Hijabi and finding it hard to find someone. Suggestions?

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You have to understand that there are different situations between "virgin until marriage" and "multiple hookups". A girl who has had a few few long term boyfriends is not a slag.

But if you read my posts you'd see that's my point? In the west muslim men will overlook former relationships, but if he found out that she was meeting up with strangers online, honestly that usually indicates multiple hookups with strangers. That would be totally unacceptable so yeah, if it got out a muslim girl would probably have to hunt for a guy like you who would "forgive", or who a guy for the lack of alternatives (is not attractive, or is overtly possesive so he scares off women, is rude so he scares off her family) , would "overlook" what she's done.

How I see it it's not ideal, lol. But obviously might be a godsend for you.

Reply 181

Propi

Original post by Josb

"Muslim guys staying chaste their whole life" lol, they are the thirstiest in clubs.

The kind of guys with good reputation in terms of marriage, uni, job and family tend to have also been religious and chaste, it's not uncommon, you won't meet them since they don't go to clubs.

Reply 182

mrambitious

Original post by Josb

"Muslim guys staying chaste their whole life" lol, they are the thirstiest in clubs.

The ones who go to clubs are not the kind of guys I am referring to, they more than likely don't even pray. But I think you already knew that...

There are loads of pious guys who have kept their virginity and who stick firmly to Islam, after all why risk the hereafter for some pleasure? It's not worth it, we can control ourselves until marriage insh'Allah.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 183

haboshti_1

do u want me to be honest with u! don't listen to anybody who say take ur hijabs off :s-smilie:

i know too many girls wearing hijabs and they was find muslim people and they married :smile:

and u know when any muslim guy like u he will not dating u and like that, he will go to ur parents house to engagement you :smile:

be confident of yourself and don't let anything make you feel frustration :wink:

You should note that everything Perfect Bride :biggrin:

trust god, because he will be with you to give you the best guy to married him :wink:

Just a little patience :smile:

Reply 184

mrambitious

Original post by haboshti_1

do u want me to be honest with u! don't listen to anybody who say take ur hijabs off :s-smilie:

i know too many girls wearing hijabs and they was find muslim people and they married :smile:

and u know when any muslim guy like u he will not dating u and like that, he will go to ur parents house to engagement you :smile:

be confident of yourself and don't let anything make you feel frustration :wink:

You should note that everything Perfect Bride :biggrin:

trust god, because he will be with you to give you the best guy to married him :wink:

Just a little patience :smile:

Reply 185

haboshti_1

Original post by Josb

"Muslim guys staying chaste their whole life" lol, they are the thirstiest in clubs.

huh-_- Not all your fingers are one -_-

These people doon't represent Islam :s-smilie:

and how do you know they are muslims!

not everyone who have brown skin or Arab/ Asian features mean they are muslims -_-

i hope u understand it -_-
Because it not written on the front face they are Muslims

Reply 186

Anonymous #1

Original post by haj101

The main advice I can give is don't rush into things, with time insha Allah you will definitely come across someone you like x

Original post by Lord Samosa

I guess just continue to try and talk to different people, sometimes you could meet someone via friends or something. Just be friendly and I'm sure you'll find someone you connect with eventually. Just don't put any pressure on yourself or get desperate lol.

Haha don't worry I swear to never stoop to the desperate level :afraid:

You're right about the pressure part. It's just that straight after my education, I can sense that my parents will heavily put pressure on me to get married ASAP. As they're doing with my older sister.

My friends are all females (due to being in a girls school & college) and they all have female friends. :s-smilie:

Reply 187

Anonymous #1

Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd

Have you tried Muslim speed-dating? I have a Pakistani Muslim (albeit non-hijabi friend) best mate and a friend of hers told her that this happens somewhere in Central London, and was trying to persuade my best mate to go! I can't remember where it is exactly but it was definitely a thing! Might be worth a try :smile:

Thanks for the suggestion. I might try that when I'm older.

