The Student Room Group

Baldness

Reading the other thread about women being shallower than men. I can say for a fact that it is 100% true that women are shallowe beased on my own experiences. When my hsir started thinning, female attention stopped for me. On dating sites i can post a pic with hair and one without...i immediately get matches and friendly replies to messages of me with hair and just nothing at all from the ones with a shaved head. I'm considering medication to regrow some hair but it's actually risky and not very healthy for a man to do because baldness is caused by tesostsrone and this blocks it a bit (DHT).

But yeah guys, keep your hair if you want to find a 'nice' woman cos girls can be bitches without. Now i'm the 'creepy' guy.

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Reply 1
I wouldn't call it shallow, it's just that females in every evolved species are far more picky than males, this is how sexual selection works and how species improve genetically. What is annoying is how few women realize it or admit to it.
Reply 2
Original post by Erebor
I wouldn't call it shallow, it's just that females in every evolved species are far more picky than males, this is how sexual selection works and how species improve genetically. What is annoying is how few women realize it or admit to it.


I'd say it's shallow...in the sense that the general friendliness even day to day is much different when you go bald. Women treat you in a completely different way and definitely attraction wise. And baldness is just as genetic as having blue eyes. It's not even unhealthy, but society and media says that hair on men is attractive and women and very influenced. A 'good looking' guy can get away with whatever really but once you lose your hair then if you put a step out of line then women will try and label and control you by calling you creepy etc. It's just life but no way is it not shallow.

And yeah you're right...women won't admit they are more shallow. Or very few. Ask a woman what she finds attractive and she will try and make herself sound good by saying 'sense of humour, nice personality, sweet, knows what he wants etc etc'... they don't tell you things like nice hair are usually prerequisites.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 3
idk hair is just cute haha

on a srs note my cousin has really bad alopecia and just has small patches of hair on his head, its almost gone but he can pull it off.
This may or may not be true but the fact of the matter is that it's down to you to deal with it. Both genders have the capacity to be horribly shallow, whether one is more than the other is probably neither here nor there.

Remember Tinder and the like are massive women's markets so they can afford to go for what they deem perfection on the information they have to hand (primarily looks). Also, they cannot represent the entirety of your dateable qualities as meeting face to face would. With this in mind, I would advise you to be extremely patient with dating apps or avoid them entirely. If you persevere with them do use pictures of your current hairstyle.

I went bald in my teens. I'm 25 now and just shave it every week or so. I'll never be looked at as a pretty boy, I know that - my celebrity lookalikes will never feature in women's instagram/twitter fantasy pics - but I can use other qualities to put myself across. Summer is a great time to be bald as you tan quicker (I tan as soon as the sun comes out in the UK), you look the business in sunglasses and more of your (potential) gym bod is on show (I don't have one as I need to be fairly light for the sport I practise). Well-kept baldness can be seen as a sign of dominance and appeal to the subconscious in women as opposed to immediate "handsomeness" that'll appeal to the conscious.

In short, no need to lose heart. Either treat or shave fully. No halfway. Show you're prepared to make a decision and stick to it.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 5
Original post by mkap
idk hair is just cute haha


funny until you're a guy and every girl your age says the same thing about it being 'cute'. What you mean in actual fact is that it's generally something you need in order to consider having sex with a man. Which isn't so cute.
Reply 6
Original post by rockrunride
This may or may not be true but the fact of the matter is that it's down to you to deal with it. Both genders have the capacity to be horribly shallow, whether one is more than the other is probably neither here nor there.

Remember Tinder and the like are massive women's markets so they can afford to go for what they deem perfection on the information they have to hand (primarily looks). Also, they cannot represent the entirety of your dateable qualities as meeting face to face would. With this in mind, I would advise you to be extremely patient with dating apps or avoid them entirely. If you persevere with them do use pictures of your current hairstyle.

I went bald in my teens. I'm 25 now and just shave it every week or so. I'll never be looked at as a pretty boy, I know that - my celebrity lookalikes will never feature in women's instagram/twitter fantasy pics - but I can use other qualities to put myself across. Summer is a great time to be bald as you tan quicker (I tan as soon as the sun comes out in the UK), you look the business in sunglasses and more of your (potential) gym bod is on show (I don't have one as I need to be fairly light for the sport I practise). Well-kept baldness can be seen as a sign of dominance and appeal to the subconscious in women as opposed to immediate "handsomeness" that'll appeal to the conscious.

