The Student Room Group

watching a film with v close female friend turned into something...else

First some background.


She has always made it clear that she finds me unattractive (although once she said not ugly). This always stung a little bit and occasionally triggered a couple of days of a crush (i think because of the challenge it poses) but i get crushes on loads of girls and they're generally short lived. if they aren't i can generally (though not easily ofc) get rid of them in a few days. This was even while on Mandy, which is a drug that makes you love those around you, so I thought "simply can't happen then" and have been content to be her best friend, but i wouldn't tolerate her thinking of me as some kind of gay best friend, and our relationship reflects that. She's also quite pretty but not exceptional in any way.

Onto my issue. There might be unnecessary detail here, but i'm trying to put in every single piece of the jigsaw puzzle so we can figure this **** out.

After drinking and playing pool as we always do we decided to watch two films. She is obsessed with one called little big hero 6 or something and i said i wouldn't watch crap like that unless she watched a good film with me afterwards. So after her film i stuck on Heat, which is a master work. I forgot that Heat was a nearly 3 hour monster of a film, so we were half way through at like nearly 4am. Her hips were pointed away from me as we lay parallel to each other, which generally means a girl isn't interested i think.

At some point she went down stairs, and came back having put nice smelling dry shampoo in her hair, then when she sat back on the bed she did it at a sideways angle, which made it impossible for her not to lean into me. Though she did separate us with a pillow. So she's leaning on me and i have my arm around her. Not that unusual. After about 5-6 cans each over the course of the night we're both fairly drunk but not compared to a night out. After a while she started slowly going to sleep on me, so i put both covers under her, turned the film off and put my coat over her. Then i snuck out my room and took a dump.

Coming back i looked at her and thought "wtf do i do now, im not sleeping on the ****ing floor". So i decided to pick her up and move her to a different part of the bed so i could get in. This woke her and then when got into a more natural position in bed, but then suddenly she wrapped her legs around one of my legs and her arms around my chest and we stayed like that for a while. Then i felt her fingers rubbing my back, and so i thought "**** it, might as well" and grabbed her leg, which led to us kind of dry humping each other while i grabbed her arse. Then i moved in for the kiss, she was awake but pretended not to be (like, why?) and she kissed back until suddenly stopping. We kissed a few times and should kiss back until after 3-5 seconds stopping the kiss and shaking her head, while at the same time feeling me up! How can i make sense of all this?!

We also held hands.

After my alarm went off we went to the accommodation- village cafe to eat breakfast like we often do and acted as if nothing had happened.


So my problems are this:

How is it possible she finds me unattractive but this happened?

presumably alcohol was involved in this, but why now when we weren't that drunk and no drugs were involved? If this is the factor that makes a difference, then that diffference shouldn't have occurred at this time, but instead some other.

I think she was too distracted by me to enjoy the amazing film that is Heat as much as she should have.

If i want this to go somewhere, what is my next move?

If i don't, what is my next move?

What am i supposed to think about this? I don't know if im uncomfortable or happy but i can't stop thinking about her. What is this and how can i make it stop? Do i want it to stop? wtf is this

I'm dying for cigarettes but my card is cancelled, so i need her for fags, so if i want to keep a distance from her how can i do that?


Soz for long post. That's about all guys.
(edited 7 years ago)

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Original post by banterboy
There might be unnecessary detail here


Original post by banterboy

Then i snuck out my room and took a dump.



Yes. Unnecessary detail indeed.

I really can't tell if this is a serious post or not?? If it is, I think the best approach would be to simply ask her? Talk to her about what happened?
Reply 2
Original post by hezzlington
Yes. Unnecessary detail indeed.

I really can't tell if this is a serious post or not?? If it is, I think the best approach would be to simply ask her? Talk to her about what happened?


I knew this was a long post so i sprinkled some humour in there.

Yeah but i cant deal with an awkward conversation.
Original post by banterboy
I knew this was a long post so i sprinkled some humour in there.

Yeah but i cant deal with an awkward conversation.


Message her?
What'd you talk about over breakfast? XD Did you just go to sleep after this?
Reply 5
Original post by hezzlington
Message her?


I really don't want to talk to her about it until ive decided what i think about the situation, and i have got a good grasp on the situation myself.
1) you have way too much time on your hands, no one wants to read about your whole life story
2) You were both laying next to each other and she was drunk, its called beer goggles. Thats it.
Reply 7
i cant take you seriously bc of your name.
Reply 8
Original post by Ellipses
What'd you talk about over breakfast? XD Did you just go to sleep after this?


I talked about my headache and how fags make you feel better if you're good, but if your under the weather they make you feel worse. i dont think she wanted to talk about either. We have a strong relationship and generally she lets me talk, as she is an intp and im an entp. When im not dominating the conversation we normally just have amicable silences.


Yeah pretty much just went to sleep.
Reply 9
Original post by mkap
i cant take you seriously bc of your name.


Would be a good point but I'm an old member. This is not a troll post, but i have put things in a way that made me laugh (ie "we also held hands")
Reply 10
Original post by Daniel9998
1) you have way too much time on your hands, no one wants to read about your whole life story
2) You were both laying next to each other and she was drunk, its called beer goggles. Thats it.


