The Student Room Group

My parents won't let me go on a holiday with my boyfriend

Me and my boyfriend both are 21. We're from Eastern Europe. My parents know him well and like him a lot. He even stays at out house for holidays and spends summer with us (We live at the seaside). I know his parents too,we've been together for almost 2 years now.Couple months ago he won Green Card and moved to New York,he stays there for 5 months a year to finally get citizenship.He didn't want to move coz of me but I convinced him it was better for our future.We're still together,trust and love eachother. He now wants to buy me tickets and pay for my Visa to take me with him in New York for summer holidays.He wanted me to stay there for a month but my mom is against it so we decided to make it 2 weeks only. We both have always been responsible and mature, have never gotten in any trouble, did very well at school.We both study Law.He is sweet and polite,my parents LIKE HIM! But as soon as I bring up the subject my mom goes crazy,yells at me and responds sarcastically. Also, if I go there, I won't be staying at HIS place but at home of a mother of his friend.I don't know how to convince my mom.He worked so hard to get me tickets and we really don't wanna miss this awesome chance of being in New York together. I mean it's NEW YORK!
P.S I know I'm 21 and can make my own decisions but I still live with my parents so....Can't just dash out and do whatever I please
P.S I'm a girl.
(edited 7 years ago)

Scroll to see replies

that's ****, I really don't understand why they won't let you go! If I were you I'd probably go regardless tbh
Where are you from, and religion? It may play big roles
Original post by montago
Me and my boyfriend both are 21. We're from Eastern Europe. My parent know him well and like him a lot. He even stays at out house for holidays and spends summer with us (We live at the seaside). I know his parents too,we've been together for almost 2 years now.Couple months ago he won Green Card and moved to New York,he stays there for 5 months a year to finally get citizenship.He didn't want to move coz of me but I convinced him it was better for our future.We're still together,trust and love eachother. He now wants to buy me tickets and pay for my Visa to take me with him in New York for summer holidays.He wanted me to stay there for a month but my mom is against it so we decided to make it 2 weeks only. We both have always been responsible and mature, have never gotten in any trouble, did very well at school.We both study Law.He is sweet and polite,my parents LIKE HIM! But as soon as I bring up the subject my mom goes crazy,yells at me and responds sarcastically. Also, if I go there, I won't be staying at HIS place but at home of a mother of his friend.I don't know how to convince my mom.He worked so hard to get me tickets and we really don't wanna miss this awesome chance of being in New York together. I mean it's NEW YORK!
P.S I know I'm 21 and can make my own decisions but I still live with my parents so....Can't just dash out and do whatever I please


Basically

Original post by student.feed
Where are you from, and religion? It may play big roles


Ignore this

Original post by picklescamp
that's ****, I really don't understand why they won't let you go! If I were you I'd probably go regardless tbh


Listen to this
Reply 4
Avatar for montago
montago
OP
Original post by ckfeister
Basically



Ignore this



Listen to this



I'm from Georgia (the country) .. My mom is an atheist and not strict AT ALL! My parents have NEVER been strict and always let me be free and make choices but I don't know why is she so crazy about me going there this time... She was going mad when she first found out I had a boyfriend but later she got used to it and now LOVES my bf and treats him like one of his children. She really likes him a lot... She's also very impulsive...But she is worried we'll "make bad choices" if I go there and wants to avoid that. She told me we can go whenever we want when we're married
Reply 5
Avatar for montago
montago
OP
Original post by student.feed
Where are you from, and religion? It may play big roles


I'm from Georgia (the country) .. My mom is an atheist and not strict AT ALL! My parents have NEVER been strict and always let me be free and make choices but I don't know why is she so crazy about me going there this time... She was going mad when she first found out I had a boyfriend but later she got used to it and now LOVES my bf and treats him like one of his children. She really likes him a lot... She's also very impulsive...But she is worried we'll "make bad choices" if I go there and wants to avoid that. She told me we can go whenever we want when we're married
Original post by montago
I'm from Georgia (the country) .. My mom is an atheist and not strict AT ALL! My parents have NEVER been strict and always let me be free and make choices but I don't know why is she so crazy about me going there this time... She was going mad when she first found out I had a boyfriend but later she got used to it and now LOVES my bf and treats him like one of his children. She really likes him a lot... She's also very impulsive...But she is worried we'll "make bad choices" if I go there and wants to avoid that. She told me we can go whenever we want when we're married


I'm assuming your a guy too, this is normal... mine does this they aren't strict and are atheist, overprotective, just get a job and you can pay yourself.
Reply 7
Avatar for montago
montago
OP
Original post by ckfeister
I'm assuming your a guy too, this is normal... mine does this they aren't strict and are atheist, overprotective, just get a job and you can pay yourself.