In short, no need to lose heart. Either treat or shave fully. No halfway. Show you're prepared to make a decision and stick to it.


I do agree that it's how you deal with it. Just don't put a photo on tinder or plenty of fish of you with hair and then without. It can't help but make you bitter. bI shave my head but get the whole 'thug' thing all the time which is again annoying and just an example of how stupid/shallow society in general is.

But i disagree about the genders being equally shallow. Take the threads on here...i read some with a girl asking if guys can like girls with small tits etc...the guys were very understanding, many said they preferred it or didn't care if the girl had a nice personality etc etc. Then there are threads here where guys ask girls if baldness is a turn off because they're insecure about it thinning - there are girls replying 'ewwww'. I mean...says it all. Pretty heartless, but that is the reality of most women. And I say most because I've experienced it first hand having lost my hair quickly. Like even on here, the first reply 'i dunno hair is cute'..imagine if a guy went on that other thread and said something like 'i dunno big tits are just kinda cute hehe'
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 7
Original post by Jd_uk
funny until you're a guy and every girl your age says the same thing about it being 'cute'. What you mean in actual fact is that it's generally something you need in order to consider having sex with a man. Which isn't so cute.


https://www.quora.com/What-do-women-think-about-bald-or-shaved-head-guys

i guess having hair represents youth and good health.
Reply 8
Original post by mkap
https://www.quora.com/What-do-women-think-about-bald-or-shaved-head-guys

i guess having hair represents youth and good health.


So are you suggesting that I'm less healthy despite for having normal, genetic balding? I'm actually fitter than the vast majority of guys. Baldness is influenced both by testosterone and genetics. It 'represents' it because you think it represents it.
Original post by Jd_uk
I do agree that it's how you deal with it. Just don't put a photo on tinder or plenty of fish of you with hair and then without. It can't help but make you bitter. bI shave my head but get the whole 'thug' thing all the time which is again annoying and just an example of how stupid/shallow society in general is.


I also firmly belief that the way you project yourself will work wonders. Full baldness in a young looking man is an inherent manifestation of panache. A daring remedy in the face of mild adversity. Combine this with the aesthetic advantages you do have (as I've listed above) and work on your clothes, and you're on to a winner. Just remember. Don't get yourself down. Women are put off more by that than baldness.
Reply 10
Original post by rockrunride
I also firmly belief that the way you project yourself will work wonders. Full baldness in a young looking man is an inherent manifestation of panache. A daring remedy in the face of mild adversity. Combine this with the aesthetic advantages you do have (as I've listed above) and work on your clothes, and you're on to a winner. Just remember. Don't get yourself down. Women are put off more by that than baldness.


Appreciate the advice. How did it affect you with women and otherwise? What age did you go bald? And did you bother using dating sites when you went bald?

This thread was kind of a moan at another one I read about which gender was shallower. I can say without a doubt than girls/women based on my real life experiences. Not that I'm gonna become some terrible guy or anything but I can definitely say that I will never be quite as kind/nice as I was in the past to women when I believed all the BS about them being the fairer sex/more sensitive etc
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Jd_uk
Appreciate the advice. How did it affect you with women and otherwise? What age did you go bald? And did you bother using dating sites when you went bald?


Going to be honest and say that I'm a bit of a keyboard warrior when it comes to giving advice to other men regarding women, bald and otherwise. I've not had that much success dating, but I think it's more down to other things than baldness, which I don't generally allow to be a contributory factor. For example I work in a very small company and my main hobby is utterly dominated by men. I did have one particularly pleasant experience with a lass who ran her hand over my head in bed and proclaimed "I love this".

I started thinning at 16 and had fully gone on top more or less by 20. I use Tinder but only for a laugh really. Not on other sites as I can't really be bothered.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 12
Original post by rockrunride
Going to be honest and say that I'm a bit of a keyboard warrior when it comes to giving advice to other men regarding women, bald and otherwise. I've not had that much success dating, but I think it's more down to other things than baldness, which I don't generally allow to be a contributory factor. For example I work in a very small company and my main hobby is utterly dominated by men. I did have one particularly pleasant experience with a lass who ran her hand over my head in bed and proclaimed "I love this".

