Depressed; I Want To Take My Hijab Off

I'm honestly in the same boat as you. I started wearing a hijab when I was 12 and I only did it to make my dad happy. He didn't force me, but when I wore it I saw him smile like he was proud of me and that made me happy. Though, it's been four years and I am like in the middle when it comes to wearing the hijab. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't. I live in a Muslim country so I don't get "bullied" for wearing it, it's just sometimes like you said, I don't feel "beautiful". I guess I'm at the age where I want boys to look at me, for whatever reason.

On the other hand, when I take off my hijab (usually when I travel), I get harassed so much. Like yes, boys finally look at me... But they look at me like in a thirsty way and it makes me super uncomfortable! One time, I was at the airport and this guy whistled at me, calling me a "hottie". It was uncomfortable, and I wasn't even wearing anything inappropriate. I was modestly dressed like what you suggested.

Hijab or no hijab I can never be pleased. I hope Allah guides us both the way soon.

Hi guys just to say thanks for the support I am now free from the hijab.xx

If YOU feel like taking it off,u can,cause its ur choice and life.Do what u feel is right.
Don't listen to what other people say.
And u should never see urself as ugly!..Its not about the appearance,its about the personality.

Some women use it to escape form the confines of home and enter education/ employment, therefore making it a symbol of liberation which allows them to enter the society without loosing thei culture/history. A way of protecting themselves against an increasingly pervasive western culture. It allows people to judge you on your personality and intellect rather than looks and body etc etc. It means different things for different women.

Hello!

First of all, I'd like to say this thread is very hard to make for me since I've always portrayed myself as a 'proud' Muslim. I have been feeling depressed for the past, say, 4 years of my life. I'm turning 18 in the summer, and I have never felt so ugly, so depressed, so not my self. Imagine realising that you're not going to be able to do what you want in life... that you're living just to wait for death. That is how I feel. I feel completely trapped.

My parents are conservative, very strict, very scary. My father moreso than my mother. My extended family are like that as well, you do one thing that they don't like and you're put under fire by the whole ****ing country. I have aunts and uncles here as well, and if I were to take it off all Hell would break loose.

I just can't try and find justifications for some of the things in Islam. Like this verse in the Quran:
"Men are (meant to be righteous and kind) guardians of women because God has favored some more than others and because they (i.e. men) spend out of their wealth. (In their turn) righteous women are (meant to be) devoted and to guard what God has (willed to be) guarded even though out of sight (of the husband). As for those (women) on whose part you fear ill-will and nasty conduct, admonish them (first), (next) separate them in beds (and last) beat them. But if they obey you, then seek nothing against them. Behold, God is most high and great." (4:34)
This verse is in the Quran, it is not a hadith so you can say "oh that's just someone talking ****", it is the unadulterated word of God Himself.

I just don't see a reason for covering my hair, I can be modest in my thoughts, I can be modest without a hijab. I love God and I hope he forgives me but I just don't understand why? If He made me the way I am and He loves me, why does He order men to rinse their hands from my touch?
"And if ye are unclean, purify yourselves. And if ye are sick or on a journey, or one of you cometh from the closet, or ye have had contact with women, and ye find not water, then go to clean, high ground and rub your faces and your hands with some of it" (5:6) Am I created dirty?

I just don't see how this could be 'misinterpreted'. And it's not even just Islam itself, it is the Muslim community. The backwards thinking, the hypocrisy, the oppression hidden behind smiles and empty arguments to trick yourself into believing it's the right thing to do. I don't want to lie to myself, and to God and to my family and say I want to represent this and I believe in this and it makes me happy. It doesn't. I am depressed. I feel like ****. I feel like I am losing purpose. I feel like my dreams are too far to reach.

