Based on the mark scheme, you wouldn't get many marks for that answer as you haven't used the case study at all to make your points
. There is no mention of hackers or pollution from congestion in the case study, it only mentions the fact that there is competition from online shopping (which results in cheaper prices) and the fact that Jayne's mum will become unemployed due to high street business losing money from online illegal downloads.
It is incredibly important to refer back to the
CASE STUDY!!! It contains all the points you need to make a top answer and that is what the examiner is looking for. The case study is all you need for the answer, along with a bit of knowledge
. If you can, try and refer your points to the specific Unit the question is from. For example, as this is Unit 1, I can refer to the personal lifecycle in my answers as it is relevant to the Unit as well as adding extra depth in knowledge and shows the examiner you know what you are talking about.
Please don't get discouraged about your answer, thinking that you cant get top marks as it would be fine if you knew that you had to refer to the case study. Just take this advice and keep practicing, you have all day tomorrow
.
In regards to your teachers conclusion structure, I would advise to stick to what your teacher said to do if thats what he/she advises, especially if you are not 100% confident with the structure that my teacher told me to use. Your teacher knows better, i'm only a student lol.
Model conclusion for online shopping:
In conclusion, I agree with online shopping as it leads to greater competition. This is the most important reason, as it leads to lower prices for the consumer such as Jayne so she can save more money which is important as she is entering the young adult phase of the personal lifecycle, so any extra money she saves can be useful as she will most likely be in debt.
Model point for online shopping:
However, online shopping is bad as Jayne wont be able to compare consoles and try them out firsthand, which she can do in the shops. Also, she wont be able to get advise from staff in the shops to help her make a better choice on which console she buys. These options can help Jayne decide what console she wants and will help her save money if she spends it wisely, so she can have money left over to spend on games for her console.