People who "fall in love" easily and quickly

that sounds like me tbh, i catch feelings waaaay to easily and can fall for a guy in an instant and can easily love them. but not the bit where i burn through guys and break up with them cold heartedly.

Reply 21

username1726117

14

Original post by Anonymous

I have wondered whether her leaving me was due to me, or due to her being in a new environment away from hme for the first time, full of good looking people, and beset by low self-esteem, a need to fit in etc. hence latching on to someone new. What do you think?

I would say with 100% conviction that her choices are nothing to do with you, at all.

It is clear to me she's a woman who doesn't know what she wants, is incapable of forming long-term relationships, or is simply "playing the field". Whilst I am not judgmental of people who have many partners, given her age and behavior it would indicate to me that she simply does not want or is unable to form a more intimate bond with someone else. Uni will have played a part because it would presented her with more options, but at the end of the day if this is a repeated pattern for her then it was only a matter of time regardless of whether or not she went to uni.

As much as it will hurt, I would suggest cutting her loose. No contact from here on out. Do not respond to breadcrumbs (IE. Small talk, hints of getting back together etc) and continue to work on yourself and be the best person you can be. You claim you are level-headed, so I know that you know this is the right thing to do. There will be plenty more girls out there wanting something more meaningful with you, my friend.

Reply 22

DanteTheDoorKnob

5

Original post by Anonymous

I have wondered whether her leaving me was due to me, or due to her being in a new environment away from hme for the first time, full of good looking people, and beset by low self-esteem, a need to fit in etc. hence latching on to someone new. What do you think?

I think you can rationalise anything, but at some point she has to accept responsibility for being a horrible person.

Reply 23

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by mkap

that sounds like me tbh, i catch feelings waaaay to easily and can fall for a guy in an instant and can easily love them. but not the bit where i burn through guys and break up with them cold heartedly.

I think many people are prone to infatuation, particularly at our young age.

What got to me was the transition from how EXTREME her feelings seemed to be - "you're the perfect guy", "I've never loved anyone as i love you", "If I was to get pregnant an abortion would be really difficult, "I feel as though I've met my soulmate; I want to spend the rest of my life with you" etc ad infinitum - to seemingly nothing within 3 weeks. I mean with the exception of bursting into tears when we broke up, she didn't seem to give 2 sh*ts, and was seemingly really into this other guy.

Reply 24

mkap

20

Original post by Anonymous

I think many people are prone to infatuation, particularly at our young age.

What got to me was the transition from how EXTREME her feelings seemed to be - "you're the perfect guy", "I've never loved anyone as i love you", "If I was to get pregnant an abortion would be really difficult, "I feel as though I've met my soulmate; I want to spend the rest of my life with you" etc ad infinitum - to seemingly nothing within 3 weeks. I mean with the exception of bursting into tears when we broke up, she didn't seem to give 2 sh*ts, and was seemingly really into this other guy.

hm let it all out dude.

Reply 25

Anonymous #1

OP

The one thing that plays on my mind is this - we were quite different in many ways - interests etc. - and she was initially not overly interested in anything besides looks/the fact that I'm older. However, as the relaitonship progressed, she felt able to open up to me about things she had never spoken to others about i.e. cheating, promiscuity, her parents' divorce, her eating disorder etc. So I think besides validation, I also became an emotional crutch - I like to think that I have always been quite good at inspiring trust and forming emotional connections with people - hence my decision to go into medicine - which is partly why I claim to be level headed.

This is certainly a repeating pattern. However, the guy before me, whom she claims not to have felt so strongly for was even more disimiliar to her, yet they kept a relationship going for 2 years at a 6 hour driving distance. With me, she gave up so quickly - with her going to uni being the only variable.

The guy she is with now is basically her carbon copy in terms of interests etc. and is also superior to me in terms of looks etc. She claims not to trust him, yet I wonder whether she will stick with him, and not repeat the pattern due to their proximity, shared friendship group and greater similarity? Thus perhaps it does reflect upon me?

Reply 26

DanteTheDoorKnob

5

Original post by Anonymous

The one thing that plays on my mind is this - we were quite different in many ways - interests etc. - and she was initially not overly interested in anything besides looks/the fact that I'm older. However, as the relaitonship progressed, she felt able to open up to me about things she had never spoken to others about i.e. cheating, promiscuity, her parents' divorce, her eating disorder etc. So I think besides validation, I also

You sure?

I don't think you are special. This type of woman is not like that.

Reply 27

username1726117

14

Original post by Anonymous

The one thing that plays on my mind is this - we were quite different in many ways - interests etc. - and she was initially not overly interested in anything besides looks/the fact that I'm older. However, as the relaitonship progressed, she felt able to open up to me about things she had never spoken to others about i.e. cheating, promiscuity, her parents' divorce, her eating disorder etc. So I think besides validation, I also became an emotional crutch - I like to think that I have always been quite good at inspiring trust and forming emotional connections with people - hence my decision to go into medicine - which is partly why I claim to be level headed.

This is certainly a repeating pattern. However, the guy before me, whom she claims not to have felt so strongly for was even more disimiliar to her, yet they kept a relationship going for 2 years at a 6 hour driving distance. With me, she gave up so quickly - with her going to uni being the only variable.

The guy she is with now is basically her carbon copy in terms of interests etc. and is also superior to me in terms of looks etc. She claims not to trust him, yet I wonder whether she will stick with him, and not repeat the pattern due to their proximity, shared friendship group and greater similarity? Thus perhaps it does reflect upon me?

If she claims not to trust him, then the relationship isn't going to last.

At the end of the day, it takes two to tango in a relationship; if the relationship fails, both parties hold responsibility for how things played out between them. She may have trusted you with such information, and yes you may be someone who others can easily form a connection with, but that doesn't stop her from wanting to explore other options, especially if she does indeed suffer from some sort of commitment issue.

It doesn't really matter if you guys were different from each-other, the last guy was even more different or the new guy can relate more to her; she doesn't want to be with you, and as far as I am concerned you have dodged a bullet. New guy #1 will be replaced with New Guy #2 and so on and so forth until eventually she decides to grow up (if this is a maturity thing) or seek help (if this is a behavioral problem). It's her loss that she's given up on someone as caring, mature and intelligent as you; if nothing else, take this into account moving forward as it will give you the confidence needed to seek out a more fulfilling partnership.