Heartbroken by a girl that does not even exist anymore.

How much can a person physically change in a "few months"

Me and my ex broke up 3 months ago. We had a relationship over a few months, I loved her, a lot. Ultimately, she was uncomfortable with being older than me. She turned 30 yesterday. I turned 25 the day before. I really enjoyed my time with her, I was very passionate about her but it always seemed like she was more into the physical side of things and she ran away as soon as there was going to be commitment. She just left one day and cut me out... it was just the manner in which she gave no warning at all and just left me one day.

I have not had contact with her in months. I saw her yesterday and she looked completely different, it is like she decided to completely change the way she looked because she turned 30. She wanted to talk, but I basically said I had other things to do. I know that she is settling down with another guy, she wants to commit with him. I have accepted that but I am just so hurt.

I just feel very scarred mentally. I can't get my head around that the old her from a few months back just does not exist anymore and that I don't even feel physically attracted to her anymore. I am in love with someone that doesn't even exist. It's ****ed up, its surreal.

It's been 3 months, I am still in depression every day. I don't feel in love with her anymore mentally or physically, in fact I feel nothing but anger. I just feel so broken down by it all. My libido is non existent anymore, I can't even concentrate on watching a film.

She has changed her makeup, changed her hair, got fatter.

She looks a lot different.

Sorry if it sounds shallow, she is a different person to the girl I loved. Her perspective, how she looks, everything is different now.

That sucks man.. I would have thought that makes it easier although have not experienced it to know. Is it possibly an ego think where you feel rejected because she has moved on so quickly and changed so quickly?

She has changed her makeup, changed her hair, got fatter.

She looks a lot different.

Sorry if it sounds shallow, she is a different person to the girl I loved. Her perspective, how she looks, everything is different now.

Is this the same FWB girl?

Yes. I ****ed up, I cheated on my long term girlfriend of five years for an older girl that I loved.

I don't deny that the pain I caused my former girlfriend is probably falling to me in some divine justice.

Is she happy though? If you are as detached as you say then you wouldnt be angry and you could have had a chat to find out why she left you.

She is happy. This guy could be the one for her, who knows. She always went on about "the one". All through her adult life she has got into relationships then ran away, I don't think she truly cares about anyone else apart from how us guys make her feel about herself.

That is karma for you mate

Try your best to forget about her, she's moved on, so should you.

Good luck

You need to move on though. She obviously had her reasons, but didnt leave in a good way a Dear John would have been better or face to face. Its only 3 months and your relationship was only a few months. Not long just get on with life. She might eb ready to settle down and have a child and perhaps she didnt feel you were ready. Takes a long time to really get to know someone.

Yet the new guy she is with is suddenly the saviour and she changes herself to the stereotypical housewife and mother in what really is 5 minutes. Just because she has turned 30.

I think it was because she felt insecure about her age and that I made her feel like she still had it. When she had enough she obviously did not want to know anymore.

Yeah, she was beautiful just the way she was. I just don't understand how someone can change so much in such a short space of time. Both in how she treated me and how she wanted to change her looks. She also seems very close to this guy... that rejection hurts a lot. I just always wonder what possesses someone to declare their love one minute with all of the conviction in the world... then leave suddenly and feel that way with another guy?

It's all been very confusing.

Tbh you dont really know. Its her choice. Perhaps she wnats to be a housewife and mother rather than someone who had it? You just need to move on it will get better in time.