How long did it take you to get over a girl you loved but didn't date

And how long did you love her for?

Oh it took me forever. I asked her out once and she said no, but I stayed friends with her and chatted to her a lot even after I moved to a different school for my A-Levels. I asked her out again once or twice over about 3 years but she kept saying no - instead going from one boyfriend to the next (and some of those guys were idiots). Then I lost touch with her for a few years, but we started chatting again about 2 years ago. I still wasn't over her then and I told her I regretted that things didn't go further between us. It got even more painful when I found out she's getting married, so I gave up and haven't spoken to her much since then. In total, probably about 8 years. :s-smilie:

Reply 2

David B

12 years and counting :smile:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by asif007

Aw, that's so sad. Why did you keep asking her out when she clearly said no in the beginning?
Are you still in love with her?

Original post by David B

12 years and counting :smile:

Aw what happened?

Reply 4

David B

Original post by Anonymous

Aw what happened?

She moved away, and we lost touch. The feelings however didn't go with her. I spoke to her once via Facebook, and she replied, and then I messaged again and she ignored me. I fear messaging again and facing another rejection. I think that the reason why I've been unable to let go is because, I never told her how I felt about her all those years ago.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by David B

I think you should tell her so you can finally know. The reason why you're still in love with her might be because you think there's going to be a chance one day. Just tell her how you feel, she'll either say yes or no. If it's a no you can move on and if it's a yes well then good luck.

Reply 6

Kevin De Bruyne

Never. Why? Because you can't love someone like that unless you've dated and then some. Anything else is just an infatuation. I think people confuse love for extreme infatuation, and I don't blame them as, without experience, you don't really know what true love is.

I've crushed on people and have almost always not got as far as dating them. It passes quickly depending on how often I see them, wherever I see them.

Reply 7

David B

Original post by Anonymous

She's in a relationship already. I don't ever think we'll be together. We are strangers at this point and from what I can tell about her now from observation on Facebook is that she's very closed off as a person. I wouldn't call it love. I would just call it feelings of a 10 year old that did grow over 10 years, but were never able to be shared.

Reply 8

David B

Original post by SeanFM

Don't you believe in love at first sight? :biggrin:

Reply 9

jamesthehustler

never had an issue
i just went to up to them and would start a conversation by any of the following
chiming in my opinion on the current subject
mentioning my powerful connections
a bad joke or something freaky/dangerous

Spoiler

Reply 10

BirdIsWord

If you're seeing her every day in person (in your class) or on Facebook posts etc. you wont get over her.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Worked for me.

Also, don't confuse love for lust.

Reply 11

asif007

Original post by Anonymous

Aw, that's so sad. Why did you keep asking her out when she clearly said no in the beginning?
Are you still in love with her?

After she said no the first time, I only asked her again twice in 3-4 years. It's not like I was consistently asking her all the time and coming across as pestering - I was just there in the background waiting for my chance. That never came. She got pretty upset after breaking up with her last few boyfriends and if you ask me, I always had a better relationship with her than those guys did. So after she said no the last time, I thought **** it and did my best to move on. It's hard when you have such great chemistry with someone but they're too scared to reciprocate.

Reply 12

Lord Samosa

Well, "love" is a strong word for someone you didn't actually date :lol:

Reply 13

Anonymous #2

Regardless of whether it is was love or lust or whatever, I had these strong feelings for a girl I have been friends with for a while.
For the last 3 or 4 years, I have always had these feelings for her.
I asked her out when I could not contain those feelings any more but each time she said no - admittedly I probably asked too often considering she said no once so why would it be a yes the next time.
Either way I couldn't get rid of these feelings because I saw her every day at school.
Now we are doing exams I see her less but still wish she felt the same way for me as I do for her.