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I got my FWB pregnant and she wants to keep it?

So I've been seeing this girl L for the last 4 to 5 months. We usually go on a small "date" and then head back to hers for some fun.

We told eachother we wouldn't get in contact other than for sex or setting up the "date".

She got in contact yesterday evening to say that she's pregnant and has been for 2 weeks. Wth!?

She was meant to be on the pill, so she has clearly lied to me... now she's telling me she wants to keep it and wants me in her life as the father.


I'm 21, I'm not cut out to be a dad quite yet... I've got my career in mind and I'm not mature enough either.

I don't know what to do from here?

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You've ****ed it literally
tell her the truth and go from there.
Reply 3
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by samina_ay
You've ****ed it literally


How have I ****ed it lol? She's the one who didn't take the pill!
Reply 4
Avatar for hilrho
hilrho
15
Original post by Anonymous
How have I ****ed it lol? She's the one who didn't take the pill!


She's crazy. My ex's younger brothers 'ex-girlfriend' got pregnant on purpose, and like your FWB, told him she was on the pill just so she can claim government benefits etc. So she gets support from him and the government so she can literally do all she wants without having to work. And she IS crazy.
Reply 5
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Cobalt_
21
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Reply 6
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by samina_ay
tell her the truth and go from there.


What truth is there to tell?

She should tell me why she lied about taking the pill.
Reply 7
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by hilrho
She's crazy. My ex's younger brothers 'ex-girlfriend' got pregnant on purpose, and like your FWB, told him she was on the pill just so she can claim government benefits etc. So she gets support from him and the government so she can literally do all she wants without having to work. And she IS crazy.


That's mental. Can't believe some women are capable of doing such a heinous thing.

I haven't told either of my parents about this just yet. I'm also entering my third year at University after the summer and I hope this doesn't mess up the arrangements I have with my room mates...

I don't want the kid, but it seems like I'm going to be locked down with it.
Original post by Anonymous
How have I ****ed it lol? She's the one who didn't take the pill!


Doesn't hurt to use your own bloody protection too
Reply 9
Avatar for hilrho
hilrho
15
Original post by Anonymous
That's mental. Can't believe some women are capable of doing such a heinous thing.

I haven't told either of my parents about this just yet. I'm also entering my third year at University after the summer and I hope this doesn't mess up the arrangements I have with my room mates...

I don't want the kid, but it seems like I'm going to be locked down with it.


I do think you need to talk to your parents about this. And she is literally forcing you with this. You would have to start paying for child support even if you two just coparent and are nothing more than that. Might be a good idea to move back in with your parents while working until you're financially stable to pay your own rent, and pay for the child. That is what my ex's brother is doing right now anyways. I feel so sorry for you, next time use a condom even if they claim to be on the pill unless its a long term girlfriend youre living with so you know they're on the pill.
You can't trust people these days, you could have wore a condom as well - nothing is 100% foolproof. I think it's transcended asking her why she lied, it isn't going to change anything now. If she's going to keep it then you'll just have to deal with it.


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But I do sympathise with you man.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Should've used your own protection if you don't want a kid.
She can't take all the blame here.
Plus I don't think fwb is a good idea anyway, because it can lead to this.
You're just gonna have to either convince her to get rid of it, tell her the truth or deal with it!
Don't leave her if she does have it!
Original post by Anonymous
What truth is there to tell?

She should tell me why she lied about taking the pill.


Exactly & then you tell her you don't wanna be her baby daddy. End of story
Honestly, I'd suggest you talk to her. Explain to her what you want to do, be it termination or whatever, and allow her to explain her stance to you also. If you wish to be in the baby's life, then you can work it out from there.

If she wants to keep it and you don't, then you can either live with the consequence and be involved in the kids life and support it, or you can refuse involvement.

If you don't want anything to do with the baby, then my advice would be to explain to her that you will not be getting involved or aiding financially as this may or may not influence her decision. As far as I know, she could only come after you for child support if you're on the birth certificate. So if you really don't want this child, cut contact from now and stay away, especially from the child once it's born as it'd be unfair to be in and out of their life.

To anyone who may judge you in this situation, they should probably remember that women have an opt out clause in the form of an abortion. The man has no say, and the only way they can opt out is to avoid involvement.
In my opinion, there is no shame in terminating a pregnancy, and there is likewise no shame in refusing to support and commit to a pregnancy you didn't want or expect either.

I hope the situation can be resolved smoothly. Good luck OP.
Reply 15
Avatar for Dnkz7
Dnkz7
12
Gotta feeling you've been screwed over. Shows that you can't trust anybody as it can lead to things like this.
Tell her straight up that you don't feel ready to support the child, and if she wants to keep it then she's gotta raise the kid on her own. Strange that she wants to keep the kid and wants you in the kids life too, seems like she wants to lock you down so she can keep you as a partner. Did you not tell that she developed feelings for you over time?

This is why FWB never work, someone is gonna catch feelings later on - usually being the female from my friends experience...
Original post by FireFreezer77
Should've used your own protection if you don't want a kid.
She can't take all the blame here.
Plus I don't think fwb is a good idea anyway, because it can lead to this.
You're just gonna have to either convince her to get rid of it, tell her the truth or deal with it!
Don't leave her if she does have it!


She takes most of the blame.

I'm not going to stay with her.

She tricked me into all this... I'm sure she planned it too. If she hadn't she would've told me she wasn't on it - and don't tell me "maybe she forgot" because she's been on the pill since day 1.
Original post by Dnkz7
Gotta feeling you've been screwed over. Shows that you can't trust anybody as it can lead to things like this.
Tell her straight up that you don't feel ready to support the child, and if she wants to keep it then she's gotta raise the kid on her own. Strange that she wants to keep the kid and wants you in the kids life too, seems like she wants to lock you down so she can keep you as a partner. Did you not tell that she developed feelings for you over time?

This is why FWB never work, someone is gonna catch feelings later on - usually being the female from my friends experience...



I thought the feelings were purely sexual - well they were from my side. I don't think there were any sides of something more coming from her.

I'm not going to stick around with her. I've already deleted her number and I'm definitely not planning on seeing her again after this.
Original post by sarkrista112
You can't trust people these days, you could have wore a condom as well - nothing is 100% foolproof. I think it's transcended asking her why she lied, it isn't going to change anything now. If she's going to keep it then you'll just have to deal with it.


Posted from TSR Mobile



Pills, from my understanding, are one of the best forms of contraception around.

She probably planned it. If hadn't, she would've let it be known she wasn't on the pill and I definitely would have used a condom - or we simply wouldn't've had sex.

Thanks for the empathy.
Who says she lied? Nothing is foolproof. Besides you should have taken your own precautions - what if she were HIV positive? You are now going to have to be a grown up and take responsibility for your own actions.

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