I'm 19. I'm gay. I live in a (seemingly) tolerant house with my parents and 3 siblings. One of those siblings came out as trans last year and caused a rift between themselves and my dad and I don't want to come out as gay because it might risk my relationship with my dad.
I don't speak about my feelings, to anyone. I have major trust issues and I don't speak about it, I don't feel like I can, this is why this post is anonymous but my inability to speak has lead to me getting depression. It's not diagnosed as I don't want to go to my doctor but it's there and it's lead me to feel suicidal.
I understand that I can speak to my doctor in complete confidence that anything I say is completely confidential but it's not speaking to someone that is the problem, it's the act of saying these things. Things that I've kept to myself for 19 years.
As they say, little things help. Even though I can't post this publicly as myself. I've still put a little bit of my emotion on public display and it might be helpful for me overcoming this.