And I can't ignore it any more. It's been 4 years of constant **** and right now I am itching in my own skin. I am suffering so much and I know it might never end. Because I would be ridiculed and looked down upon and disowned by my own community/ family, nobody would want to marry me, I'm going to be pointed at my mothers who tell their children not to be like me. People are going to scowl in disgust when they hear my name. And I am a person who craves validation. If someone doesn't like me, I go out of my way to make them like me, so that would absolutely destroy me.

Funny how a cloth on your head can do that to ya huh? But I don't know how to live my life the way I want and not to hurt or be hurt by those I love and those I call "family". I just need help. I don't need someone telling me I will go to Hell. God is merciful and will forgive my sins. You are not God.

Any words of reassurance? Advice? Anything?

Errr congratulations?

I spoke to my mum and she took my phone away because apparently my friends are satanic and are trying to take me away from Islam so that didn't work. I also got slapped quite a bit
My plan is just to apply to universities very far from home and when I move into student halls I'll just cut off all ties from them and do what I want. It's sad it had to be this way but I can't do this anymore.

Hello!First of all, I'd like to say this thread is very hard to make for me since I've always portrayed myself as a 'proud' Muslim. I have been feeling depressed for the past, say, 4 years of my life. I'm turning 18 in the summer, and I have never felt so ugly, so depressed, so not my self. Imagine realising that you're not going to be able to do what you want in life... that you're living just to wait for death. That is how I feel. I feel completely trapped.My parents are conservative, very strict, very scary. My father moreso than my mother. My extended family are like that as well, you do one thing that they don't like and you're put under fire by the whole ****ing country. I have aunts and uncles here as well, and if I were to take it off all Hell would break loose.I just can't try and find justifications for some of the things in Islam. Like this verse in the Quran:"Men are (meant to be righteous and kind) guardians of women because God has favored some more than others and because they (i.e. men) spend out of their wealth. (In their turn) righteous women are (meant to be) devoted and to guard what God has (willed to be) guarded even though out of sight (of the husband). As for those (women) on whose part you fear ill-will and nasty conduct, admonish them (first), (next) separate them in beds (and last) beat them. But if they obey you, then seek nothing against them. Behold, God is most high and great." (4:34)This verse is in the Quran, it is not a hadith so you can say "oh that's just someone talking ****", it is the unadulterated word of God Himself.I just don't see a reason for covering my hair, I can be modest in my thoughts, I can be modest without a hijab. I love God and I hope he forgives me but I just don't understand why? If He made me the way I am and He loves me, why does He order men to rinse their hands from my touch?"And if ye are unclean, purify yourselves. And if ye are sick or on a journey, or one of you cometh from the closet, or ye have had contact with women, and ye find not water, then go to clean, high ground and rub your faces and your hands with some of it" (5:6) Am I created dirty?I just don't see how this could be 'misinterpreted'. And it's not even just Islam itself, it is the Muslim community. The backwards thinking, the hypocrisy, the oppression hidden behind smiles and empty arguments to trick yourself into believing it's the right thing to do. I don't want to lie to myself, and to God and to my family and say I want to represent this and I believe in this and it makes me happy. It doesn't. I am depressed. I feel like ****. I feel like I am losing purpose. I feel like my dreams are too far to reach.And I can't ignore it any more. It's been 4 years of constant **** and right now I am itching in my own skin. I am suffering so much and I know it might never end. Because I would be ridiculed and looked down upon and disowned by my own community/ family, nobody would want to marry me, I'm going to be pointed at my mothers who tell their children not to be like me. People are going to scowl in disgust when they hear my name. And I am a person who craves validation. If someone doesn't like me, I go out of my way to make them like me, so that would absolutely destroy me.Funny how a cloth on your head can do that to ya huh? But I don't know how to live my life the way I want and not to hurt or be hurt by those I love and those I call "family". I just need help. I don't need someone telling me I will go to Hell. God is merciful and will forgive my sins. You are not God.Any words of reassurance? Advice? Anything?

