Mature students on fresher's week
I’m a 28 year old guy and am due to start a degree course in September and have been wondering... if I should go out on the razz on fresher’s week?...and if I did..would I look like a raging bellend?...What with the majority of people being 10 years younger than me n everything...and what proportion of mature students go out on fresher’s week? (Rough estimate – I’m not asking for Home Office statistics or anything)
I'd like to meet new people and have a laugh but by the same token wouldn't want to compromise anyone else's university experience and youth...considering I'm pretty much coming to the end of mine... I'm also struggling to think what I would have in common with 18 year olds and in attempting to ingratiate myself fear I will come over as an unintended Saxondale parody. Particularly so when scanning the 'Latest Discussions' subjects on the right hand side of this page; "Finding it difficult to find a time to masturbate", “Girls are you attracted to “action”?”, “How historically accurate is Pirates of the Carribean?”, “Punched the girl I like by accident, well not really” etc.... I’m sure topics like these are vital discussion for teenagers but I feel I would be able to offer very little input and thus feel left out / a bit of a ****.
Ultimately my main focus is to study, and as mentioned I feel I’ve done my share of partying and messing around when I was younger so won’t be going out much, not least because I will be living in my own home which is a fair drive from campus. Fresher’s week, seasonal events, and end of year / graduation type events however, I feel are events where it would perhaps be best to make some semblance of an effort to socialise.
So what is the best course of action; Stay in with an 8 pack of John Smiths watching Garrow’s Law in my tweed jacket whilst retaining a modicum of dignity.... or..... go out, get plastered and try to fit in with the kids?...Best case scenario: A great time is had and it turns out to be the fresher’s week equivalent of Old School. Worst case scenario: A date with the magistrates and turns out to be the fresher’s week equivalent of Leaving Las Vegas.
I'd like to meet new people and have a laugh but by the same token wouldn't want to compromise anyone else's university experience and youth...considering I'm pretty much coming to the end of mine... I'm also struggling to think what I would have in common with 18 year olds and in attempting to ingratiate myself fear I will come over as an unintended Saxondale parody. Particularly so when scanning the 'Latest Discussions' subjects on the right hand side of this page; "Finding it difficult to find a time to masturbate", “Girls are you attracted to “action”?”, “How historically accurate is Pirates of the Carribean?”, “Punched the girl I like by accident, well not really” etc.... I’m sure topics like these are vital discussion for teenagers but I feel I would be able to offer very little input and thus feel left out / a bit of a ****.
Ultimately my main focus is to study, and as mentioned I feel I’ve done my share of partying and messing around when I was younger so won’t be going out much, not least because I will be living in my own home which is a fair drive from campus. Fresher’s week, seasonal events, and end of year / graduation type events however, I feel are events where it would perhaps be best to make some semblance of an effort to socialise.
So what is the best course of action; Stay in with an 8 pack of John Smiths watching Garrow’s Law in my tweed jacket whilst retaining a modicum of dignity.... or..... go out, get plastered and try to fit in with the kids?...Best case scenario: A great time is had and it turns out to be the fresher’s week equivalent of Old School. Worst case scenario: A date with the magistrates and turns out to be the fresher’s week equivalent of Leaving Las Vegas.
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I'm coming to uni as a mature student, though I am 22 so some might say that doesn't really count. But even I look at some of the topics on this forum and shake my head. Not all 18 years olds are like that!
I think you'll find people at uni who have similar interests to you regardless of their age. My main focus at uni is also going to be studying, I'm not interested in getting drunk and going out every night of the week, so I'll hopefully find some people who also have the same kind of views.
I'd say give it a go, go out and see who you meet, but that doesn't mean you have to get plastered to fit in.
I think you'll find people at uni who have similar interests to you regardless of their age. My main focus at uni is also going to be studying, I'm not interested in getting drunk and going out every night of the week, so I'll hopefully find some people who also have the same kind of views.
I'd say give it a go, go out and see who you meet, but that doesn't mean you have to get plastered to fit in.
