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worried about sex

so i feel really dumb writing this but it's constantly playing in my mind. I've never had sex before (i'm 19) and have never really been ready for a relationship until now. however i'm literally terrified of getting into a relationship with someone who has had sex before. Ideally I'd like my first time to be with another virgin but due to my age i feel this gonna be almost impossible and chances are the person i end up with won't be one. I just feel like they would compare me to the previous person they slept with (meaning the sex itself and also comparing my body) and obviously i would need them to go slow for my first time and i'd worry they wouldn't or like they couldn't be bothered to take their time. I know it's dumb but it's constantly playing in my mind and I wish I could stop worrying about this :frown:

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Original post by Anonymous
so i feel really dumb writing this but it's constantly playing in my mind. I've never had sex before (i'm 19) and have never really been ready for a relationship until now. however i'm literally terrified of getting into a relationship with someone who has had sex before. Ideally I'd like my first time to be with another virgin but due to my age i feel this gonna be almost impossible and chances are the person i end up with won't be one. I just feel like they would compare me to the previous person they slept with (meaning the sex itself and also comparing my body) and obviously i would need them to go slow for my first time and i'd worry they wouldn't or like they couldn't be bothered to take their time. I know it's dumb but it's constantly playing in my mind and I wish I could stop worrying about this :frown:


If they actually like you then they won't care what your body looks like :smile:
There are more important things in life to worry about than sex.
If they are in a relationship with you they probably won't care if you're a virgin or not, some people even prefer it?
Reply 4
Avatar for Themini
Themini
15
Original post by Anonymous
so i feel really dumb writing this but it's constantly playing in my mind. I've never had sex before (i'm 19) and have never really been ready for a relationship until now. however i'm literally terrified of getting into a relationship with someone who has had sex before. Ideally I'd like my first time to be with another virgin but due to my age i feel this gonna be almost impossible and chances are the person i end up with won't be one. I just feel like they would compare me to the previous person they slept with (meaning the sex itself and also comparing my body) and obviously i would need them to go slow for my first time and i'd worry they wouldn't or like they couldn't be bothered to take their time. I know it's dumb but it's constantly playing in my mind and I wish I could stop worrying about this :frown:


Its not some kind of race to lose your V card. Do what feels right, a lot of girls at uni are virgins into their 20s..Just wait for the right time and don't feel pressurised to lose it. If you don't feel ready yet then don't do it. Don't feel you're obliged to have sex with someone just because you're going out with them either, and if they pressure you then they're definitely not right for you. Give it a couple of years for guys to mature up a bit. IMO this whole subject is overrated.
(edited 7 years ago)
You're overthinking it.

I surprisingly had a similar thought process when I was 19 and lost mine. But honestly, the first time, you both are too nervous or some other emotion to care about each other's specific appearances. You'll inevitably get compared after the fact. But doing it is something you learn through experience. You're a virgin so you won't be blamed about anything.


Honestly most guys are just overjoyed that a girl let them touch her.
Reply 6
Avatar for M14B
M14B
18
Original post by Anonymous
so i feel really dumb writing this but it's constantly playing in my mind. I've never had sex before (i'm 19) and have never really been ready for a relationship until now. however i'm literally terrified of getting into a relationship with someone who has had sex before. Ideally I'd like my first time to be with another virgin but due to my age i feel this gonna be almost impossible and chances are the person i end up with won't be one. I just feel like they would compare me to the previous person they slept with (meaning the sex itself and also comparing my body) and obviously i would need them to go slow for my first time and i'd worry they wouldn't or like they couldn't be bothered to take their time. I know it's dumb but it's constantly playing in my mind and I wish I could stop worrying about this :frown:


M or F?
Reply 7
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by M14B
M or F?


female
Reply 8
Avatar for M14B
M14B
18
Original post by Anonymous
female


Pretend you had partners before. He would not know.
Original post by BristolFresher15
You're overthinking it.

I surprisingly had a similar thought process when I was 19 and lost mine. But honestly, the first time, you both are too nervous or some other emotion to care about each other's specific appearances. You'll inevitably get compared after the fact. But doing it is something you learn through experience. You're a virgin so you won't be blamed about anything.


Honestly most guys are just overjoyed that a girl let them touch her.


You're over 19?
Original post by samina_ay
You're over 19?


Yeah, why is that surprising?
Original post by M14B
Pretend you had partners before. He would not know.


i'm assuming it would hurt like hell if he didn't know and just went straight for it haha
Original post by BristolFresher15
Yeah, why is that surprising?


Thought you were 17/18 lol
Original post by samina_ay
Thought you were 17/18 lol


Really? How come?
Original post by BristolFresher15
Really? How come?


I have no idea tbh
Original post by Anonymous
so i feel really dumb writing this but it's constantly playing in my mind. I've never had sex before (i'm 19) and have never really been ready for a relationship until now. however i'm literally terrified of getting into a relationship with someone who has had sex before. Ideally I'd like my first time to be with another virgin but due to my age i feel this gonna be almost impossible and chances are the person i end up with won't be one. I just feel like they would compare me to the previous person they slept with (meaning the sex itself and also comparing my body) and obviously i would need them to go slow for my first time and i'd worry they wouldn't or like they couldn't be bothered to take their time. I know it's dumb but it's constantly playing in my mind and I wish I could stop worrying about this :frown:

I don't think the person you lose your virginity to will compare you to anyone else they've slept with, they'll be too caught up in the moment and you to care! Look, when you find someone to lose your virginity to that you care for and who cares for you, it's highly likely that all these feelings will disappear - your insecurities about them comparing your body won't matter because you'll know they're attracted to you, or they wouldn't be having sex with you. Even if they do compare you, you'll never even know unless they tell you, which I suspect they won't, so just enjoy it fi you can!

If the person you find can't be bothered to take their time, don't sleep with them, simple as. Your first time is clearly important to you and someone who doesn't care about your feeling or needs isn't the right person and you won't feel comfortable with them!

Honestly, stop worrying!! The whole experience is bound to be throughly underwhelming anyway, it almost always is, sorry to say! At least if you lose your virginity to someone who isn't a virgin, they'll know what they're doing! Losing your virginity to a virgin is usually not very fun and can be a bit embarrassing for you both if it doesn't go well.

It's seriously not a big deal, try to rationalize your thoughts :smile:
Aww there's nothing to worry about. It's part of life and the right person will appreciate your concerns about this :yes:
Original post by samina_ay
I have no idea tbh


I suppose TSR brings out the immature side of mine!
Original post by BristolFresher15
I suppose TSR brings out the immature side of mine!


Loool or you interact with alot of the 17/18 year olds and i got confused. Oh well
Original post by samina_ay
Loool or you interact with alot of the 17/18 year olds and i got confused. Oh well


Well there are a lot of them on here. Statistically, I can't help myself much :tongue:

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