Can somebody mark this english language letter?

I have my exam very soon and i was wondering what this informal letter would roughly be grade wise. thank you

Hey Felix!
Do you really think that taking up smoking is a good idea? Honestly! You have got to be kidding me! Smoking is horrific: it can make you smell; can affect the way you look; it can have huge heath impacts and they are so expensive!
Firstly, do you really want to be going around everywhere smelling? I certainly wouldn’t! Who would want to hang around with you if you constantly smell of disgusting smoke, it would be a real shame (considering how fun you are to hang around with). Everywhere you go you would leave a vile smell of cigarettes, you will have to constantly be applying deodorant, which can’t be healthy can it?
Secondly, do you really want to mess up your handsome looks? Your nails will be stained yellow, not to mention your teeth too. Would your girlfriend really want to kiss you with disgusting yellow teeth? Ew! You’re only 25 mate, you don’t want to be gaining wrinkles earlier then you should be getting them and you certainly don’t want yellow skin! I know I don’t. You have cared all your life about your appearance so why just give up on it now? We all want to look our best.
More importantly, just think of all the heath issues that come with smoking! Is that really the life you want to have in the near future? Think about it. You could develop horrible things such as cancer, heart disease and it can even affect your vision! Think of all your family and friends! We all love you so much. Please don’t do this to us! We all know you’re the type of guy who hates being unhealthy, I’m surprised you have even thought of smoking! You know what happened to your Nan. I hate to bring it up but i really don’t want the same thing to happen to my best friend!
Lastly, think of how much all this is going to cost you! You have only just made it into a job after struggling to find one and you’re just going to waste your hard earned money on smoking? Ridiculous! Think of all the luxuries you could buy with the money you would be spending on cigarettes! £40 a month? £60? That’s a lot of money! Think about it carefully. You could be a millionaire with all the money people but on cigarettes a month, please don’t turn into one of those people.
I really hope that you do think this through carefully! Get back to me as soon as possible!
Love from your best mate,
Andy

Hey Felix!

Do you really think that taking up smoking is a good idea? Honestly? You have got to be kidding me! Smoking is horrific: it can make you smell, affect the way you look, have a huge impact on your health and cigarettes are so expensive!Firstly, do you really want to go around everywhere smelling? I certainly wouldn’t! Who would want to hang around with you if you constantly smell of disgusting smoke. It would be a real shame (considering how fun you are to hang around with). Everywhere you go, you would leave a trail of cigarette stench and will have to apply deodorant, which can’t be healthy for your skin, can it? Secondly, do you really want to mess up your handsome looks? Your nails will be stained yellow; not to mention your teeth too. Would your girlfriend really want to kiss you with disgusting, yellow teeth? Ew! You’re only 25 mate, you don’t want to be getting wrinkles earlier than you should be and you certainly don’t want yellow skin! I know I don’t. You have cared about your appearance your whole life so why just give up on it now? We all want to look our best.More importantly, just think of all the health issues that come with smoking! Is that really the life you want to have in the near future? Think about it. You could develop horrible things such as cancer, heart disease and it can even affect your vision! Think of all your family and friends! We all love you so much. Please don’t do this to us! We all know you’re the type of guy who hates being unhealthy, I’m surprised you've even thought of smoking let alone smoked! You know what happened to your Nan...I hate to bring it up but I really don’t want the same thing to happen to my best friend! Lastly, think of how much all this is going to cost you! You have only just made it into a job after struggling to find one and you’re just going to waste your hard earned money on smoking? Ridiculous! Think of all the luxuries you could buy with the money you would be spending on cigarettes! £40 a month? £60? That’s a lot of money! Think about it carefully. You could be a millionaire with all the money people spend on cigarettes a month. Just please don’t turn into one of those people.I really hope that you do think this through carefully! Get back to me as soon as possible!

Love from your best mate,

Andy

*I've made some minor changes but I'd say atleast anywhere between a high B to mid A?

Very good. I would mark this as being a high B/ low A. In order to improve and achieve a higher grade, I would go into further detail. I would also perhaps incorporate some more alternative ideas in the letter. In regards to points which other students would be unlikely to mention.

Thank you!

You haven't used many linguistic features, to be honest so it'd be closer to a mid-B

Okay, thank you i'll try to use them next time

You need to do something unique and have a bit of personality in your letter. I've seen what you've written many times before, so be different to get an A*