I could be moving to India for a year, only thing stopping me is leaving girlfriend

Hi there,

I'm about to graduate and from September I've been offered a job in India working for a big IT company. The initial contract is 1 year. It would be the experience of a lifetime, and I'm considering accepting the opportunity.

However, I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years now, and I just feel extremely guilty leaving my girlfriend. She doesn't want me to go. When I went to China for a month she was in a state, let alone leaving her for a whole year. I don't know if we would survive.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to look back in a few years and wish I had gone to India. And I don't want my relationship with her to fail and for me to look back and wonder what my life with her could have been if I stayed with her and didn't go to India. I hope we can survive the year, but no relationship is invincible.

There must be some people here who have had similar situations. What did you do and how did you make the decision?

Reply 1

vadermolt1

9

You know what to do, you just don't want to do it. Which is fair enough, because LDR sucks, and it will hurt both of you.

Read your post again, you've already given yourself all the reasoning you need to leave. If someone else had made this post, what would you have said to them? Choose the long term over the short term.

Reply 2

Mona-S

4

Original post by Just Josh

It would be the experience of a lifetime, and I'm considering accepting the opportunity.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to look back in a few years and wish I had gone to India.

I think you should go, it's only for a year, and if the relationship doesn't survive maybe it's not meant to be.

Reply 3

the bear

20

explain to the young lady that this will advance your career; a well paid career is important for your future together.

Reply 4

Just Josh

OP

14

You guys are right, it's definitely what I want to do. I just feel so incredibly guilty doing it. Hopefully I'll be able to buy holiday time or something to come home over Christmas. I'll need to check the local laws. I know it's the right thing to go, just wish i had her on my side with it, it would make things so much easier. Thanks for your posts.

Reply 5

Samonia

13

My boyfriend is doing a year abroad during him uni course so, like your girlfriend, ill not see him for a year-ish But i will say what i told him. Do what you want to do. She can still speak to you on Facebook or the occasional phone call. If you want to go then do otherwise in a couple years you'll regret it and the relationship wont seem as good any more if your bitter against her. Especially if she gets the same offer at some point in the future. If you don't want to go, then don't and look for a job closer to home. But, it is only one year and she can come visit like a holiday thing :smile:

Talk to her about it a little more and see what her real problems are and you could see if you could try to fix them a little before you go. You seem to have written your bit like you want to go. Hope this Helps! :biggrin:

Reply 6

mercieo

1

Why don't you ask her to come with you and she can look for a job out there? Then you can both enjoy the experience without losing each other. Because you also don't want to risk the relationship breaking down and regret it later.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 7

theunitedGOAT

2

Original post by Just Josh

Hi there,

I'm about to graduate and from September I've been offered a job in India working for a big IT company. The initial contract is 1 year. It would be the experience of a lifetime, and I'm considering accepting the opportunity.

However, I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years now, and I just feel extremely guilty leaving my girlfriend. She doesn't want me to go. When I went to China for a month she was in a state, let alone leaving her for a whole year. I don't know if we would survive.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to look back in a few years and wish I had gone to India. And I don't want my relationship with her to fail and for me to look back and wonder what my life with her could have been if I stayed with her and didn't go to India. I hope we can survive the year, but no relationship is invincible.

There must be some people here who have had similar situations. What did you do and how did you make the decision?

Take her with you

Reply 8

999tigger

19

Original post by mercieo

Why don't you ask her to come with you and she can look for a job out there? Then you can both enjoy the experience without losing each other. Because you also don't want to risk the relationship breaking down and regret it later.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Is what I was about to post. Fly her out a couple of times.

Reply 9

Just Josh

OP

14

I don't think she can come out to work as my Indian visa is sponsored by my employer and she wouldn't be eligible for a work visa. Anyway she has her job here. But if she uses her holiday time to come see me, and I use my holiday time to return to England, we will probably have a month with each other throughout the year to enjoy, so it's not the end of the world I suppose. It could be doable.

Reply 10

theunitedGOAT

2

Original post by Just Josh

Hi there,

I'm about to graduate and from September I've been offered a job in India working for a big IT company. The initial contract is 1 year. It would be the experience of a lifetime, and I'm considering accepting the opportunity.

However, I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years now, and I just feel extremely guilty leaving my girlfriend. She doesn't want me to go. When I went to China for a month she was in a state, let alone leaving her for a whole year. I don't know if we would survive.

I don't know what to do. I don't want to look back in a few years and wish I had gone to India. And I don't want my relationship with her to fail and for me to look back and wonder what my life with her could have been if I stayed with her and didn't go to India. I hope we can survive the year, but no relationship is invincible.

There must be some people here who have had similar situations. What did you do and how did you make the decision?

What part of Indian are you going to? Please say Kerala

Reply 11

username1410667

10

I think you should go for it. you can't live your life for some body else.

Best of luck to what ever you decide to do :smile:

Reply 12

Just Josh

OP

14

Original post by theunitedGOAT

What part of Indian are you going to? Please say Kerala

Most likely location is Kolkata. But I'm waiting for confirmation on which office I have been assigned to, which I'll hear back about this week. I only received the offer yesterday.

Reply 13

theunitedGOAT

2

Original post by Just Josh

Most likely location is Kolkata. But I'm waiting for confirmation on which office I have been assigned to, which I'll hear back about this week. I only received the offer yesterday.

Ok

Reply 14

doodle_333

19

If you know what you want you need to do it or you'll regret it and resent your relationship for stopping you. Is it possible for her to come with you?