Original post by z33

there's loads of Muslims here on TSR, take your pick :lol:

Original post by z33

http://www.singlemuslim.com//

Haha thanks but I'm good. :h:

Original post by frostyy

Wait, so you're fine with a relationship with a non-muslim dude?!

Original post by ODES_PDES

Try non Muslim
Hindus are cool, so are the East Asians

I'm alright with being with a non-muslim, as long as they're willing to convert. Since I'm looking for something serious.

My preference does lean towards East Asians. But the chances for that is even low.

1. They wouldn't approach me because of the hijab.
2. There are barely any in my area and uni.
3. I don't care about the race and looks as long as I connect with them, as I learnt that when falling for someone of my own race who I wasn't even remotely physically attracted to.

Original post by Anonymous

I know the struggle, believe me. I guess only time will tell, and Allah has everything planned so don't worry too much about it. I find that it helps to keep busy, then you don't think about it as much.

It's difficult to keep busy from this. Especially since I fell hard for someone I was getting to know from my course (a Muslim).

But got hurt at the end as he turned out to be the opposite of what I thought. A Fvckboy & a mess. :frown:

Original post by Einsteinj.n.r

Salaam sister.. I do really feel your pain, but just have patience and inshallah Allah will guide you through and you'll surely find someone in the near future, indeed Allah sets trials for the people he loves:-) stay strong!

Thanks, that was really comforting. :h:

Original post by getfunky!

Agree with this, don't rush to to find a husband before your parents suggest one, just be honest with your parents, they'll likely ask what you'd prefer in a husband.

Original post by getfunky!

Bruh, liberty involves the freedom of choosing what to wear, you may perceive it as restrictive but others would just as strongly believe the hijab to be liberating, ipso facto stop obstructing liberty in youth by being on "a high horse" and telling others to shed their ideals.Assuming OPs young, they still have plenty of time to find an ideal spouse, just have a bit of patience and talk to your parents.

If I talk to my parents, they going to think I want to get married now Lol :zomg:

I just want to get to know people at my own pace, rather than my parents pace. As they'll be rushing me to get married quick, once they start looking.

I don't mind this rush once I know I'm ready to get married.

Spoiler

Reply 188

Anonymous #7

Original post by Anonymous

I'm alright with being with a non-muslim, as long as they're willing to convert. Since I'm looking for something serious.

That's a recipe for a disaster right there. Once you get emotionally attached to someone, what if they don't convert? It's just asking for trouble.

If you want to marry a Muslim then you should look for one who is already one.

Reply 189

Anonymous #1

Original post by noticemesenpai

Just loled at the take off the hijab comment's :laugh:

anyways OP. You'll find someone university, university always creates events and try attending to society events. Stuff like this takes time, don't worry! And don't rush!

You're right, I'll try not to rush.

But I barely have uni events and societies. They're also inactive too. :s-smilie:

Original post by cuddle_me_in

She said someone of another race, not faith.
She means a Muslim of another race.

I don't mind another faith too as long as they're willing to convert.

Reply 190

Anonymous #8

Original post by Anonymous

I'm alright with being with a non-muslim, as long as they're willing to convert. Since I'm looking for something serious.

That's a recipe for disaster right there.

You should look for someone who already has what you would accept rather than looking for someone who may or may not change into someone else for you. If you get emotionally attached and the guy doesn't want to convert, you're going to hurt.

Reply 191

Anonymous #8

Original post by Anonymous

I don't mind another faith too as long as they're willing to convert.

You do mind other faith if you want the boy to convert :redface:

Reply 192

Anonymous #1

Original post by Tawheed

ask this on the isoc, not on tsr to mainly liberals and atheists.

Thanks for the suggestion, I'll do that. :smile:

Original post by Serine Soul

Ask friends, cousin sisters etc. Find out if there's other muslim guys in the uni :yes:

Thanks

I'll ask my friends.
But my cousin sisters are VERY traditional, so they wouldn't dare to talk to another guy.