Original post by Wes_Mantooth
I’m a 28 year old guy and am due to start a degree course in September and have been wondering... if I should go out on the razz on fresher’s week?...and if I did..would I look like a raging bellend?...What with the majority of people being 10 years younger than me n everything...and what proportion of mature students go out on fresher’s week? (Rough estimate – I’m not asking for Home Office statistics or anything)
I'd like to meet new people and have a laugh but by the same token wouldn't want to compromise anyone else's university experience and youth...considering I'm pretty much coming to the end of mine... I'm also struggling to think what I would have in common with 18 year olds and in attempting to ingratiate myself fear I will come over as an unintended Saxondale parody. Particularly so when scanning the 'Latest Discussions' subjects on the right hand side of this page; "Finding it difficult to find a time to masturbate", “Girls are you attracted to “action”?”, “How historically accurate is Pirates of the Carribean?”, “Punched the girl I like by accident, well not really” etc.... I’m sure topics like these are vital discussion for teenagers but I feel I would be able to offer very little input and thus feel left out / a bit of a ****.
I'd like to meet new people and have a laugh but by the same token wouldn't want to compromise anyone else's university experience and youth...considering I'm pretty much coming to the end of mine... I'm also struggling to think what I would have in common with 18 year olds and in attempting to ingratiate myself fear I will come over as an unintended Saxondale parody. Particularly so when scanning the 'Latest Discussions' subjects on the right hand side of this page; "Finding it difficult to find a time to masturbate", “Girls are you attracted to “action”?”, “How historically accurate is Pirates of the Carribean?”, “Punched the girl I like by accident, well not really” etc.... I’m sure topics like these are vital discussion for teenagers but I feel I would be able to offer very little input and thus feel left out / a bit of a ****.
I think you're underestimating teenagers, to be honest. I'm 17 and I can only speak for myself, but I would be more than happy to be friends with someone who was 28 (not even old, by the way), just as long as I was compatible with them. Obviously if I don't get on with somebody, then I don't get on with them and it's as simple as that... but if I do get on with someone then I will do so regardless of how old they are. As for how much you'd have in common with younger people, I think you'd be surprised. It's a pleasure to say that TSR is not representative of all young people. A lot of the threads on here are troll threads, and the rest are people asking about embarrassing problems that they wouldn't want to approach their friends with because, you guessed it, they would feel immature/stupid. There is a wide variety of people at university and although a few will be quite prejudiced against mature students or talk about completely stupid things 24/7, that doesn't really matter because that calibre of person isn't worth being friends with anyway.
Original post by Wes_Mantooth
Ultimately my main focus is to study, and as mentioned I feel I’ve done my share of partying and messing around when I was younger so won’t be going out much, not least because I will be living in my own home which is a fair drive from campus. Fresher’s week, seasonal events, and end of year / graduation type events however, I feel are events where it would perhaps be best to make some semblance of an effort to socialise.
So what is the best course of action; Stay in with an 8 pack of John Smiths watching Garrow’s Law in my tweed jacket whilst retaining a modicum of dignity.... or..... go out, get plastered and try to fit in with the kids?...Best case scenario: A great time is had and it turns out to be the fresher’s week equivalent of Old School. Worst case scenario: A date with the magistrates and turns out to be the fresher’s week equivalent of Leaving Las Vegas.
So what is the best course of action; Stay in with an 8 pack of John Smiths watching Garrow’s Law in my tweed jacket whilst retaining a modicum of dignity.... or..... go out, get plastered and try to fit in with the kids?...Best case scenario: A great time is had and it turns out to be the fresher’s week equivalent of Old School. Worst case scenario: A date with the magistrates and turns out to be the fresher’s week equivalent of Leaving Las Vegas.
I would say definitely go out. You have more chance of meeting friends if you do than if you stay in, in which case you have zero chance. If you want to get plastered because that's how you have fun, then absolutely. But if you want to get plastered just so you aren't the only sober/tipsy one, and so the younger ones will think you're cool, then don't. Just go out, enjoy yourself (plastered or not) and you will meet people, some of whom you will like and some of whom you won't. Everyone's in the same boat at uni, age is but a number, blah blah. You seem like someone who has a good sense of humour anyway, so you're already looking good for meeting people.
(edited 12 years ago)
I don't really get this whole age thing but then for a long time I worked in a sports related industry where it was as normal to see 40 somethings on all night benders as it was 20 somethings. In fact the younger ones just didn't have the staying power so were often out of it by the time the real fun started.
Go and have a good time. If you are seen as someone who knows how to enjoy himself then you'll get treated as such and will always be included. I doubt anyone will realise you're older unless you've aged unfortunately (tip, if you're going grey colour your hair).
Go and have a good time. If you are seen as someone who knows how to enjoy himself then you'll get treated as such and will always be included. I doubt anyone will realise you're older unless you've aged unfortunately (tip, if you're going grey colour your hair).
I have been suffering with the same reservations as the OP'er myself.
I will be 30 when I start Uni. I don’t feel old, but I remember that when I was 18 years old, 30 seemed so bloody old it was unfathomable. I know I will get some of that, but I also know that it’s common interests and tastes that bring people together, not age ranges.
I am aiming to try to get involved in as much of the social aspect as I can, but I am experienced enough to know that if I don’t like something I will walk away from it. I am going to join a few societies/clubs and I will head out on social nights as well, but all at my own pace. It’s about making the effort to enjoy these things and the company of the people you’re with, but at the same time not being miserable whilst you are doing it & having the ability to walk away and try something else if I am not enjoying myself.
Hmmm – I am not sure if that last paragraph is particularly clear or not, but I hope you get the point I am trying to make which is “make the effort to get to know people when at Uni, and try to have fun and you might just enjoy yourself and make some new friends”.
I will be 30 when I start Uni. I don’t feel old, but I remember that when I was 18 years old, 30 seemed so bloody old it was unfathomable. I know I will get some of that, but I also know that it’s common interests and tastes that bring people together, not age ranges.
I am aiming to try to get involved in as much of the social aspect as I can, but I am experienced enough to know that if I don’t like something I will walk away from it. I am going to join a few societies/clubs and I will head out on social nights as well, but all at my own pace. It’s about making the effort to enjoy these things and the company of the people you’re with, but at the same time not being miserable whilst you are doing it & having the ability to walk away and try something else if I am not enjoying myself.
Hmmm – I am not sure if that last paragraph is particularly clear or not, but I hope you get the point I am trying to make which is “make the effort to get to know people when at Uni, and try to have fun and you might just enjoy yourself and make some new friends”.
I went out on the last night of freshers week. The big party. In retrospect I probably shouldn't have bothered.
OK, so my fancy dress costume went down well - I was wearing a Moroccan djellabah with the hood up, wraparound shades, and pointy yellow slippers. Lots of people wanted their pic taken with me, anyway. Then I realised I was being shadowed by security. AFter a while they realised I wasn't dealing and left me alone.
I found that it's quite difficult to get into the swing of things when you are stone cold sober. Given that that has been my condition for the last 11 years, you'd have thought I had realised by now, but no. I would get into it for a little bit, couple of minutes, and then it would be like 'my knees hurt; this music's awfully loud; goodness - what is that girl wearing'.
It also dawned on me that dance music made a lot more sense when you were standing in a warehouse circa 1990 grinning like a loon for assorted pharmaceutical reasons. Spotting a Red Bull bar, I thought that a caffeine rush might help me get into it a bit, so I headed over. But they would only do Red Bull with a double vodka. I explained I didn't drink alcohol, and was pointed to the downstairs bar. There, miracle of miracles, I found I could get a cup of tea. So I stood outside smoking my pipe with a cup of tea, talking to youngsters in varying stages of inebriation who probably thought they were hallucinating.
Anyway, after a couple of hours I'd had enough. I had the beginnings of a headache, assorted aches and pains, and had smoked so much I felt like a kipper. I shuffled off in my djellabah - this is at about 3 am now - and was just about to cross the road when two policemen on mountain bikes rode up. "Evening Gandalf", one says. "And where are you off to then?" I explained I was on my way back to halls. "Oh, a student. Right, off you go then. Look out for orcs." And so off I went.
I posted about the chat with the police on my facebook the next morning, and was duly pronounced an absolute legend by my classmates. I'm thirty-eight years old, by the way. The old magic's still there
OK, so my fancy dress costume went down well - I was wearing a Moroccan djellabah with the hood up, wraparound shades, and pointy yellow slippers. Lots of people wanted their pic taken with me, anyway. Then I realised I was being shadowed by security. AFter a while they realised I wasn't dealing and left me alone.
I found that it's quite difficult to get into the swing of things when you are stone cold sober. Given that that has been my condition for the last 11 years, you'd have thought I had realised by now, but no. I would get into it for a little bit, couple of minutes, and then it would be like 'my knees hurt; this music's awfully loud; goodness - what is that girl wearing'.
It also dawned on me that dance music made a lot more sense when you were standing in a warehouse circa 1990 grinning like a loon for assorted pharmaceutical reasons. Spotting a Red Bull bar, I thought that a caffeine rush might help me get into it a bit, so I headed over. But they would only do Red Bull with a double vodka. I explained I didn't drink alcohol, and was pointed to the downstairs bar. There, miracle of miracles, I found I could get a cup of tea. So I stood outside smoking my pipe with a cup of tea, talking to youngsters in varying stages of inebriation who probably thought they were hallucinating.
Anyway, after a couple of hours I'd had enough. I had the beginnings of a headache, assorted aches and pains, and had smoked so much I felt like a kipper. I shuffled off in my djellabah - this is at about 3 am now - and was just about to cross the road when two policemen on mountain bikes rode up. "Evening Gandalf", one says. "And where are you off to then?" I explained I was on my way back to halls. "Oh, a student. Right, off you go then. Look out for orcs." And so off I went.
I posted about the chat with the police on my facebook the next morning, and was duly pronounced an absolute legend by my classmates. I'm thirty-eight years old, by the way. The old magic's still there
Original post by Wes_Mantooth
I’m a 28 year old guy and am due to start a degree course in September and have been wondering... if I should go out on the razz on fresher’s week?...and if I did..would I look like a raging bellend?...What with the majority of people being 10 years younger than me n everything...and what proportion of mature students go out on fresher’s week? (Rough estimate – I’m not asking for Home Office statistics or anything)
I'd like to meet new people and have a laugh but by the same token wouldn't want to compromise anyone else's university experience and youth...considering I'm pretty much coming to the end of mine... I'm also struggling to think what I would have in common with 18 year olds and in attempting to ingratiate myself fear I will come over as an unintended Saxondale parody. Particularly so when scanning the 'Latest Discussions' subjects on the right hand side of this page; "Finding it difficult to find a time to masturbate", “Girls are you attracted to “action”?”, “How historically accurate is Pirates of the Carribean?”, “Punched the girl I like by accident, well not really” etc.... I’m sure topics like these are vital discussion for teenagers but I feel I would be able to offer very little input and thus feel left out / a bit of a ****.
Ultimately my main focus is to study, and as mentioned I feel I’ve done my share of partying and messing around when I was younger so won’t be going out much, not least because I will be living in my own home which is a fair drive from campus. Fresher’s week, seasonal events, and end of year / graduation type events however, I feel are events where it would perhaps be best to make some semblance of an effort to socialise.
So what is the best course of action; Stay in with an 8 pack of John Smiths watching Garrow’s Law in my tweed jacket whilst retaining a modicum of dignity.... or..... go out, get plastered and try to fit in with the kids?...Best case scenario: A great time is had and it turns out to be the fresher’s week equivalent of Old School. Worst case scenario: A date with the magistrates and turns out to be the fresher’s week equivalent of Leaving Las Vegas.
I'd like to meet new people and have a laugh but by the same token wouldn't want to compromise anyone else's university experience and youth...considering I'm pretty much coming to the end of mine... I'm also struggling to think what I would have in common with 18 year olds and in attempting to ingratiate myself fear I will come over as an unintended Saxondale parody. Particularly so when scanning the 'Latest Discussions' subjects on the right hand side of this page; "Finding it difficult to find a time to masturbate", “Girls are you attracted to “action”?”, “How historically accurate is Pirates of the Carribean?”, “Punched the girl I like by accident, well not really” etc.... I’m sure topics like these are vital discussion for teenagers but I feel I would be able to offer very little input and thus feel left out / a bit of a ****.
Ultimately my main focus is to study, and as mentioned I feel I’ve done my share of partying and messing around when I was younger so won’t be going out much, not least because I will be living in my own home which is a fair drive from campus. Fresher’s week, seasonal events, and end of year / graduation type events however, I feel are events where it would perhaps be best to make some semblance of an effort to socialise.
So what is the best course of action; Stay in with an 8 pack of John Smiths watching Garrow’s Law in my tweed jacket whilst retaining a modicum of dignity.... or..... go out, get plastered and try to fit in with the kids?...Best case scenario: A great time is had and it turns out to be the fresher’s week equivalent of Old School. Worst case scenario: A date with the magistrates and turns out to be the fresher’s week equivalent of Leaving Las Vegas.
Hahaha such a funny post, hope I end up at uni with you! Can relate so much
I was agonising about this a little myself. I'm 40 and I don't want to give everyone the idea in the first week that I am a boring old git (perhaps I am tho lol) but equally, I don't really want to go nightclubbing til dawn if I can avoid it.
Guess I'll just have to play it by ear. Perhaps I'll be able to hang out with the other older types and we could go for a nice meal and a few drinks afterwards. Much more up my street these days
There were around 25% of the folks at the interview were 30+ and I think Archaeology is likely to attract a few of us "coffin dodgers" if I'm lucky...
Guess I'll just have to play it by ear. Perhaps I'll be able to hang out with the other older types and we could go for a nice meal and a few drinks afterwards. Much more up my street these days
There were around 25% of the folks at the interview were 30+ and I think Archaeology is likely to attract a few of us "coffin dodgers" if I'm lucky...
Im 35 this year and starting uni, and I will be making the most of all the social activities the uni wants to provide, including freshers week. After all, its for ALL students, not just the young ones. And I personally dont think that older people can't go out and have a good time, in fact, its nicer when your older as you dont feel you have to impress or keep up with your mates as much.
It's all a state of mind, to be honest. If you're confident (read: not creepy) and have an element of charm then you'll be seen as the 'cool older guy/girl'. I hope I'm able to pull it off, lol.
Original post by TheMasterfulChimp
It's all a state of mind, to be honest. If you're confident (read: not creepy) and have an element of charm then you'll be seen as the 'cool older guy/girl'. I hope I'm able to pull it off, lol.
Haha me too. Should start watching some 80s American frat boy comedies just to make sure we act as cool as possible. Cant go wrong.
I'm slightly anxious about Freshers Week, but only as I don't know what to expect at all. I'm not worried about making friends at university really - as bad as it sounds, I'm only going there to get my degree. I drink socially (maybe once a year lol) but not stupidly and I don't understand to need to act like a penis just because you've had one too many drinks. I don't smoke and I don't rave/party and haven't for the last 6 years or so, so I suppose I won't go down well with the youngsters.
If I click with someone then hey, if I don't - then so be it; naturally I'm a very reserved person who loves my own company. There's an intern society that I will join though as it will benefit me in my final year.
If I click with someone then hey, if I don't - then so be it; naturally I'm a very reserved person who loves my own company. There's an intern society that I will join though as it will benefit me in my final year.
