reply 118

fatiana

It's not weird. It's a good thing

Reply 119

Infraspecies

It's fairly common, in principle. I'm not so sure in practice, and I don't consider it necessarily a good thing, but my opinion is surely irrelevant.

It seems fairly arbitrary, to someone who doesn't consider marriage to have much significance outside of the constraints of law. To my eyes, it is a certification of commitment (which is important), but I don't think you can rightly see if you're going to be able to commit to someone if you don't know whether you're sexually compatible. Religion's great strength is in making things taboo, such as premarital sex. It makes one feel dirty for wanting to have experience in sex before committing, on paper, your whole life to someone. I don't see that that is sensible, and it makes for a lot of unhappy people in the long run.
I'm also surprised by the notion that being married to someone is protection from someone having sex with you and then leaving you. It doesn't prevent this, divorce and estrangement is common. It just makes it legally and financially more complicated, and emotionally more debilitating.
Beyond all, the air of maturity that adherents try to generate about premarital abstinence annoys me. There is nothing mature about enforced ignorance before running into a life-long commitment. The opposite, in fact. There is nothing "pure" or "righteous" in denying the wishes of your body, and also it doesn't make one an uncontrolled animal to do things that make you feel good. A healthy sex life and participating in things we enjoy is generally correlated with a longer and healthier life. Living with these sorts of notions that religion generate is just another way that you allow institutions control over you, and religion is more insidious than most, due to the way we embrace it.

Do as you feel comfortable, however.