Listen, my sister, the final destination is near and these thoughts will rise and affect the ummah all around the world but you have to stay strong. You need to realise why do we wear the hijab? Yes, we hide our beauty and what not but what is the real reason? To please our creator. Wearing the hijab shows everyone that you're a Muslim but it also shows that you have the courage to do that and especially in this day and age, that message can be powerful. The hijab shouldn't be forced and you shouldn't be oppressed because oppression is haraam in itself but you need to seek guidance in Allah and break through that barrier Shaytan is trying so hard to keep strong because it's you who is going to suffer.

Also many Khafir are going to attack the Qu'ran and what not but Allah usually gives examples of the most unusual cases because Allah knows what will happen so therefore he gives us the Qu'ran as guidance. In addition, why believe Khafir when they've already been strayed away however if Allah still hasn't let them go they will Inshallah always come back to Islam. I recommend Nouman Ali Khan.

For the issue of family, I completely understand however it's culture not Islam itself. My extended family back home believe in arranged marriage and oppressing women even though that's against Islam?

Also, the comment on the verses in Qu'ran they can be misinterpreted. For example, some take it as a literal meaning while others take it lightly. For the writing in bold, it's written for the bad women for the women who don't believe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1azySjz4edk I think this the video that explains this well.

Also, you say you love God and you can stay modest without hijab but how? You love God so you agree to not show your faith openly? You think you can stay modest but you want to go away from one thing that will keep your modesty. Just think about this, alright. You take your hijab off and you think yes I'm free but...but there can't be not but because you're "free" but there is. You'll start thinking I need to put some makeup but oh just a little bit. I should do my hair a certain way because that's how guys like it, how can you keep your modesty then? Now, I'm not saying this out of being Muslim but from experience. People claim that hijab and modesty is to keep yourself restricted but hijab is the one thing that empowers you.

I don't want you to think I'm bashing you because I'm really not. I've had this reoccurring thought throughout my life but you need to know why you wear that cloth on you're head because it's much more than for a man. I hope you feel better Inshallah. I'll keep you in my duas.

OP ignore this person, she's acting as if people who wear hijabs don't already wear makeup and tight clothes which a lot of them do.
If you take your Hijab off, that doesn't make you a bad person or a bad Muslim. You can still practice the essential message of Islam: to be a kind and good person, be generous, give zakat, be good to your parents and neighbours, be faithful and loyal, pray to God, believe in God and live morally.
Taking of your hijab doesn't automatically make you some whore who has no morals.

Hmm, should I be ignored? I think not. Biased opinion but hear me out. One can try to be a good Muslim doing other things that one should however if you do those things with the intention to please your lord wouldn't you want to wear hijab as well in order to please your creator?

Also, apparently I'm acting as if other hijabis don't wear makeup and tight clothes. They may wear tight clothes and makeup and what not however that doesn't represent the hijab. Just because something is popular doesn't mean it's right.

Taking off the hijab doesn't make you automatically a whore with no morals however it can turn you in one. When you allow yourself to take it off, you're more easily led, step by step. I'm speaking from experience so I think I know what I'm saying.

Hmm, should I be ignored? I think not. Biased opinion but hear me out. One can try to be a good Muslim doing other things that one should however if you do those things with the intention to please your lord wouldn't you want to wear hijab as well in order to please your creator?

Random question: In your picture, you're wearing a hijab and some kind of top. Wouldn't a burqa be more modest and better serve your Lord?

'Whore with no morals' must be how you perceive a rather massive number (in fact, judging by your posts, most likely a large majority) of Western women, then. Interesting.

1) It would and I'm working up to it

2) Not really, I have quite a lot of friends who don't wear the hijab, muslim and non-muslim so it would quite rude of me to say they're whores with no morals. I was just using the phrase that the other person used to explain my point.

Taking off the hijab doesn't make you automatically a whore with no morals however it can turn you in one. When you allow yourself to take it off, you're more easily led, step by step. I'm speaking from experience so I think I know what I'm saying.

Girl is only preaching what is right