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I dont see the issue unless the petrol cost more than the train.

I personally never tend to ask people to pay for my petrol when I give them lifts unless it was to a very far destination then at worst i'd split the cost.
I'm confused as to why he'd offer to drop you home and then ask you money for petrol? To me, if you offer, then surely, you shouldn't accept payment?

This came up a few times last year. I needed to go to and from the airport a few times. First time, I was being picked up from the train station by a friend and I asked if I owed him any money. He said no because they have to go that way anyway and thinking about it, they could have probably picked me up from the next station. We got picked up from the airport by my dad who did ask for petrol money, who did say it was an 80 mile or so round trip for him and unlike my friend, he'd otherwise have no reason to go there anyway.
Most of the time people I'm with offer to put in the odd fiver without me even asking so i don't see a problem with it unless your a Beta male


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Original post by Anonymous
It was his first time to ask me money to take me back. He's got a decent full time job. I would have said don't offer if you're gonna make me pay for it, I'd rather get the train looool


Honestly, I can see it from both sides. But I would have said the same as you. He shouldn't have offered if he was going to ask you to pay him. Him offering implies he was doing you a favour, but then it ended with him asking for money - weird.

I'd let it slide this once but if he makes a habit out of asking, especially since he has a full time job, I'd say that I would rather take the train.
Original post by Anonymous
I've been with my bf for a few months, he lives 55 miles away fr me. Stayed over & he insisted to drop me home instead of dropping me to the train station but asked me for petrol money. I got pissed coz he demanded something in return instead of doing it coz he care.

What do people think? :smile:


If he offered to drop you home, he should pay. If you asked him to drop you home, you should pay.
It was my understanding:
He offered in the first instance, but asked for payment and she refused.
That would have menat her going for the train.
He insisted taking her.
He asked for money when he dropped her off.

Imo out of order. That said its a pretty unseemly squabble over £15? I wouldnt dream of asking if id offered, im;ess I was really skint, but even then id make it plain before the start and probably return the money anyway. If you cnat see eye to eye on basic money balues, then it means there will be trouble.
He did that after offering you a lift? :c
Maybe he was short on cash or didn't have enough to pay for the ride home? :gasp: You never know.
Well I drive and my be doesn't and I've never asked him for money. He has paid more than me for meals etc but I do usually contribute to bills say 10 pound or so. What annoys me a little though is that in arguments he brings up how he pays most of the time but he forgets about the petrol. Also he always says that he 'takes me out' even though I'm the driver so I've taken him out lol.
Next time, if there is one, respond to the offer of the lift with 'do you take petrol contributions or payment in kind?'
Original post by Anonymous
That was what he was probably thinking, so instead of spending it on train fare give it to him. Just got annoyed when he actually asked for cash instead of a treat.


Okay, firstly... 55 miles there and back is a loooooooong way and so expensive on petrol. He probably could have been more constructive asking for petrol money but any decent person who is given a lift would offer the driver money anyway!!!! I'm assuming you don't drive yourself as you seem unaware of how much it is to run a car so I won't slate you for that. Maybe you saw his kind gesture as too much of a "treat" when in fact he was actually hinting that it would be cheaper for you to pay him to drive you home than get a train. Which is why at the end of the journey he realised you didn't get the hint so asked you for petrol money in the most blunt way possible. Don't go thinking just cos he's you're boyfriend you should be treated like you're royal.
I would if I had a girlfriend
He should have demanded a damn good blowjob instead. He must be desperate to date a girl so far away.
Reply 52
Its wrong for him to insist you pay him not let you make a choice on whether to get the train not. Its also wrong to ask after he has given you the lift. BUT it is also wrong for you to expect him to do it for free, as its long and costs him. It should go down more like 'Ill give you a lift if you'd rather not get the train, just give me £10 for petrol or something? its up to you'. That way you have to choice on if you want to go with him or your own way, and there is no hidden surprise demand/shock at his request.

It depends on the circumstances but long journeys do deserve a little financial aid... When my boyf gives me lifts somewhere near like work ect (I don't drive at all) I would be really annoyed if he asked for petrol money, based on the fact I also go out of my way/spend money for him too. However if he was driving me somewhere far I would fill up his car/give him some money. He once took me an hour and a half away so I could spend a weekend with friends - for that I gave him petrol and would never expect it free as it takes three hours out of his day ect and I would have to pay for public transport anyway. Just an example to put it into perspective a little.
I would NOT ask my GF for petrol money
Original post by Anonymous
It was his first time to ask me money to take me back. He's got a decent full time job. I would have said don't offer if you're gonna make me pay for it, I'd rather get the train looool


get the train next time rather than being so entitled

he already spent hours driving you home, he doesn't have to pay loads for it too, tbh you should have offered (or bought him something next time like a takeaway to say thanks)
Reply 55
Original post by Anonymous
He has a decent full time job though. Yeah he was thinking of giving him what I would have spend on train + bus, approximately £15.


110 miles I think is around £60 in petrol, that's alot..

But seeing as it would have cost you just £15, the smart thing to do would have let you make your own way back.

Really though he should have asked if he was planning to charge you.
(edited 7 years ago)
I wouldnt ask my partner for petrol money at all. I wouldnt even ask her for a lift. I'd rather walk or get into my own car.
Original post by ANM775
110 miles I think is around £60 in petrol, that's alot..


£60?! I can drive over 400 miles for £60.

Anyway. I think the boyfriend was cheeky tbh. Don't offer if you can't afford it. Saying at the beginning "I'll give you a lift for the same price as the train fare" (or similar), fine. But springing it on you at the end?

I drive and my boyfriend doesn't. I've never charged him for a lift, because we both do favours for each other anyway. Although I'll give him free lifts, he'll do things for me in return. Like the washing up :lol:
Reply 58
Original post by Anonymous
I've been with my bf for a few months, he lives 55 miles away fr me. Stayed over & he insisted to drop me home instead of dropping me to the train station but asked me for petrol money. I got pissed coz he demanded something in return instead of doing it coz he care.

What do people think? :smile:


He offered to spend more time with you, make your home journey faster and more comfortable, and took it upon him to spend the return journey alone in the car driving.

And he doesn't care?

Ungrateful little thing.
Reply 59
Original post by TattyBoJangles
£60?! I can drive over 400 miles for £60.

Anyway. I think the boyfriend was cheeky tbh. Don't offer if you can't afford it. Saying at the beginning "I'll give you a lift for the same price as the train fare" (or similar), fine. But springing it on you at the end?

I drive and my boyfriend doesn't. I've never charged him for a lift, because we both do favours for each other anyway. Although I'll give him free lifts, he'll do things for me in return. Like the washing up :lol:


Yeah, whoops. I just did some calculations and your estimate is far more accurate than mine lol.

My answer changes then. If he was in a full-time job probably he shouldn't have asked, if he was strapped for cash then he should have told her he wants paying before taking her.

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