Inexperienced female, how can I feel comfortable on dates?

Hello all,

I have an extremely low level of experience in the dating world for someone in their mid-20s, The average girl half my age probably has several times more experience than me!

So my question is can anyone give me tips on how to feel comfortable when I get out into the dating world?

I'm scared I'm too old to start dating and that because it hasn't really happened for me yet I should just give up and that even if I get myself out there that my inexpereince is a massive red flag and men will run a mile. I ideally want to date older guys (around 30) so that probably makes it worse.

And whilst my confidence is certainly improving there is still a voice in the back of my mind say 'who would want you?'.

I'm absolutely terrified at the thought of spending time along with a man in a dating setting. Other than getting drunk I don't know how I'm going to even do it, and I don't even drink anyway.

Thank you :biggrin:

Reply 1

username1726117

There is literally nothing for you to be concerned about. :smile:

There's plenty of women out there around your age group that will have the same or even less experience than yourself, and that won't effect their dating potential. Just put yourself out there, show off your best self and eventually someone who you are compatible with will come along and sweep you off your feet. Why should they care if you have less experience? If they want you to be theirs, they won't care. Heck, I value less experience just as well so you'd still be a catch in my eyes! Older men isn't an issue either. Plenty of older men go for young girls.

Instead of "who would want you", say to yourself "someone will want me". Instead of thinking of yourself as inexperienced, think that you will finally get to experience things with someone you truly care about. Instead of being terrified of spending time with a guy in a dating setting, treat it as if you were going for coffee with a long-time friend.

You'll be fine! Now, get out there and strut your stuff!

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 2

Cremated_Spatula

Are you also a very quiet person?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Cremated_Spatula

Are you also a very quiet person?

Yes very shy at first. When I warm to someone I become very animated but I'm very reserved at first. I'm trying to fight it but it's hard. I hate when attention is on me for some reason, which includes when someone seems to be attracted to me. I have some sort of block and it's a no win mindset because I want someone to be attracted to me but when it appears that they are in reality I can't handle it and I probably scare them away!

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

I've not personally met any woman of my age who is this inexperience. There's also family pressure which doesn't help, extended family in particular treat me like the black sheep and the weirdo because I've never had a boyfriend and even called me 'spinster'.

The thing with older men is yes many probably do like younger women but at the same point I think my child-like level of experience will be a complete turn off compared to the 'grown' women they are used to. I feel I have very little to offer and inadequate.

But indeed I need to stop being so hard on myself and see what I do have to bring to the table. And just get out there and stop hiding away so scared! I guess I just need to calm down.

Reply 5

username1726117

Original post by Anonymous

You'll be fine, trust me. It depends where you're looking, but once you shift through some of the muppets you'll find a gem. Seriously, the people who are worth it won't give a damn about your inexperience, only that you're willing to put the effort into the relationship. :smile:

Reply 6

Smack

Volunteer Team

Inexperience isn't something that men generally find a turn-off or a red-flag in women, therefore I don't think you have much to worry about.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

ery shy at first. When I warm to someone I become very animated but I'm very reserved at first. I'm trying to fight it but it's hard. I hate when attention is on me for some reason, which includes when someone seems to be attracted to me. I have some sort of block and it's a no win mindset because I want someone to be attracted to me but when it appears that they are in reality I can't handle it and I probably scare them away!

lol u just described me in this paragraph

Reply 8

Zarek

I think if you go out with someone you feel attracted to it comes relatively easy. See if you can find some venues or social scenes to meet the right kind of guy. Get a bit of advise from more successful mates. With patience and tenacity it comes.