Is it too soon to start dating?

A month ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of just over a year. I was heartbroken and he wasn't 100% sure he wanted to break up with me but did it because he'd been growing distant from me.

I instigated no contact for a month because my ex says he still wants to be friends and can't imagine not having me in his life. I said I need no contact for a while so I can process the break up and then we can try to be friends.

However, last week I went to a house party and I met a guy who I started talking to. It turns out we have a lot in common to the point where we've both said it's quite spooky. He's asked if I want to go on a date next week.

I feel conflicted as part of me feels it's disrespectful to my ex to start dating so soon. However, talking to this guy who has
made me realise that my ex and I don't have that much in common and in a way it's helped me get over the break up. I'm not looking to jump into a relationship but I feel that I have so much in common with this guy it'd be silly to not go on a date and see what happens.

Does this make me an awful person?

Reply 1

30.10.12

9

just go on a date, at the end of the day, the was a reason to you guys breaking up and maybe this is your chance to move on and start fresh. I think you will regret it if you don't go, and trust me you shouldn't live your life with regrets, (talking from experience) jus give it a go :smile:

hope this helped. Good luck :smile:

Reply 2

Powersymphonia

20

Original post by Anonymous

Does this make me an awful person?

The answer is no. You and your ex have both realised that you don't have a lot in common and so that a relationship between you is not going to work any longer. You have met someone else who seems interested in you. There is no reason why you should not go on a date with him.

There is no timescale for how long you should wait before embarking on a new relationship. It is different for everyone. If you feel that you can go on a date with this person without feeling guilty, then go for it.

You can still be friends with your ex, but you have to accept that he is not going to be your boyfriend anymore.

Reply 3

Nfergs

19

Of course it doesn't make you an awful person. Do what you feel is right for yourself and go on a date with this guy. There is absolutely no timescale on when to start a new relationship, just take things slow and see what happens!

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Thank you. I'm going to go on the date.

Reply 5

username1726117

14

There's nothing wrong with going on a date so soon, HOWEVER, please take the time to heal before you get into a relationship. Go on multiple dates, get a feel for this new person, but only enter into exclusivity when you are over you ex. Otherwise you're just going to bring in old emotions/problems into the relationship.

Reply 6

Sportycb

11

Original post by Anonymous

A month ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of just over a year. I was heartbroken and he wasn't 100% sure he wanted to break up with me but did it because he'd been growing distant from me.

I instigated no contact for a month because my ex says he still wants to be friends and can't imagine not having me in his life. I said I need no contact for a while so I can process the break up and then we can try to be friends.

However, last week I went to a house party and I met a guy who I started talking to. It turns out we have a lot in common to the point where we've both said it's quite spooky. He's asked if I want to go on a date next week.

I feel conflicted as part of me feels it's disrespectful to my ex to start dating so soon. However, talking to this guy who has
made me realise that my ex and I don't have that much in common and in a way it's helped me get over the break up. I'm not looking to jump into a relationship but I feel that I have so much in common with this guy it'd be silly to not go on a date and see what happens.

Does this make me an awful person?

I don't think it makes you a bad person if you just go on date. I would make it more like a good friendship and a few informal dates to begin as otherwise others might see it in a different light and there may be comments. If anyone asks just say he is a friend.

I am sure there are girls who have just broken up with their boyfriends who are jealous of your situation. Most in that situation miss their ex and wonder if they will ever meet someone again. Think your situation is a far better alternative.

Reply 7

Zarek

21

Get in there

Is it too soon to start dating?

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