Feelings for a friend who probably doesn't feel the same

I've been friends with him for about 6 months and my feelings have just intensified progressively.

He hasn't been in a relationship for a long time and never talks about liking anyone which maybe he doesn't as he is so focussed on his studies. He tells me all the time how much he believes in me and wants to see me happy yet doesn't seem that comfortable when I greet him with a hug (which I do with any of my friends) and takes a long time to reply to messages even though I understand he is incredibly busy I can't help feeling if there was something more he would reply much sooner.

I have exams coming up soon and things are already stressful as I have had a number of extenuating circumstances over the year, he's playing on my mind yet I feel massively hurt when he hasn't done anything wrong directly. He's such a kind and decent person but the fact I have feelings for him (which he admittedly doesn't know about) I feel indirectly rejected and I'm now finding myself no longer able to be as open and honest when he asks me how I am because I'm hurting but not in a way I can explain to him.

Not sure what I'm really asking for but any advice would be appreciated as I've actually never had feelings for another person before as weird as that is.

I think you should tell him you have feelings for him. It's quite cute tbh. Some guys just are awkward with hugs.

Well she needs to flirt with him and see how he reacts to that. I wouldn't go telling him as it could make things awkward and she needs to see whether he may feel the same.

I think you should tell him you have feelings for him. It's quite cute tbh. Some guys just are awkward with hugs.

Well she needs to flirt with him and see how he reacts to that. I wouldn't go telling him as it could make things awkward and she needs to see whether he may feel the same.

And if he doesnt notice that. some guys (im one of them) are incredibly dense.

OP just say it. IOf you dont, then you will regret it.

Better to have tried and lost than to have not tried at all

It feels like he's become more awkward recently about hugging me.



I can't flirt to save my life



I just don't feel good enough for him and I don't think he feels the same at all. He knows about all my flaws because I tell him.

Let me set you on something straight now. You ARE good enough for him. You are your own person with strengths and things to bring to a relationship. Of course you have flaws, your only human.

Stop thinking you are beneath people. Go for it. Yeah he may say no, but he may also say yes

I think you are right the signs suggest he is not up for a romantic relationship. The situation is a tough one. From my hard experience I would recommend just parking it as friends and distance yourself during exam time to reduce the distraction. The other option is to ask him out so you find out for sure where you stand, but you then need to be able to move on if it doesn't work out. I wasted a lot of time on unrequited love. It's a fact of life that you come across people you fancy the pants off and it doesn't always work out. And in these circumstances it's far better to put the energy in to find someone who is enthusiastic. Good luck

I feel like this because he's really into sport and stuff whereas I'm so unattractive and quite frankly, needy.

My view is that if you are 'needy' then it would be better to work on that issue in your own life before contemplating a relationship with him.

You could consider the initiatives that others have suggested in this thread, but you'd better work out how much risk you can cope with. Some people will happily flirt or ask someone out and it's no skin off their nose if they get blanked; others brood on it for ages and never get over the 'humiliation'.

If you keep thinking about him trying planning to avoid or reduce contact with him.

You should wait till after your exams. he isnt goinbg anywhere and any answer seems to be something you wont deal with very well.

Its a balance between you should try and take a chance v changing the relationship if you are rejected.
Imo he will say no at the moment and he isnt going to be stoked about having this distraction before his exams.

He's leaving next year ;/ he has a huge amount going on with his studies and other responsibilities and I try to respect that but its hard to ignore how you feel. I only really see him once a week and give him space.

I fully expect he doesn't feel the same, I can't see myself being someone who he would want to be with to be honest. His exes have all been pretty and athletic.

Let me set you on something straight now. You ARE good enough for him. You are your own person with strengths and things to bring to a relationship. Of course you have flaws, your only human.

Stop thinking you are beneath people. Go for it. Yeah he may say no, but he may also say yes

Do your exams amd see what its like after. He chooses to spend time with you and you cna always remain in touch. You dont know how things might change. Sorry you lost your parents, that must be very hard to deal with.

Perhaps having a good friend is going to be better than having no friend v a temp boyfriend?

If he lacks confidence, being flirty won't have any effect as he wont notice, I'd honestly just tell him over text and if he feels the same way he'll reply soon enough, make sure it's during a conversation though. I think it would be good to get the discomfort of not knowing off your shoulders.

I agree with this! Yeah, rejection hurts, but you'll never know if he has the same feelings for you if you never try. He could have feelings for you and be too shy or scared to admit them to you. But he also couldn't and then you need to believe in yourself and your worth and just accept a friendship with the guy, and carry on with the belief that the right guy for you will come along (and accept everything about you). I say tell the guy, ask him out, there's nothing to lose, but there could be something to gain. Good luck, I wish you all the best X