I started thinning at 16 and had fully gone on top more or less by 20. I use Tinder but only for a laugh really. Not on other sites as I can't really be bothered.


Fair enough, well I'm glad you don't let baldness get you down. Just gotta look for the rare decent ones I guess.

I just hope that all the girls who get dumped/have hard times with cheating guys and decide to call guys assh*les/shallow etc remember threads like this and the type of guys that they would just overlook purely based on something as superficial as hair.
Reply 13
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(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 14
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Jd_uk
Reading the other thread about women being shallower than men. I can say for a fact that it is 100% true that women are shallowe beased on my own experiences. When my hsir started thinning, female attention stopped for me. On dating sites i can post a pic with hair and one without...i immediately get matches and friendly replies to messages of me with hair and just nothing at all from the ones with a shaved head. I'm considering medication to regrow some hair but it's actually risky and not very healthy for a man to do because baldness is caused by tesostsrone and this blocks it a bit (DHT).

But yeah guys, keep your hair if you want to find a 'nice' woman cos girls can be bitches without. Now i'm the 'creepy' guy.
You're creepy, not your scalp. I'm well into the process of losing my hair, and that's never put anyone off talking to me - even women.
Reply 16
Original post by Tootles
You're creepy, not your scalp. I'm well into the process of losing my hair, and that's never put anyone off talking to me - even women.


With respect, I apparently wasn't when I had hair. What do you mean by 'talking'?
Original post by Jd_uk
With respect, I apparently wasn't when I had hair. What do you mean by 'talking'?
I mean talking - in whatever context. Talking about what's going on in the setting the woman and I have in common, or about mutual interests, whatever. What do you think I'm likely to mean by "talking?"
Reply 18
Original post by Tootles
I mean talking - in whatever context. Talking about what's going on in the setting the woman and I have in common, or about mutual interests, whatever. What do you think I'm likely to mean by "talking?"


I'm speaking about dating scenarios or bars/clubs. The difference has been stark.Notice the lack of female responses on this thread despite hundreds of views? They know how shallow they are about a guy having hair. And the one female reply stated proudly 'idk hair is just cute haha' before protesting that thinning hair must show less than optimal health.
Original post by Jd_uk
I'm speaking about dating scenarios or bars/clubs. The difference has been stark.Notice the lack of female responses on this thread despite hundreds of views? They know how shallow they are about a guy having hair. And the one female reply stated proudly 'idk hair is just cute haha' before protesting that thinning hair must show less than optimal health.
In bars/clubs? OK. I'll give you three scenarios, things which happened to me, all in my twenties, long after my hair started thinning.

1.

Twenty-second birthday. The girl serving the shots at one bar came with me to another bar when the one she was working at closed for the night. Not only did she take my phone off my and put her number in it - without my asking - she got us both thrown out of the second bar by kissing me, very openly and very hard, in front of the doorman.

2.

One Saturday night when I was abotu twenty-three, my brother, eighteen at the time, asked me how to talk to women. To show him that you just talk to them like people, I struck up a conversation with two women sat at the bar. i had both their phone numbers within ten minutes. I didn't tell them my motivation until after, at which point they started talking to him.

3.

I did a little bit of burlesque dancing with a friend at a local club - a double-act play-fight in costume. After he and I had finished our spot on stage, we got back into our normal clothes and just watched the other acts. We were talking to people, some of which we knew, others we didn't. We had a fun evening and stayed there 'til about two in the morning, and as we were walking the cider and wine and God knows what else off, he informed me that all the women there had been openly hitting on me, and how did I not even notice.

So here's what I think. You're thinking too much about it and reading too much into it. You're probably trying to make it look like you're not losing your hair, which will just make you look worse. Probably there's such a lack of women posting here because they are just going 'LOL NEXT' when they see your whiny little thread.

Want to talk to women? Go over your scalp with a two- or three-comb and act like that's how you always looked. Suck it up and be who you are - which consists of more than how much hair you've got on your head.

/thread.

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