Hijabi and finding it hard to find someone. Suggestions?

It's fine, because technically being Muslim we can't speak to the opposite gender if we aren't family.




No trust me, she must like them enough to meet up with them, there wouldn't be no other intention however she hasn't done it for a while. Most of the guys she speaks to mainly become her friends or she cuts contact completely.

Really?

Regardless of if they talk or not, it's their problem. I know most people who have sinned worst so they are in no position to judge about meeting up with people when they've dated and done much worse. If they want to gossip, it just shows that all they care about is reputation and stupid honour.

Yep, which alongside other rules, we've all broken.

Don't throw your mum under the bus just because she doesn't like the idea of you and your sister meeting up with "multiple men". If she loves someone and was sneaking out to meet them, then her actions make more sense. But if it gets around that she's meeting loads of muslim guys from online websites, regardless of how chaste she is, people will talk and it will compromise her chance of finding an actual husband.

Yep, which alongside other rules, we've all broken.

It's fine, because technically being Muslim we can't speak to the opposite gender if we aren't family.

Regardless of if they talk or not, it's their problem. I know most people who have sinned worst so they are in no position to judge about meeting up with people when they've dated and done much worse. If they want to gossip, it just shows that all they care about is reputation and stupid honour.

Yep, which alongside other rules, we've all broken.

Most non-Muslim guys wouldn't care of her "reputation"; she could still go with them if Muslim guys are too judgmental.

Yes she could, and? My advice is contingent on her wanting to marry a muslim, if she doesn't want to she can pretty much do anything she wants, lol.

Most non-Muslim guys wouldn't care of her "reputation"; she could still go with them if Muslim guys are too judgmental.

What you're saying is that Muslim guys are not really forgiving.

I've read that it's alright to converse with the opposite gender to discuss topics in a public forum like this as long as it's all respectable no joking etc.





I know what you mean but why give these people a chance? Tell your sister to have faith in Allah, maybe she could try asking around in the masjid, also I'm sure you probably have those marriage aunties, they seem to be great at matchmaking. And tell her to always introduce the guy to the family, if he's a good guy then he will want approach her father and things can insh'Allah progress from there.

Good girl. Hopefully, you'll break more than the petty ones.

I have so much yet to still learn lol.

The point here is not random people who "do worse", it's if she wants to find a decent man who doesn't sleep around, date around and polygamy behind her back she needs to have a good reputation. If she doesn't she will be stuck with the kind of guys who "have done worse", and she will be forced to suffer their asymmetric judgement.

It doesn't matter that it seems like loads of people are doing it, muslim girls after marrige don't do that , it is not common, not even in the west, yes some have bf's, some date once or twice, but "multiple males" from online websites is not something you hear often. If, as you say, she is after marriage then she needs to slow down a little. You may see it as judgement because you're 18 and can't wait, but unless she's going for a non muslim or non religious, liberal guy then even you talking about what she does online compromises her reputation.

No, there is a physical barrier online and this is not an intimate conversation, you are trying to deflect perceived judgement with this 'we're all sinner schtick'. Yes we are, but this is not about judgement, it's just that your post intimates that you see nothing wrong with what your sister is doing and would follow her footsteps if it weren't for your mother. Just be careful, outside of the internet and the approval of non muslims its nit the kind if route you can come back from.

It's fine, because technically being Muslim we can't speak to the opposite gender if we aren't family.

How absurd... The prophet Muhammed PBUH, his Companions and many early Muslim men used to speak to women they weren't related to, as recorded in the hadiths.

Who made up that rule? Probably some new age 'shayk'.

What you're saying is as a non-Muslim guy sex is something that needs to be "forgiven"?

No, what I am saying is if a muslim guy is decent and marriagable he can pick and choose, and if he has standards he won't pick someone who he thinks experienced multiple hookups. He won't do or say anything, he simply will marry someone else.

You have to understand that there are different situations between "virgin until marriage" and "multiple hookups". A girl who has had a few few long term boyfriends is not a slag.

Muslims girls after marriage will be married, why would they hang out with other guys? I don't think the type of guys you're mentioning exist around here, a lot of Muslim guys are shady and sleep around, get girls pregnant and then have the cheek to say they want to find the perfect Muslim wife. You shouldn't be so judgemental because that's not very Islamic.



That's because I'm a liberal Muslim, shock horror. We exist and I'm more cultural than religious, I have tried to be a better Muslim and still do but sometimes I find myself conflicted at times, this is totally personal yet no one follows Islam to the full, trust me there are worst girls out there sinning.

She is not a slag, but she is also not the type of woman a Muslim guy is going to marry, if he has kept himself chaste his whole life then its only fair that his wife have done the same.