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am i in the wrong?

So I am in a relationship of nearly 4 years. I'm in a group chat on whatsapp with a few of my old school friends and today a guy friend complimented my breasts. I thought it was only right to tell my boyfriend about this because we dont keep secrets. My boyfriend is basically annoyed at the fact that I just brushed it off. His opinion is I should of had a go at the guy who complimented my breasts. Which I dont really think its much of a bog deal because at the end of the day, its not like I have cheated (I never have). Am I in the wrong?

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Original post by 30.10.12
So I am in a relationship of nearly 4 years. I'm in a group chat on whatsapp with a few of my old school friends and today a guy friend complimented my breasts. I thought it was only right to tell my boyfriend about this because we dont keep secrets. My boyfriend is basically annoyed at the fact that I just brushed it off. His opinion is I should of had a go at the guy who complimented my breasts. Which I dont really think its much of a bog deal because at the end of the day, its not like I have cheated (I never have). Am I in the wrong?

I dont think your boyfriend should expect you to have shouted at him, maybe you could have said that the comment was a little inappropriate but even so it depends on the friendship really, in some situations if its a one time thing then brushing it off shouldn't be an issue.
Original post by 30.10.12
So I am in a relationship of nearly 4 years. I'm in a group chat on whatsapp with a few of my old school friends and today a guy friend complimented my breasts. I thought it was only right to tell my boyfriend about this because we dont keep secrets. My boyfriend is basically annoyed at the fact that I just brushed it off. His opinion is I should of had a go at the guy who complimented my breasts. Which I dont really think its much of a bog deal because at the end of the day, its not like I have cheated (I never have). Am I in the wrong?


Well it's understandble why he'd be annoyed. People don't just randomly compliment another person's breasts unless they're hinting at something? I think he expected you to have been annoyed at least rather than think it was OK but you're not in the wrong either. I think you should talk to him about this...
Reply 3
Original post by claireestelle
I dont think your boyfriend should expect you to have shouted at him, maybe you could have said that the comment was a little inappropriate but even so it depends on the friendship really, in some situations if its a one time thing then brushing it off shouldn't be an issue.

I did tell him that I thought the comment was not needed, I think it was just a case of him wanting to make his ex girlfriend jealous because she is also on the group chat and I dont think he's gotten over her yet, so that could be it. It hasn't happened before so yeah, thanks for the reply btw
Original post by 30.10.12
I did tell him that I thought the comment was not needed, I think it was just a case of him wanting to make his ex girlfriend jealous because she is also on the group chat and I dont think he's gotten over her yet, so that could be it. It hasn't happened before so yeah, thanks for the reply btw


Glad to help, I dont think you're in the wrong in this situation :smile:
As a guy I would not like to know that a friend of my girlfriend's complimented her breasts
What you don't know it does not hurt you
Reply 6
Original post by ODES_PDES
As a guy I would not like to know that a friend of my girlfriend's complimented her breasts
What you don't know it does not hurt you


Yeah that's fair enough, but we do tell each other everything, to prevent any arguments in the future of "why didn't you tell me?" Thanks for the reply though:smile:
You're not in the wrong and your boyfriend overreacted.
Reply 8
Original post by 30.10.12
So I am in a relationship of nearly 4 years. I'm in a group chat on whatsapp with a few of my old school friends and today a guy friend complimented my breasts. I thought it was only right to tell my boyfriend about this because we dont keep secrets. My boyfriend is basically annoyed at the fact that I just brushed it off. His opinion is I should of had a go at the guy who complimented my breasts. Which I dont really think its much of a bog deal because at the end of the day, its not like I have cheated (I never have). Am I in the wrong?


You didn't do anything wrong.

Tbh your bf is kinda lucky. Most girls wouldn't even tell their bf if other guys were hitting on them.

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Reply 9
Original post by SophieSmall
You're not in the wrong and your boyfriend overreacted.


No he didnt. What he did was perfectly reasonable actually. If your bf told you his female friends were hitting on him, of course you would say he should tell them off for hitting on him.

