Boyfriend is still in the closet and hasn't introduced me to his friends.

Hi all.

I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now we are both Gay guys i am out to my family and friends and to anybody who asks...he is out to his friends but not his family.

He has met my family and my friends but i have met nothing of his.
I have asked him when he is going to come out he said ''Soon''

I am extremely affluent and he has been to my house and seen the way i live etc i just don't want to fall into a trap of him using me for money?.

Can anybody please help i feel like i am on the outskirts.

Reply 1

alkyone

12

It's not equally easy for everyone to come out to their parents; he knows them best and their views may not be as open. But if he has told his friends, has he given you a reason as to why he hasn't introduced you yet?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Nope no reason what so ever and i don't know how to approach not meeting his friends.

Reply 3

picklescamp

16

I don't think there's any logical strand that would link his reluctance for you to meet his nearest and dearest to him using you for your money, firstly.

I know how you feel about being on the outskirts. I do think it's important to feel integrated into someone's life, knowing their friends and family. I'm far more keen for this to happen in my relationship then my boyfriend is, but usually this arises out of insecurity, or in your boyfriends case, maybe fear. I wouldn't push the issue about him coming out too harshly, but slowly start mentioning how you want to meet his friends, let him know it's important to you and that you feel that you're on the outskirts. If he cares, he'll bite the bullet after a while and do it.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

I'll mention it to him and let you know his response :smile:

Reply 5

alkyone

12

Original post by Anonymous

Nope no reason what so ever and i don't know how to approach not meeting his friends.

If he ever talks about them you can just casually say, they sound nice/fun, can't wait to meet them. Or maybe next time you and him go out with your friends, you can say something like "it would be nice if your friends came too". or you could just be honest and say that this has been on your mind and ask him what the issue is.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

I have just asked them and he said ''No not possible''

What the heck do i do?

Reply 7

BWV1007

14

Original post by Anonymous

I have just asked them and he said ''No not possible''

What the heck do i do?

Ask him why...?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 8

picklescamp

16

Original post by Anonymous

I have just asked them and he said ''No not possible''

What the heck do i do?

that all he said? Press the issue and ask why

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

''I don't want to talk about it let's change the subject''

I'm getting nowhere..

Reply 10

Ciel.

21

Original post by Anonymous

Hi all.

I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now we are both Gay guys i am out to my family and friends and to anybody who asks...he is out to his friends but not his family.

He has met my family and my friends but i have met nothing of his.
I have asked him when he is going to come out he said ''Soon''

I am extremely affluent and he has been to my house and seen the way i live etc i just don't want to fall into a trap of him using me for money?.

Can anybody please help i feel like i am on the outskirts.

What's that got to do with him introducing you to his friends? If you don't want to support him financially, then don't.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

I'm getting nowhere with him just was told.

''I don't want to talk about it let's change the subject''

When i pressed him about why he doesn't want me to meet his friends.

Reply 12

alkyone

12

Original post by Anonymous

I'm getting nowhere with him just was told.

''I don't want to talk about it let's change the subject''

When i pressed him about why he doesn't want me to meet his friends.

Ok well at this stage you just have to respect his wishes I suppose. How much do you know about these friends? The fact that they know does not necessarily mean that they have been supportive.

If your main concern for wanting to meet his friends is that he may just be taking advantage of you financially, my advice would be not to spend too much money on presents/ days out, always split bills etc.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks.

His friends no nothing of my existance neither does his family.

Just kinda getting fed up now.

Reply 14

picklescamp

16

Original post by Anonymous

I'm getting nowhere with him just was told.

''I don't want to talk about it let's change the subject''

When i pressed him about why he doesn't want me to meet his friends.

Tbh if it was me I'd feel hurt that he wont share something with me. Maybe he didn't come out to them after all?

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

I haven't a clue as i don't know any of them so i can't ask.

Reply 16

ckfeister

19

Original post by Anonymous

Hi all.

I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now we are both Gay guys i am out to my family and friends and to anybody who asks...he is out to his friends but not his family.

He has met my family and my friends but i have met nothing of his.
I have asked him when he is going to come out he said ''Soon''

I am extremely affluent and he has been to my house and seen the way i live etc i just don't want to fall into a trap of him using me for money?.

Can anybody please help i feel like i am on the outskirts.