I found out today that my ex who I cut contact with 5 months ago made a disgusting and completely slanderous post about me on tumblr in which she claimed to be a "survivor of abuse".
I am a 20 year old man, she is a few months younger than me.
People handle break ups differently I get that, some people vent their anger and decide to hate their ex because they cant deal with being dumped, but i never would have expected such disgusting and quite frankly terrifying slander. Her accusations were not only untrue but quite frightening, a friend pointed out to me today that such a post could even endager my future professionally.
She didn't use my real name in the blog post but included deeply personal details and information about our relationship. It has been 5 months since I cut contact with her, she honestly hasn't even crossed my mind in that long as I moved on with my own life a long time ago but she obviously hasn't moved on if she made a post like that. I was so shocked when I was contacted by a mutual friend who still followed her blog when she made the post because it was so defamatory.
Her actual blog includes her real name and information so though she used fake names in the post, anyone who knows her blog would by default know who she was referring to.
She said things like she had endured abuse for 4 years by my hand and implied that I had taken advantage of her sexually. I had a friend read the post and even my friend pointed out that the post was so full of contradiction it was easy to tell the lies. She claimed to be a 'survivor' yet not one single point or evidence in the things she wrote pointed to ever having being mistreated or actually abused. For example in one part she writes about how she would call me on skype and I wouldn't want to talk to her and we would sit in silence and used this as one of her illustrations of the "emotional abuse" she suffered.
Things which are normally just considered ups and downs of any relationship such as losing feelings were presented as me emotionally abusing her.
This is someone I did everything for, I stayed with her even when it affected my mental health, i was there when she was self harming, i supported her showed her love beyond anything i'v ever shown anyone. This is someone who I eventually had to break up with because her behaviour was so toxic i could no longer love her.
We were together for 4 years. Like every relationship we had ups and downs but we never "fought" in any physical or verbal way ("fighting" consisted of just not speaking for a few hours until we were ready to reconcile) I let her control me and treat me horribly.
My friend suggested she is using her status as a female to play a victim and paint me as an abuser since I am male. I truly can't understand why she would slander me this way, I take these accusations very seriously and I'm even debating whether or not to tell my family because I know that my parents might want to take legal action.
I just cannot believe the things I read. As well as the slander, calling herself a survivor of abuse (despite not being to even give one piece of evidence or an example in her entire essay), she wrote down so many private pieces of information about our relationship, sex life etc Contradicting and exposing herself multiple times throughout the post. for example she acknowledges that I "did not have a libido that matched hers" (she always wanted to have sex and i simply couldn't keep up) yet still claims that I took advantage of her sexually.
In one example she writes that "one time we tried something sexually that we'd never done before and afterwards he was angry and acted aggressively and resentful towards me when I told him I hadn't enjoyed it"
This is one of the more shocking things she wrote. In reality, she had pressured me to try something with her that I was seriously uncomfortable doing, but she wanted it so badly that I agreed, throughout I kept asking her if we should stop and if it was okay etc I really was uncomfortable and didn't want to do it but she kept insisting that she loved it and didn't want to stop and then informed afterwards that she'd only pretended to like it for my sake, which made me quite upset because I had felt pressured and hadn't even wanted to do it ("it" being anal btw) in the blooming first place! But i never acted aggressively, I have never been an aggresive person, i told her what she had done wasn't okay and that her dishonesty had really upset me and i left the room.
I'm upset, angry and still in a state of shock at the things I read. Its been suggested that her behaviour in all the time i knew her was very similar to munchausen syndrome, I never thought that she would actually fabricate something so disgusting in order to paint herself as a survivor. I'm truly disgusted.
I have not (and will not) contacted her, i have no interest in interacting with her in any way. At this stage I just want to know how seriously I need to take this because if there is a chance this sort of slander could be a risk to me in the future I want to know if I need to escalate the matter.