How do I get my boyfriend to pay attention to me

My boyfriend and I go to seperate unis but i feel like he doesnt miss me or isnt interested in even asking how i am unless it benefits him i.e. when he wants me to visit him at his uni.
I feel like hes avoiding me and I miss being able to talk to him on the phone like i used to and ive hinted at it. But he doesnt get it. I feel like he thinks im just trying to get his attention so i can complain. Ive even ignored him (overtly and discreetly) and it doesnt seem like he cares. What do I do?

PS: ive brought up taking a break, giving each other space and even hinted at giving him an opportunity to leaving (after explaining my reasons); and every time he says its me overthinking and then does this whole speech that's never backed up by actions. Would you suggest any other tactic to fix things? if not how do I leave?

(edited 7 years ago)

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Reply 1

shawn_o1

End the relationship, it's not healthy

Reply 2

AvaLisa12

Original post by shawn_o1

End the relationship, it's not healthy

You think so? Please explain. I wanna understand before i make the decision

Reply 3

Asuna Yuuki

If he doesn't care about you, why do you care about him?

Reply 4

Namita Gurung

Ask him. Talk to him properly before making any hasty decisions.

Reply 5

Zeeiqbal

dont pay any attention to him. act like you dont care and suddenly he will begin to think why you arent caring anymore

Reply 6

poundsoffat

Original post by AvaLisa12

Is he really your bf? Are you definitely sure that person's your bf?

Reply 7

shawn_o1

Original post by AvaLisa12

You think so? Please explain. I wanna understand before i make the decision

According what you posted originally, you think he's avoiding you. You're avoiding him as well and it doesn't seem like anything has happened. But not all is fine because he might be thinking the same way. To prevent things from blowing up it's best to tell him now

Reply 8

Sfhkh

maybe he has a sidechick

Reply 9

greatguy686

I have cum to fix this relationship by offering private counselling to you, op, in my bedchamber :sexface:

Reply 10

username47781

There is a lack of communication both sides, you both need to talk about these issues.

Reply 11

taz_yoongi

The relationship sounds broken. You deserve someone who cares about you and calls to check up on you and wants to video call and surprises you whenever he can. You deserve someone who loves you so much that all the things I said are effortless for him. This relationship you have seems to have lost its spark, never ever ask how to get your boyfriend to pay attention you because he should be giving it already. There is nothing wrong with you, it is his problem. So, I suggest you talk to him about this or you leave him because you get one life on Earth and you don't want to waste more time being in this sort of relationship. You deserve true love, no matter how long it takes to find it

Reply 12

AvaLisa12

Original post by poundsoffat

Is he really your bf? Are you definitely sure that person's your bf?

after 3 years and several family gatherings I'm certain I know my own boyfriend :smile:

Reply 13

poundsoffat

Original post by AvaLisa12

after 3 years and several family gatherings I'm certain I know my own boyfriend :smile:

I meant that in the sense that if he's that selfish and isn't willing to put effort and love into the relationship why's he still your bf?

Reply 14

Withengar

Listen, you are a strong, worthwhile human being and you're definitely above and beyond being treated like that, if you can even called that treatment. That's ignoring someone on a base level; or rather, only talking to them and interacting with them when it fits your purpose or your plan, not for the sake of, I don't know, being caring, loving, understanding or anything else that relationships are supposed to be about.

My suggestion to you is to openly and directly discuss this with him, explain to him your feelings and thoughts and try to get him to understand how you're feeling. I'm sorry to say this, but if he doesn't respond in an understanding or caring way, there is little else to do but to break up with him.

Best of luck.

Reply 15

Proxenus

dump him and go out with shawn_01

Reply 16

GwynLordOfCinder

Paint yourself purple and throw spoons at him

Reply 17

AvaLisa12

Original post by taz_yoongi

I agree completely. ive brought up taking a break, giving each other space and even hinted at giving him an opportunity to leave; and everytime he says its me overthinking and then does this whole speech that's never backed up by actions. Would you suggest any other tactic to fix things? if not how do I leave?