Very bad breakup after 5 year relationship

He sounds like an utter prick. You don't need someone like that in your life. It will hurt like hell for the next little while, especially in the first few weeks but you can and will get over him. I can imagine how hard it must be to try and adjust your thinking to imagine your future without him after being with him for so long but he has shown he's no longer interested and isn't to be trusted and its better to be alone than with someone like that.

I know its nearly impossible to eat or relax when something like this happens but try eating even just something small. Not eating will make you feel worse. I know eating might be the last thing you want to do but it has to be done.

My heart honestly goes out to you. I've been with my bf for 7 years and if this happened to me, I wouldn't take it well at all. From your post, I think you are taking it quite well even though you are hurting a lot which is only natural. You're stronger than you realise and I hope you see it in time to realise you deserve someone so much better than him.

It happens. I do say this though, he was just a chapter in your life, you must end that chapter on a good note. That note is believing and knowing that you can and will move on and you'll move on to something and someone better. 5 years is a while, he went behind your back, no sympathy should go to him. Don't let his decision to hurt you make you think about after a while "why did I waste my time hurting so much". Let it be days not weeks where you feel hurt, it's difficult of course but set that as a goal and I hope you feel better soon he's a fool and you're going to move forward and put him in his place, in the recycle folder of your computer. Get back to eating, he's not worth you cutting out essentials, you're stronger than this. Oh! Don't see the relationship just as a bunch of horrible feelings, see this end as an opportunity.

I know, thank you for your advice. Sometimes I feel a bit more positive, like I will be better off without him, he's horrible etc. Then the next minute it's like my world is just falling apart and I can't bear not being with him.

I think the worst thing about it is that it was so sudden and unexpected, and he's just done it in the worst possible way. Cheating, then taking out all the anger on me for texting the girl he cheated on me with (!!!) and now not even talking to me about any of it and ignoring any of my calls or texts, just nothing. How can someone who you've been with for 5 years just do that to you?

Some of you may remember my last thread asking for advice about a bad relationship and how to solve it. Sorry this is quite long but I would appreciate anyone reading through it for me.

Basically things have been awful for so long, but I went over to his parents this weekend to sort things out - and we did - we finally talked about everything after 2 years of things not working out and for once I felt really positive about things and thought we'd finally made a move in the right direction. We were lovey-dovey, slept together, romantic and told each other how much we loved one another. Unfortunately, now the worst has happened and I am absolutely devastated.

I came home on Sunday morning, and restarted my laptop, which we share, and this is when all of his iMessages came through. I didn't want to read them for obvious reasons, but I noticed his most recent one was from an unknown number and it was a girl he had met on Thursday night, saying things like 'Morning beautiful' and indicated he had taken out for lunch on Friday. This is when he told me he was stuck in traffic. I saw him the same day and we slept together...

I was so angry and upset reading this, I was silly and texted the girl saying 'Just so you know, these messages have come through to my computer and he's actually in a 5 year relationship and we just spent the weekend together with his parents and our dog'. When I finally got through to my boyfriend, he wasn't that apologetic as he denied it at first but then started explaining about how bad he'd been feeling & that he wanted to see what it was like to be with someone else. He also told me he had been texting her all weekend. We were both quite upset so decided to speak later about it.

Then he found out I'd texted this girl, called me back straightaway and went MENTAL at me. Saying how dare I text her, and that he had to apologise on my behalf for being such a psycho. He then said he wanted to break up with me, so I said ok, hung up and then he called back saying he didn't mean it, it's just how he felt and that he was so mad he didn't want to make any decisions when he was angry so we would speak when he cooled off.

I didn't contact him all day after that so we could both cool off, and met up with my friends instead. I then got a text from this girl saying that my boyfriend told her that I had lied, that me and him broke up months ago, and that he hadn't seen me this weekend! So when he called me in the evening I ignored it as I'd also been drinking and knew I would say things I might regret.


The next day I felt so awful I STUPIDLY text him asking him to speak, telling him I loved him and I knew things had been so bad but he's my best friend. He said he would call me after work. After work, I waited. Nothing. I called him... nothing. He'd read my whatsapps and ignored me. I asked him to call again because I wasn't feeling well and was going to bed. Read, and ignored.

It's now been two days since and I haven't heard anything from him, even though he knows how much he's hurt me, how I feel about him and knowing that I was waiting for him to call. I am heartbroken. After everything we have been through, he has chosen to behave like this. No respect for me at all and basically just rubbing dog poo in my face. As much as I would have hated it, the least he could have done would be to say 'I'm sorry I don't want this any more, it's not working and I don't want to talk' or something.

I feel sick now, I can't sleep - I haven't eaten since Sunday. I feel so awful. My friends and family have been great but I feel like someone has stabbed me. I can't imagine my life without this person, we have been together since we were 19. We have gone through so much together and all our life plans were together. And now one person shows him attention when times are a bit tough, he treats me like dirt and doesn't even have the decency to talk to me.

I just don't know what to do. I feel so sick. If anyone else has been through this please help, it hurts so much.