I'm a girl :biggrin:
Original post by montago
I'm a girl :biggrin:


Oh :lol: just use money you earn and go on holiday, they just being overprotective.
Reply 9
Avatar for montago
montago
OP
Original post by montago
I'm a girl :biggrin:

About the job... I study law in the best University of my country , I take waay too many classes and spend almost most day at my University , which leaves me no time to work... I have classes from Monday through Saturday every day from 9 a.m to 6 p.m... with only short breaks between them
Reply 10
Avatar for OGGUS
OGGUS
21
Maybe it's because they don't want you to get pregnant
Reply 11
Avatar for Andy98
Andy98
20
Original post by montago
Me and my boyfriend both are 21. We're from Eastern Europe. My parent know him well and like him a lot. He even stays at out house for holidays and spends summer with us (We live at the seaside). I know his parents too,we've been together for almost 2 years now.Couple months ago he won Green Card and moved to New York,he stays there for 5 months a year to finally get citizenship.He didn't want to move coz of me but I convinced him it was better for our future.We're still together,trust and love eachother. He now wants to buy me tickets and pay for my Visa to take me with him in New York for summer holidays.He wanted me to stay there for a month but my mom is against it so we decided to make it 2 weeks only. We both have always been responsible and mature, have never gotten in any trouble, did very well at school.We both study Law.He is sweet and polite,my parents LIKE HIM! But as soon as I bring up the subject my mom goes crazy,yells at me and responds sarcastically. Also, if I go there, I won't be staying at HIS place but at home of a mother of his friend.I don't know how to convince my mom.He worked so hard to get me tickets and we really don't wanna miss this awesome chance of being in New York together. I mean it's NEW YORK!
P.S I know I'm 21 and can make my own decisions but I still live with my parents so....Can't just dash out and do whatever I please


Your mum is scared of you going off on your own and getting hurt while you're over there; it's not even anything to do with there being a guy.

I'd go regardless, and I'm 18 and from a strict family
Reply 12
Avatar for montago
montago
OP
Original post by Andy98
Your mum is scared of you going off on your own and getting hurt while you're over there; it's not even anything to do with there being a guy.

I'd go regardless, and I'm 18 and from a strict family

Yeah but what would you do after you came back? I can't avoid my parents for whole my life. I gotta keep having a normal relationship with them... I don't wanna leave them upset
Hmmm odd situation. They like him but not enough to have you go stay there with him. Could his mum talk to.yours to reassure her that she'll be keeping a close eye on you both so those choices your mum is on about won't occur? Lol is a suggestion

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 14
Avatar for Andy98
Andy98
20
Original post by montago
Yeah but what would you do after you came back? I can't avoid my parents for whole my life. I gotta keep having a normal relationship with them... I don't wanna leave them upset


Sure they'll be pissed off but they'll get over it
Reply 15
Avatar for montago
montago
OP
Original post by OGGUS
Maybe it's because they don't want you to get pregnant

I'm sure that concerns her , but I have never done anything to make her think I'm just gonna go ahead and get pregnant at the age of 21!!! Without having graduated and getting a job yet! I'm just soo not that kind of a person and she knows that. But STILL doesn't trust me. I think that's because she got married when she was 16, dropped school , then broke up with her husband and met my dad and got married again at the age of 31... And she doesn't want me to make same mistakes..
Reply 16
Avatar for montago
montago
OP
Original post by SMEGGGY
Hmmm odd situation. They like him but not enough to have you go stay there with him. Could his mum talk to.yours to reassure her that she'll be keeping a close eye on you both so those choices your mum is on about won't occur? Lol is a suggestion

Posted from TSR Mobile


That's a pretty good idea, I think. Thanks a lot!!!!! Will give it a try . Thank you !!!
You might be 21, but you are still young. Your mum is just being protective.
You cna either go against her will, which has consequences or you cna attempt to get her permission by reassuring and winning over either her or the three other parents by allaying her fears.

You know your parents and situation , so you know how they will react if you go. Think carefully about the long term consequences.
(edited 7 years ago)
You should tell them NYC is safer than London, and probably safer than much of Eastern Europe frankly.
Original post by montago
I'm from Georgia (the country) .. My mom is an atheist and not strict AT ALL! My parents have NEVER been strict and always let me be free and make choices but I don't know why is she so crazy about me going there this time... She was going mad when she first found out I had a boyfriend but later she got used to it and now LOVES my bf and treats him like one of his children. She really likes him a lot... She's also very impulsive...But she is worried we'll "make bad choices" if I go there and wants to avoid that. She told me we can go whenever we want when we're married


Maybe she doesn't want you to have sex before marriage.. .idk

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you