breakup after 2 years, right before exams...

Okay - just broken up with girlfriend today, and my exams start in 8 days.
We were together for two years, and were having issues that mean that 8 days ago we decided to go on a break. Today I discovered that my she had slept with a guy last night and then we broke up...
I'm absolutely crushed... She knows how tough these times are and i'm also having serious health issues, which she is aware of, which meant i missed the last 2 weeks of college... I just don't know how i can cope with all this..

Had we just decided to break up, I could probably deal with that, as I had my reservations anyway - but after a caring 2 year relationship, to have sex with another guy after a week, when we were just on a break to reassess things..
What.. genuinely shocked and amazed she would do this.

Any advice at all... anyone have similar experience.. Revision wasn't going well anyway.. not that.. just feel like my heart's been crushed, lost.. and with all this exam stress.. I need 3 A's... please some advice / help from anyone.. don't know what to do..

Reply 1

samina_ay

Forget her - obviously is a bitch - be happy you split up :biggrin:

Keep yourself busy, revise etc and focus on exams!

Reply 2

username2585877

see a counsellor - they’re the best. good luck

Reply 3

ElaArslan

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you right before your exams :frown:

but please try to be a lot more determined. You could interpret this break up as you needing to be independent, you can't rely on anyone tbh and your future depends on your actions. I know its easier said than done but you really should try to have a strong work ethic especially during exam season, and show your ex that you can do well without her!

Please try and keep a positive and optimistic state of mind! Watch funny videos and movies, go over your knowledge for your exams :smile:

I hope you can he better!

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

I know - Had we just broken up, I could crack on, move on a lot easier and be okay.
But knowing that she slept with another guy last night, before we had even talked.. after a week... has just crushed me.. every time i think about it, it's the most horrible, crushing feeling...

Reply 5

ElaArslan

Original post by Anonymous

You need to avoid thinking about it right now.. As I said just study and fill your day with things to do. Go to the gym for 2 hours, read a book, watch a movie. You should try to deal with the situation after your exams

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by ElaArslan

Okay, thanks for your help and concern.. guess I don't have much choice if I want to get into uni.. which is also the same one she's at..
I don't think there's much to deal with now.. just no contact , forget it and move on really...

Reply 7

ElaArslan

Original post by Anonymous

Good luck

Reply 8

999tigger

You havent got time to do anything else other than focus.
Write down all the feelings on a piece of paper and then put it to one side to be dealt with later.
The rest is pointless to think about, but you should imo cut her off or block all social media..

Reply 9

kh1234

I had the same happen to me right before my exams, and my prom in school, we was together for a very long time and found out he had cheated on me, just concentrate on your exams you'll be fine, on the plus side I came out with A*'s, focus :smile:

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Reply 10

dnr_23

that sucks but lol we are teenagers so like what do u expect from relationships........
be motivated, dont lose sight of the bigger picture, youre better than her
cry for 1 minute then pull yourself together
good luck

Reply 11

username1539513

Original post by Anonymous

Tbh it sounds like she wasn't really gf material anyway, OP. A real woman would stick by her man, health problems, exams and everything. She clearly isn't mature enough to handle it.

Remember your grades are more important than an immature little girl; try to focus on your exams right now. Do you have any friends or family you can talk about your feelings too?

Reply 12

username944192

Original post by Anonymous

I'm so sorry this has happened to you but please do not let this selfish **** ruin your A levels and potentially your future. It's hard but you have to bracket those feelings until after your exams. Write down how you feel on some paper and put it aside until afterwards. Then you can come back to it, if you still want to

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Thanks a lot, I know you're right underneath it, which is encouraging.
Yeah, i've talked extensively to a friend, which helped a lot.
thank you :smile:

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by infairverona

Thank you very much :smile:

It's good to hear that. I know, really, that we were simply a really bad fit too, so i can't see myself revisiting it. I'm just going to have to kick the nasty thoughts and crack on I see.. Thank you alot - little things like that can help significantly. :smile:

Reply 15

Elivercury

I hate to break it to you (pun unintended) but a break is just that - you are broken up and not in a relationship. Now I know you were hoping it'd be a temporary break while you worked things out before getting back together, but ultimately you are not together anymore - and if her behaviour is any indication, she doesn't have any interest in getting back together.

How you deal with this? I dunno, personally when I had a breakup while at uni I proceeded to do about 2 months of work in the space of a week. So you never know, this could be the best thing she ever did for you from a productivity point of view!

It's hard, it sucks and the timing of it certainly leaves something to be desired, but ultimately that is life and you just need to deal with the hand you've been dealt. I suggest you try to forget all feelings and focus on your exams at the moment. Once they are dealt with you can decide where you want to go with this.

Best of luck and stay strong.

Reply 16

Findlay6

Let think about this realistically.
If you couldn't resolve any issues you had whilst in the relationship, together, then having a break wasn't going to make them disappear. They would still be there when/if you got back together.

Communication is essential and shouldn't require a break. There is no easy way out of disagreements and complications in relationships. Just discuss them and move on, together. - Learn from this situation.

Just because she slept with someone else, it doesn't means that she isn't grieving. People grieve in different ways and she may just be trying to block out feelings or trying to 'get back out there' instead of crying 24/7 over a break-up. That doesn't mean that she isn't upset for one of those days.
Having sex with another person may have been a way for her to understand if she still has feelings for you, or if she wants to try again.
There are so many explanations, but at the end of the day you'll never know why unless you ask, and honestly, you don't need to know. She's allowed to have sex.

You having health issues is unfortunate, but you can't hold that against her. If they're long-term issues, you could always bring that up and there would never be an 'easier' time to break-up.

Use any negative energy (crying/thinking about her/being angry at the situation) and do something productive with it. Exercise is always the best solution, but even just writing some revision notes, or reading, seeing friends etc.

Reply 17

octoberrain

Original post by ElaArslan

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you right before your exams :frown:

I hope you can he better!

I thought that too, rub it in her face later that she didn't manage to destroy you and you still got your 3As, even if she did what she did

Reply 18

username1539513

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks a lot, I know you're right underneath it, which is encouraging.
Yeah, i've talked extensively to a friend, which helped a lot.
thank you :smile:

Just try your best and do the best you can :smile:

Reply 19

ricardo_va

Hey dude, Last year i went through a similar thing, me and my girlfriend had been together for two years too, and a week before the exam we broke up. the reason was that we had gone for a break, similarily to how you had done and when we started talking again she started to compare me to another guy until she acc broke up with me to go to the other guy, she then after an hour (THATS HOW BAD THE OTHER GUY WAS) came back to me and begging for forgiveness. but yeah it starts to go downhill from there. but basically my point is, i used a source of motivation, it gave me that extra push to say "i'm better than her, i dont need anybody to make me happy" yes, you will suffer for the next 2 days like anybody would, try cry out your heart and just release all your emotions, even have a drop day if u need to, just to recooperate yourself.

Your ex clearly isnt someone that is good for you, a good girlfriend will want you to get far in the future and not the present, remember that ok?.

I was meant to get 2 Bs and a C last year however i used to push me forward and worked my ass off as hard as i can, and guess what i came out with, an A*, A and a B.. hard word pays off, push yourself and you will achieve..

good luck bro, message if u want a more depth in response