But her telling her friend off would not have been the best course of action, yes, because in this case its not a necessary reaction to her friend making some throwaway comment about her having nice tits or whatever he said (and since it was group chat likely a comment not to be taken seriously).

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(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 10
I won't be able to answer until I see a picture of your breasts :smile:
Reply 11
Original post by Nidhoggr
You didn't do anything wrong.

Tbh your bf is kinda lucky. Most girls wouldn't even tell their bf if other guys were hitting on them.

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Thanks for the reply :smile:
Original post by Nidhoggr
No he didnt. What he did was perfectly reasonable actually. If your bf told you his female friends were hitting on him, of course you would say he should tell them off for hitting on him.

But her telling her friend off would not have been the best course of action, yes, because in this case its not a necessary reaction to her friend making some throwaway comment about her having nice tits or whatever he said (and since it was group chat likely a comment not to be taken seriously).

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You just contradicted yourself.

First you say it's right for him to have said she should tell her friend off. Because of your hypothetical reversed genders scenario.

And then you went on to say no actually she shouldn't have told him off.

Either she should or shouldn't. And if telling her friend off wasn't necessary then yes her boyfriend is overreacting.

Since this was a one off I think he was overreacting, however if this friend became a continual pest constantly saying inappropriate things then her boyfriend would not be overeating, but this is not the case.
Original post by SophieSmall
You just contradicted yourself.

First you say it's right for him to have said she should tell her friend off. Because of your hypothetical reversed genders scenario.

And then you went on to say no actually she shouldn't have told him off.

Either she should or shouldn't. And if telling her friend off wasn't necessary then yes her boyfriend is overreacting.

Since this was a one off I think he was overreacting, however if this friend became a continual pest constantly saying inappropriate things then her boyfriend would not be overeating, but this is not the case.


No I didnt contradict myself. You just want to argue.

Nothing to argue about here unfortunately. Maybe another time :/

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Reply 14
I don't think it's that you're 'in the wrong'. I've also been in a relationship for 4 years and I've come to learn that guys are a lot more insecure than they let on. I think he was just annoyed because he wants you all to himself and for another guy to say something like that makes him feel like he's being disrespected as your boyfriend. I think it would have been right to tell the guy that complimented you that his comments were inappropriate. Usually when I get comments like that I just reply "tell my man" 😂 But that's just me. But I do think you should've told the guy it's not okay but just try to understand your boyfriends perspective. Say sorry and move on! Best way to go. Hope everything turns out okay :smile:
Original post by Nidhoggr
No I didnt contradict myself. You just want to argue.

Nothing to argue about here unfortunately. Maybe another time :/

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lol, I don't want to argue. It's just a silly post on TSR of all places.
With all the other No people. You didnt invite or encourage it, in fact you went above and beyond by telling him, which you werent obliged to do.
Bf being a misery.
Reply 17
Original post by Gcat.98
I don't think it's that you're 'in the wrong'. I've also been in a relationship for 4 years and I've come to learn that guys are a lot more insecure than they let on. I think he was just annoyed because he wants you all to himself and for another guy to say something like that makes him feel like he's being disrespected as your boyfriend. I think it would have been right to tell the guy that complimented you that his comments were inappropriate. Usually when I get comments like that I just reply "tell my man" 😂 But that's just me. But I do think you should've told the guy it's not okay but just try to understand your boyfriends perspective. Say sorry and move on! Best way to go. Hope everything turns out okay :smile:


thanks really appreciate that advice, I think I'm going to just say sorry and try and move on with it. Because at the end of the day, we've been together for quite a long time and I don't want something like this to ruin it, thanks for the reply though really helpful:smile:
Original post by Nidhoggr
No he didnt. What he did was perfectly reasonable actually. If your bf told you his female friends were hitting on him, of course you would say he should tell them off for hitting on him.

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Why should he tell them off? If it was just a few innocuous comments? As long as he didnt encourage or engage then he wont have done anything.
Reply 19
Original post by 999tigger
With all the other No people. You didnt invite or encourage it, in fact you went above and beyond by telling him, which you werent obliged to do.
Bf being a misery.


yeah, I didn't encourage it and I showed him all of the screenshots:/ thanks for the reply

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