1) Anyone with a reading age above like 10 should read this in like 3 mins max. It took be about 6 mins to write ffs.

2) Quite possibly, but its never happened before while we've had much more in our systems. You must admit it's at least a discrepancy that has some causal basis that might be interesting.
Original post by banterboy
I talked about my headache and how fags make you feel better if you're good, but if your under the weather they make you feel worse. i dont think she wanted to talk about either. We have a strong relationship and generally she lets me talk, as she is an intp and im an entp. When im not dominating the conversation we normally just have amicable silences.


Yeah pretty much just went to sleep.


Do you like her? I mean, you seem to notice a lot about her which suggests you might... But from what you've said, you don't sound all that keen...
Original post by banterboy
First some background.


She has always made it clear that she finds me unattractive (although once she said not ugly). This always stung a little bit and occasionally triggered a couple of days of a crush (i think because of the challenge it poses) but i get crushes on loads of girls and they're generally short lived. if they aren't i can generally (though not easily ofc) get rid of them in a few days. This was even while on Mandy, which is a drug that makes you love those around you, so I thought "simply can't happen then" and have been content to be her best friend, but i wouldn't tolerate her thinking of me as some kind of gay best friend, and our relationship reflects that. She's also quite pretty but not exceptional in any way.

Onto my issue. There might be unnecessary detail here, but i'm trying to put in every single piece of the jigsaw puzzle so we can figure this **** out.

After drinking and playing pool as we always do we decided to watch two films. She is obsessed with one called little big hero 6 or something and i said i wouldn't watch crap like that unless she watched a good film with me afterwards. So after her film i stuck on Heat, which is a master work. I forgot that Heat was a nearly 3 hour monster of a film, so we were half way through at like nearly 4am. Her hips were pointed away from me as we lay parallel to each other, which generally means a girl isn't interested i think.

At some point she went down stairs, and came back having put nice smelling dry shampoo in her hair, then when she sat back on the bed she did it at a sideways angle, which made it impossible for her not to lean into me. Though she did separate us with a pillow. So she's leaning on me and i have my arm around her. Not that unusual. After about 5-6 cans each over the course of the night we're both fairly drunk but not compared to a night out. After a while she started slowly going to sleep on me, so i put both covers under her, turned the film off and put my coat over her. Then i snuck out my room and took a dump.

Coming back i looked at her and thought "wtf do i do now, im not sleeping on the ****ing floor". So i decided to pick her up and move her to a different part of the bed so i could get in. This woke her and then when got into a more natural position in bed, but then suddenly she wrapped her legs around one of my legs and her arms around my chest and we stayed like that for a while. Then i felt her fingers rubbing my back, and so i thought "**** it, might as well" and grabbed her leg, which led to us kind of dry humping each other while i grabbed her arse. Then i moved in for the kiss, she was awake but pretended not to be (like, why?) and she kissed back until suddenly stopping. We kissed a few times and should kiss back until after 3-5 seconds stopping the kiss and shaking her head, while at the same time feeling me up! How can i make sense of all this?!

We also held hands.

After my alarm went off we went to the accommodation- village cafe to eat breakfast like we often do and acted as if nothing had happened.


So my problems are this:

How is it possible she finds me unattractive but this happened?

presumably alcohol was involved in this, but why now when we weren't that drunk and no drugs were involved? If this is the factor that makes a difference, then that diffference shouldn't have occurred at this time, but instead some other.

I think she was too distracted by me to enjoy the amazing film that is Heat as much as she should have.

If i want this to go somewhere, what is my next move?

If i don't, what is my next move?

What am i supposed to think about this? I don't know if im uncomfortable or happy but i can't stop thinking about her. What is this and how can i make it stop? Do i want it to stop? wtf is this

I'm dying for cigarettes but my card is cancelled, so i need her for fags, so if i want to keep a distance from her how can i do that?


Soz for long post. That's about all guys.


Honestly, I think she might just have been feeling horny at the time, and you were there. I mean I don't want to imply that you were being used, but under the circumstances you describe, it sounds like that's what happened.
Original post by mkap
i cant take you seriously bc of your name.



:lol:
I was going to say too long cba , but I pushed on. I normally like detail.

5-6 cans of drink plus obviously very sleepy might have had something to do with it. If you wnat it o go somewhere then maybe talk to her when she is sober and not half asleep? Alternatively try and recreate the situation, but make sure more beer is drunk?
1) women are complex creatures.. as you well know by now; even the most 'pretty' don't get as much action as you might think..

