No friends in university, still??

Hey Guys,
I'm kinda new on this site but i just wanted to see if there are others in my situation and if i can get any advice..
I just started uni 4 months ago, my first semester's almost over, but i have made absolutely NO friends, and I'm not even exaggerating! To be fair, i haven't joined any clubs or societies, partly because i have no interests and i feel it would be too awkward to barge in when everyone's so settled.
Anyway, I'm going really well academically, i just feel it's kinda hard to function without friends, not even acquanitances, who would want to see me each day and have something to tell me. I've always been a shy girl but i desperately don't want to be stuck like this forever!! It is killing me!!

Reply 1

Ash8991

Hey, you could try and start your own club or society. My teachers told me that their Uni years were the best years of their lives so I'm sure you wouldn't want to look back and realise how boring it was when everyone else was having so much fun. But then again, people who do just party 24/7 at Uni have essentially put themselves into a lot of debt just to do something that they could have done for free XD

Reply 2

SmileyVibe

You really should join a club. Do you approach people at least? I'll be starting college very soon and unlike HS, you don't see the same people everyday. You kind of have to put yourself out there or no one is going to talk to you. If you don't make the first move to socialize with people then good luck.

Reply 3

Sabby888

Original post by SmileyVibe

Exactly! I've found this very true with university as opposed to high school. You're not gonna get anywhere if you don't initiate, in high school you're just kinda stuck in a room with the same bunch of people for years, in uni you're pretty much alone and have to make effort to meet people.

Reply 4

CrazyJailbird

Original post by Sabby888

I actually do approach people, but the conversation kind of just wanes off and i don't talk to them again. Like i see so many people i would like to be friends with and i smile at them, but no-one seems to be interested in having a conversation

Reply 5

Uw0tm8_

Original post by CrazyJailbird

If you can't keep a conversation going do you blame them...

Reply 6

Sabby888

Original post by CrazyJailbird

Yeah, i know what you mean. You've kind of got the first part done: they seem to like you. So you've also got to initiate the second part which is getting closer. If it seems like they genuinely enjoy spending time with you, don't be afraid to ask them if they'd like to join you go somewhere or if they're free this weekend, etc. I'm not actually studying in England so i'm not exactly sure how the social behavior plays out at uni there haha but seriously don't be afraid to take a risk and ask people if they wanna join you :biggrin:

Reply 7

nerdling_CompSci

Whenever I see a girl in school and they tell me they have no friends most of them will tell me they have people "they know". These sre the same people they hangout with. I too dont classify the people I have known for 3 months as my friends they are people I know. Now! Do u have people u hangout with ? Having a friend/friends will happen automatically trust me. But you have to talk to people.

During registration at campus I talked to 2 guys (which I hangout with 3 months later) and 1 girl ( who dropped out)... and then when classes started I saw another guy who was alone I went to him and we had a chat about how boring one of our classes was... I never had his number for atleast 3 weeks, but today I can call him "my friend" bcoz im always with him at school even during classes. We ring each other when one cant see the other.

Solution: talk to people. Im sure u have done group projects u should have had a friend through that. Its easier

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Reply 8

username853993

Original post by Ash8991

People over hype uni life way too much lol I mean yeah I really enjoy it but I really hope these arent the 'best years of my life'. Also youll find the people who partied all the time are the ones saying that they had the best time of their lives at uni, most other people I know who have graduated dont say that

Reply 9

Fullofsurprises

Original post by CrazyJailbird

Making friends is like a job to start with, you often have to feel like you put more of the effort in and your reward will only came later. Not all friendships have to be full-on, a good aim is to start by just looking to make 'casual' friends where you are 'friendly' but not yet 'friends' if you get what I mean. Then you kind of work at those, keep trying and eventually you will find one or more people that you click with.

One thing I noticed from your posts was that you felt you didn't want to intrude because it's 'late' - that's a feeling you have but it won't be the reality, people come and go from socs all the time, you have to put up with that feeling and try anyway. I know this is easy to say and it can feel tough, but a lot of good things in life do feel a little tough to start with.

What are your interests?

Reply 10

SmileyVibe

Original post by CrazyJailbird

What type of questions do you ask? BTW, you're not going to "click" with everybody. Ask for their kiks, snapchats, or facebook names. Try to get their contacts and invite them to sit with you during lunch.

Reply 11

MohamedAman

Dont worry,you'll be fine :smile:

Reply 12

username1229433

It's never too late to make friends

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Reply 13

JustGeorgeJ

Original post by CrazyJailbird

Hello!

I'm sorry to hear that you are this far in and haven't made any friends yet, that isn't a nice way to start university. I'd suggest maybe start off by talking to people on your course? This way you know that you'll have one similar interest. You could start off by asking them if you want to study together? Or invite them off for a drink after a lecture?
Or as some other commenters have said, why not try and start your own club/society and see where that gets you?

Don't fret! You'll make friends!