Reply 193

Anonymous #8

Original post by Rhythmical

Don't worry, I'll make you proud. :biggrin:

He's one of the people always attacking Muslims and Islam. :s-smilie:

Reply 194

Profesh

Have you considered removing unnecessary, faith-based restrictions to your peripheral vision?

Reply 195

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Would you consider yourself to be hot out of hijab?

I can't tell since I see myself everyday. But I do get polarised opinions on my appearance.
I've been told that I fit the South Asian beauty standards than the Western one.

Original post by Mimir

Flash them guys a bit of hair :sexface:

Lmao. I actually found that funny, that actually made my day.
Haven't laughed this much in months.

Reply 196

Anonymous #1

Original post by chillygirl

go to islamic events, mosque, charity events etc , let people know your ready to get married ...inshallah you'll get libe waiting behind your door :wink:

and btw if your looking for someone religious tell your dad to go fajr prayer to the mosque and belive me therell be someone righteous :smile:

Haha thanks for the suggestions, I might try some of them. :tongue:

But I didn't say I'm ready to get married, that'll happen almost a decade later.

I just want to get to know people at the moment.

Original post by sfaraj

1- dont take your hijab off that is a sign of weakness
2- dont rush
3- never take advice from tsr non-muslims
4- have you tried mosques and youth event, youre bound to find a couple of guys
5- even if your parent do find you a guy, i doubt he'd be that bad, you may just connect, its nor forced marriage you have a say
6- im a muslim as well if you need someone :smile:

Original post by moinul98

I guess everyone else is saying the same thing, but don't rush a relationship, it'll come when it comes, and that'll be when the time is right

1. I won't

2. You're right I shouldn't.

3. Haha Lol I learnt my lesson.

4. Thank for this suggestion, I'll try that.

5. I know the arranged route won't turned forced in my family. I'm fine with that route, but I also want to maximise my chances of finding someone I connect with, that's why I'm also looking myself. I fell for someone hard who turned out to be a fvckboy. I'm just afraid I won't find someone I connected with as much as him. :frown:

6. Haha thanks.

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Reply 197

Anonymous #1

Original post by habibtii

some mosques have this thing of letting people sign up for marriage. so, It's a kinda matchmaking thing. you sign up, give some written info about you, others sign up too. the mosque gets back to you if theyve been met with a potential candidate.

to me, this is not my ideal way of marrying but I know a few couples who got married in this manner and they find it a good system.

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll try that when I'm older. Once I'm ready to get married.

since these people signing up are likely to be older and would be expecting to get married sooner.

Reply 198

Anonymous #1

Original post by haboshti_1

do u want me to be honest with u! don't listen to anybody who say take ur hijabs off :s-smilie:

i know too many girls wearing hijabs and they was find muslim people and they married :smile:

and u know when any muslim guy like u he will not dating u and like that, he will go to ur parents house to engagement you :smile:

be confident of yourself and don't let anything make you feel frustration :wink:

You should note that everything Perfect Bride :biggrin:

trust god, because he will be with you to give you the best guy to married him :wink:

Just a little patience :smile:

Aww thanks, that actually did make me feel better. :smile:

But what you said about 'any Muslim' guys acting like that towards a hijabi isn't always true.

One of the very few Muslim guys at my uni turned out to be a fvckboy who was gonna keep me as time pass.

Original post by Anonymous

I guess that's something I should think about when trying to find someone. It seems like a huge gamble.

Original post by Anonymous

You do mind other faith if you want the boy to convert :redface:

I meat I don't mind getting to know people of other faiths. But since I'm looking for a relationship which would lead to marriage, I would want them to convert if I want to take that step with them.

Reply 199

Anonymous #8

Original post by Anonymous

I guess that's something I should think about when trying to find someone. It seems like a huge gamble.

I meat I don't mind getting to know people of other faiths. But since I'm looking for a relationship which would lead to marriage, I would want them to convert if I want to take that step with them.

I think you should think about where your actions could lead because this doesn't sound a good plan. This can go from anywhere from zina to broken hearts to a real conversion. If I were a betting man, I wouldn't bet on this. :tongue: