The Student Room Group

sex before marriage....

Scroll to see replies

Original post by The gains kinggg
As am i :wink:


:hand:
Original post by Asuna Yuuki
:hand:


:frown:
Original post by boredasf
haha yes, i'm very familiar with sheikh yaqoubi, my family are all very interested in sufi scholars such as imam ghazali, shaykh abdul qadir jilani etc.

thanks for the advice! really appreciate it! i'm a girl btw lol

i used to be really practicing, i wore hijab for about 10 years of my life. i'm 22 and decided to take it off 2 years ago.
ever since then i feel as though my faith isn't as strong. but at the same time i want to do the things non-muslims do because i don't see what is so bad about them.


That's brilliant :smile: Most of the greatest figures in Islam were Sufi's :smile:

My apologies xD dudette*

I understand that. I'm a guy, I had a "zulfa" (long hair like our Prophet's) and I was very religious up to a certain point. I then cut my hair around a year ago. This didn't affect my religion so much because I was still practicing but slowly and very gradually I began to lose aspects of my religion. And I might be advising you now, but even I'm not a very good muslim, by advising you I think I remind myself about it too. I completely understand exactly the feeling of "whats so bad about it anyways" e.g. going to parties etc.
Both these links pertain to "sex before marriage" by Shaykh hamza Yusuf where he tries to explain the wisdom behind the ruling.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAADsLsT1yM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R64dZDAQNAo


I think since you're a girl you should be even more cautious. You know what guys are like these days, hell even I know what guys are like these days. We're lustful and we'll do what we can for that little bit of pleasure and when we've had our fill we just leave. That is what Islam's protecting you from. If you feel the impulse to have sex before marriage, Islam advises that you marry as soon as possible to avoid the sin and the consequences.

At the end of the day there is ALWAYS a wisdom behind a ruling and at the end of the day Islam wants whats best for you and if Islam is not making you happy then somethings wrong with your Islam.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 23
Original post by The gains kinggg
As am i :wink:


:woo:
I'm a Muslim girl and as a girl in general, I would wanna give away my "gift" to someone who deserves it and in this realistic case, it would be my future husband. Think of it this way, if you're eating at a restaurant do you want a table that's already been used and not cleaned up or a new clean table? I would defo wanna bang a guy who's "clean" rather than a guy who's been inside more women than my fingers can count. And I'm pretty sure this would be the same thought for majority.
everyone does it so you wanna do it now?
Reply 26
Original post by Someboady
That's brilliant :smile: Most of the greatest figures in Islam were Sufi's :smile:

My apologies xD dudette*

I understand that. I'm a guy, I had a "zulfa" (long hair like our Prophet's) and I was very religious up to a certain point. I then cut my hair around a year ago. This didn't affect my religion so much because I was still practicing but slowly and very gradually I began to lose aspects of my religion. And I might be advising you now, but even I'm not a very good muslim, by advising you I think I remind myself about it too. I completely understand exactly the feeling of "whats so bad about it anyways" e.g. going to parties etc.
Both these links pertain to "sex before marriage" by Shaykh hamza Yusuf where he tries to explain the wisdom behind the ruling.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAADsLsT1yM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R64dZDAQNAo


I think since you're a girl you should be even more cautious. You know what guys are like these days, hell even I know what guys are like these days. We're lustful and we'll do what we can for that little bit of pleasure and when we've had our fill we just leave. That is what Islam's protecting you from. If you feel the impulse to have sex before marriage, Islam advises that you marry as soon as possible to avoid the sin and the consequences.

At the end of the day there is ALWAYS a wisdom behind a ruling and at the end of the day Islam wants whats best for you and if Islam is not making you happy then somethings wrong with your Islam.


yeah that's true.
it's kinda hard to stay away from these things especially living in a western country where it's the norm to have sex before marriage.
i'm dating a guy atm and he comes from a muslim family, but he's agnostic :/
so i think he has influenced me a lot to question islam.
but the thing is, i actually agree with him on a lot the things that he says.

i'm a lost soul atm... lol :/
Reply 27
Original post by Anonymous
everyone does it so you wanna do it now?


i've already done it. -__-
I kind of get you i mean im slipping in between the phase of islam and being an agnostic...i mean i think that people only care about sins and doing bad things so that they do not go to hell or, whatever but if you believe in a religion just to get a passport into heaven surely that is wrong as you are using god? i dont really know religion is confusing
Original post by boredasf
yeah that's true.
it's kinda hard to stay away from these things especially living in a western country where it's the norm to have sex before marriage.
i'm dating a guy atm and he comes from a muslim family, but he's agnostic :/
so i think he has influenced me a lot to question islam.
but the thing is, i actually agree with him on a lot the things that he says.

i'm a lost soul atm... lol :/


It is very hard but balance in life is key between religion and the world. Someone I find quite inspiring is this Muslim Vlogger who lives in America and I feel like he's really found balance in his life :smile: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6hRCn1SyRJBv8KiZvxhGaQ

Ah, I see, again its the company you keep. I dated a white atheist girl for a short period of time but idk I feel like God's always there to save my neck from major sin before it gets bad. You definitely, and I cannot stress this enough, you have to find better company. The company you keep is one of the most important things of life I kid you not. The time when I dated the girl was when I was surrounded by friends who encouraged it and made it sound fun. I won't tell you to break up with this guy because I don't have that authority and frankly I wouldn't listen to a guy over the internet who told me to do that either. And the fact that he's made you question Islam is enough to tell you whether he's right for you. Don't get me wrong..question Islam as much as you want..it always has the answers... but when the questioning leads to doubt, that's when it kind of becomes a problem.
All I can say is Hold on... hold on to Islam as much as you can. There is a better place than this world. ^_^
Original post by boredasf
i've already done it. -__-


oh, how old are you?
Reply 31
Original post by Someboady
It is very hard but balance in life is key between religion and the world. Someone I find quite inspiring is this Muslim Vlogger who lives in America and I feel like he's really found balance in his life :smile: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6hRCn1SyRJBv8KiZvxhGaQ

Ah, I see, again its the company you keep. I dated a white atheist girl for a short period of time but idk I feel like God's always there to save my neck from major sin before it gets bad. You definitely, and I cannot stress this enough, you have to find better company. The company you keep is one of the most important things of life I kid you not. The time when I dated the girl was when I was surrounded by friends who encouraged it and made it sound fun. I won't tell you to break up with this guy because I don't have that authority and frankly I wouldn't listen to a guy over the internet who told me to do that either. And the fact that he's made you question Islam is enough to tell you whether he's right for you. Don't get me wrong..question Islam as much as you want..it always has the answers... but when the questioning leads to doubt, that's when it kind of becomes a problem.
All I can say is Hold on... hold on to Islam as much as you can. There is a better place than this world. ^_^


i think it's easier for muslim guys to find good company. guys aren't bitchy, you all get along and are chilled out lol girls are the opposite. i've always found it hard to make good friends tbh.

maybe i'm going through a phase.. i dunno.

but thanks anyway for the advice! :smile: x
Reply 32
Original post by Anonymous
oh, how old are you?


22 lol
LOL so many "Muslims" are confused af and for some reason one sin is so much bigger than the other.

I know some muslims that aren't virgins but yet they refuse to eat harbios :/ how tf does that work out? Are they both not haram?
Reply 34
Original post by loveleest
LOL so many "Muslims" are confused af and for some reason one sin is so much bigger than the other.

I know some muslims that aren't virgins but yet they refuse to eat harbios :/ how tf does that work out? Are they both not haram?


LOL i agree!
they contradict themselves..
Original post by boredasf
22 lol


cool, are u paki? how often do you have sex and is it worth it lmao
Reply 36
Original post by Anonymous
cool, are u paki? how often do you have sex and is it worth it lmao


LOL.
Original post by boredasf
LOL.


I'm serious, I'm 21 and a virgin which is quite an accomplishment itself rofl I'm thinking if the opportunity comes shall I just do it or stay religious
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a Muslim girl and as a girl in general, I would wanna give away my "gift" to someone who deserves it and in this realistic case, it would be my future husband. Think of it this way, if you're eating at a restaurant do you want a table that's already been used and not cleaned up or a new clean table? I would defo wanna bang a guy who's "clean" rather than a guy who's been inside more women than my fingers can count. And I'm pretty sure this would be the same thought for majority.


That's the worst analogy I've heard. You know every table in a restaurant has been used before, right? Even if it's appearance deceives you, you know you're not the first to use it. And likening someone's virginity to a clean restaurant table is just so absurd. :rofl:
Reply 39
Original post by Anonymous
I'm serious, I'm 21 and a virgin which is quite an accomplishment itself rofl I'm thinking if the opportunity comes shall I just do it or stay religious


haha do whatever you want to do

Quick Reply