2) when was the last time she had some 'action'? it may be a case of she was feeling 'lonely' and hadn't felt 'excitement' before (by someone she knows and can trust not to go snitching/just someone she trusts generally - if she utterly despises you and has no plans for your dick, as you say). this is also proven as she didn't bother to look at you when kissing (far-fetched reason, but still happened leul)
it's either that or she actually has a hidden crush on you and decided to enact it out. (more unlikely situation; as you say she's turned you down more times than you can count; and she made no mention of what happened the night before in the morning). so back to the starter question, when was the last time she got some? B.F or otherwise?
3) i'd also wager alcohol had a huge effect in this. so the possibility of this happening again is quite low. it happened now probably because her lovebox might've grown cobwebs (as stated above); and alcohol + movie = terrible combinations; but ideal for discreet... experimenting.
4) looool. probably too distracted. the event was to watch Heat after all. selfish bitch.
5) want it to go somewhere? from the way i see it, i don't think it can tbh. the only plan i'd have in this situation; would either be recreate the combination and repeat the experiment? or just talk to her about the matter
6) if you don't want it go somewhere (for good reason too. bitch said she didn't want none of that D, but here she's acting otherwise. confusing bastard. jedi mind tricks is strong in this one; id avoid like the plague/Ebola for relationship purposes); then simply NEVER bring it up.
7) most guys would say you're supposed to be happy as it seems like you both 'enjoyed' youself. to that, i'd say that it's upto you what opinions you make of the situation. personally i'd try capitalize on it and turn it into a FWB situation; but Nothing more.
8) why she's moonwalking in your mind? probably adrenaline (or some biological thing. after all, y'all were dry-humping on the bed and basically acting like a married couple for f*cks sake) effect with the chick you played with. it'll pass when you get some from some other broad.
9) i don't know. Do you want it to stop? this is a potential FWB situation here mind..
10) i don't know. don't smoke so never been in THIS situation before. i'd suggest just asking her for fags and not mentioning the subject until you can form an opinion - your opinion on the matter. don't take too long in deciding though.

'luckkk
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by banterboy
We also held hands.


Third base. You're in there.
Reply 17
Original post by Ellipses
Do you like her? I mean, you seem to notice a lot about her which suggests you might... But from what you've said, you don't sound all that keen...


Well yeah I do notice a lot about her...but that doesn't prove i like her. DO I? I've been trying to figure that one out for a while.
Reply 18
Original post by theDanIdentity
1) women are complex creatures.. as you well know by now; even the most 'pretty' don't get as much action as you might think..

2) when was the last time she had some 'action'? it may be a case of she was feeling 'lonely' and hadn't felt 'excitement' before (by someone she knows and can trust not to go snitching/just someone she trusts generally - if she utterly despises you and has no plans for your dick, as you say). this is also proven as she didn't bother to look at you when kissing (far-fetched reason, but still happened leul)
it's either that or she actually has a hidden crush on you and decided to enact it out. (more unlikely situation; as you say she's turned you down more times than you can count; and she made no mention of what happened the night before in the morning). so back to the starter question, when was the last time she got some? B.F or otherwise?
3) i'd also wager alcohol had a huge effect in this. so the possibility of this happening again is quite low. it happened now probably because her lovebox might've grown cobwebs (as stated above); and alcohol + movie = terrible combinations; but ideal for discreet... experimenting.
4) looool. probably too distracted. the event was to watch Heat after all. selfish bitch.
5) want it to go somewhere? from the way i see it, i don't think it can tbh. the only plan i'd have in this situation; would either be recreate the combination and repeat the experiment? or just talk to her about the matter
6) if you don't want it go somewhere (for good reason too. bitch said she didn't want none of that D, but here she's acting otherwise. confusing bastard. jedi mind tricks is strong in this one; id avoid like the plague/Ebola for relationship purposes); then simply NEVER bring it up.
7) most guys would say you're supposed to be happy as it seems like you both 'enjoyed' youself. to that, i'd say that it's upto you what opinions you make of the situation. personally i'd try capitalize on it and turn it into a FWB situation; but Nothing more. adrenaline effect with the chick you played with. it'll pass when you get some from some other broad. i don't know. Do you want it to stop? this is a potential FWB situation here mind..
8) i don't know. don't smoke so never been in THIS situation before. i'd suggest just asking her for fags and not mentioning the subject until you can form an opinion - your opinion on the matter. don't take too long in deciding though.

'luckkk


Interesting points. A few problems though. She did look at me while kissing, and at other times when I pinned her down etc (didn't mention the fact that it also kind of turned into a few games).

I wouldn't say she's turned me down. I've never asked her out, never made moves on her or anything like that. She kind of says it whenever she's high and we start getting too close. Like, this is something she;s said probs like 5 times in 10 months.

I dunno, she's kind of been one of thiose girls who you don't really care about that much (romantically, shes a very good friend) but if it was on the table i'd probs try it out. That's been my thoughts on her apart from brief periods where ive had a crush on her. But what i'm trying to emphasise is that this is not some stereotypical friend zone situation. I'm not the kind of guy who allows myself to get into that kind of ****.

I dunno the exact time she had action, she has had a fair few one night stands though since coming to uni.

I dunno why i am so confused lol.
She might have been slightly drunk but I don't think she was drunk enough to not know what she was doing. She probably wanted to try kissing you so she pretended like she was sleepy and really drunk so it wouldn't be too awkward afterwards. Basically she wanted some action, you were there, she thought might as well give it a shot he'll think I'm kissing him because I'm drunk. That's my theory any way..:curious:

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