Speaking as a teen I'd have no problem associating and hanging out with someone older. (Okay I'd never expect to hang out with someone 40 but there's no harm in testing the waters. It's about the person)
Obviously yes I'd have expectations and make assumptions like most people would. But when you get to know someone those usually loosen up. You can go clubbing that's fine. I've been clubbing around older people (not students though) and they seem to have a great time. Yes maybe it's different because they're with people their own age but I'm sure you'll get past that.
Also you're going to Uni to study really. So making friends and pleasing everyone probably won't even be that big of a deal! But even so I'm sure people will organise a range of events which doesn't just involve dressing like a goon and getting waaaasstteeed. Societies and stuff would surely love to have you. It's what you make of it all really.
Just don't lecture with the 'Back in my day' spiel.
Obviously yes I'd have expectations and make assumptions like most people would. But when you get to know someone those usually loosen up. You can go clubbing that's fine. I've been clubbing around older people (not students though) and they seem to have a great time. Yes maybe it's different because they're with people their own age but I'm sure you'll get past that.
Also you're going to Uni to study really. So making friends and pleasing everyone probably won't even be that big of a deal! But even so I'm sure people will organise a range of events which doesn't just involve dressing like a goon and getting waaaasstteeed. Societies and stuff would surely love to have you. It's what you make of it all really.
Just don't lecture with the 'Back in my day' spiel.
It really wont be that big a deal when you are there, younger people are usually quite accepting. The only way you will make yourself look bad is if you start making clumsy attempts to hit on 18 year old girls, then you will just look naff.
Original post by MagicNMedicine
It really wont be that big a deal when you are there, younger people are usually quite accepting. The only way you will make yourself look bad is if you start making clumsy attempts to hit on 18 year old girls, then you will just look naff.
In your opinion, would it be acceptable for a 22 year old to hit on 18 year old girls?
Original post by accesstohe
In your opinion, would it be acceptable for a 22 year old to hit on 18 year old girls?
I personally believe that, the older you get, the more sublte/passive you have to be when it comes to 'pulling' or whatever in order to avoid being branded some kind of sexual predator or pervert.
I certainly won't be proactive when it comes to the opposite sex due to my age (25).
Original post by TheMasterfulChimp
I personally believe that, the older you get, the more sublte/passive you have to be when it comes to 'pulling' or whatever in order to avoid being branded some kind of sexual predator or pervert.
I certainly won't be proactive when it comes to the opposite sex due to my age (25).
I certainly won't be proactive when it comes to the opposite sex due to my age (25).
I thought it was pretty normal for guys in their early-mid 20s to go out on the pull for girls 18+. Also, alot of the time, girls prefer older guys anyway.
You have me thinking now though lol, wouldn't want to be branded a 22 year old paedo!
I think it depends on the circumstances: What you just described is perfectly acceptable outside the confines of the campus ('Clubbin' with the locals), but from my experience most (female) University students seem to act fairly defensively when it comes to bars/nightclubs on-campus or by extension student nights in town; anyone that doesn't fit the typical 18 year old student with A-levels norm is seen as some kind of interloper.
Mind you, this is partially based of my experience at Essex University, so it could be different up in ol' Norfolk land.
Mind you, this is partially based of my experience at Essex University, so it could be different up in ol' Norfolk land.
I hope you understood what I meant in the above post, since I haven't really had time to flesh out my point; i have an airplane to catch!
27 and in exactly the same boat, am staying in halls and to be honest i'm thinking I want to make some new good friends, i'm there to work and get a degree. However in freshers week I am going to make sure I go to as many events as I can fit in and join all the socs that i'm interested in, just to make sure that I meet people, I'm not a huge drinker now i'm a bit older so I will be going out and just having a couple but with the aim of getting to know people.
The age gap does worry me a little bit but I think that you will meet like minded people no matter what there age and i'm going to try and remain open minded!
The age gap does worry me a little bit but I think that you will meet like minded people no matter what there age and i'm going to try and remain open minded!
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