Hate Life Right now- Forced to marry someone i dont want to

I currently study law in the UK and am in my penultimate year. All through uni i was focused on studies and didn't really talk to girls. on top of this i didnt really give a good image of myself as I wore really ill fitting clothes and pretty much the same clothes each year. i am ok looking. another thing is parents didnt really help me out with what to wear etc, not really caring and when i do look sharp they stare at me kinda like "oh i wish he doesn't catch that meny peoples eyes".. it all makes sense now and they double teamed me and said "amin since your nearly finished university and your 23 and havent brought any girls yet you will marry your younger cousin she is a good girl" I agree she is nice but i just wouldn't marry her in 1000000000000000000 years.. whats your verdict on my situation

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c o u s i n

wat

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Original post by aminallstar

Have you told them this? If you don't want to marry her, you can't be forced and neither should you be, it's your own choice. 23 is still a young age to be thinking about marriage, concentrate on yourself and then find someone.

Reply 4

999tigger

Easier to resist because you are male?

Tekk them no or negotiate it till after you are qualified. That could be 3+ years away. Tell them how it gets even harder.

Reply 5

aminallstar

Original post by Pra99

Troll

i wish

Reply 6

aminallstar

Original post by Rhythmical

yeah i have repulsively but they keep throwing back out the hat at every possible instance you know hat the sad thing is? yesterday we were having a conversation and mu said "ill bring a girl for him" and she made it seem as though it was someone that id like and id have a choice but its my fukking cousin

Reply 7

aminallstar

Original post by 999tigger

Easier to resist because you are male?

Tekk them no or negotiate it till after you are qualified. That could be 3+ years away. Tell them how it gets even harder.

what gets even harder?

Reply 8

999tigger

Original post by aminallstar

what gets even harder?

If you intend to qualify.

Reply 9

Rhythmical

Original post by aminallstar

Being Asian myself, I know the experience of (not first hand) having to have an arranged marriage or witnessing my cousins marry another cousin. Some of them have fallen in love, the others have been 'pushed' to marry. If you're not happy, speak to someone you can trust because they can't force you as it's illegal and the marriage won't be based on love and honesty.

Peek times m8

It's illegal to force someone to marry.

Reply 12

donutellme

Maaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn FŪCK that

Just say, nah mum i'm good thanks. They really can't force it on you. Get a job and gain experience for a bit before thinking about this. You're only 23, which is actually quite young for a guy to get married.

How old is your cousin anyway? They probably haven't even asked her haha. Is she in the UK too?

I understand how you feel man, since I'm Asian too.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 13

aminallstar

Original post by donutellme

cheers for the reply...

yep shes in the uk and she is 19 i think just turning 20

Reply 14

Unorganisedaf

Original post by aminallstar

Make a prayer to get out of it and say Amin. Sorry amen.
Nah I'm kidding, talk to parents and reject. Grow up :P "I'm in uni" yet you can't say "no thanks" to your parents on something ridiculous.

Reply 15

aminallstar

Original post by Unorganisedaf

Make a prayer to get out of it and say Amin. Sorry amen.
Nah I'm kidding, talk to parents and reject. Grow up :P "I'm in uni" yet you can't say "no thanks" to your parents on something ridiculous.

i have... but they always bring it back up.. im not allowed to go out and am discouraged from social media tell me how i can find a wife

Reply 16

Lemonsponge

Say you want to study more, are you thinking of doing a masters?

Or say you just want to focus on work after University.

Or just be honest and say you don't want to get married to her.

23 is really young to be married anyway, I hope you convince them that you don't want to get married

Best of luck! :smile:

Reply 17

Unorganisedaf

Original post by aminallstar

i have... but they always bring it back up.. im not allowed to go out and am discouraged from social media tell me how i can find a wife

You're at uni and you can't go out? Are you kidding me. Clarify this for me real quick please, are you Muslim? If you aren't I have stuff to say lol at the same time if you are! I still have stuff to say

Reply 18

Akarim11

If you don't want to marry her then don't. Tell your parents now before things get ugly and they start planning your wedding or something.

You're an adult, put your foot down and take control!

Besides, you're a guy so it'd be easier for you to rebel! If you want, start looking for a partner yourself. Socialise, do something in the summer that gives you a chance to meet someone!