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I want my ex-boyfriend back!

Hey,
Okay so basically I went out with this boy about 2 years ago. We had flirted at school for ages and it took him a while to build up the courage to ask me out. He did it at school and everyone was watching - it was quite a big deal (in the school social world😂).
We went out for 3 weeks, and it was going quite well. None of my friends (apart from one) had a boyfriend and I started to not like being fm the odd one out. I felt I HAD to hang out with him, rather than wanting to. I didn't like this coat he wore (sounds stupid, I know) and I really started to think about what everyone else thought and I wanted to be able to be with my friends more. I panicked and broke up with him, and he was hurt. His friends came up to me a lot for a few weeks and explained how he had plans to take me places in the future. He was close to my best friend (completely only in a friendship way - no flirting) and she told me that he was really hurting and that I made him really happy.
I felt bad at the time but never really regretted what I had done, until about 6 months ago. I have gradually regretted breaking up with him more and more. He had improved personality wise and looks wise. I get really jealous when he flirts with other girls and I really want him back. He has actually stopped me from falling to sleep because I can't stop thinking about him and I have had countless dreams about him.
At school there has always been a connection between us, before and after we went out.

There were phases where I'd catch him staring at me, other times we would message constantly for a few days, but at school we never really flirted. I just cannot work out what he thinks of me, but everyone always says how we have a 'connection' - (SO cringey but bare with me😂).
I had a party a month and a bit ago and he came. There were about 10 of us and we all went out for a meal and then came back to mine. We have a big tent in the back garden, and we all had alcohol and music and snacks. It was a great birthday for me, but one of my best friends started to sit on his knee and flirt with him. I was a bit drunk (everyone was - although I can still remember everything). And I said (don't know why) 'how about you two make out' (omg) - everyone was saying things like that because my best best friend had just got with one of my guy friends. I am 90% sure he said 'shall we' to her. He was very drunk, but this still really upset, although I tried not to show it. throughout the party he kept trying to sit next to me and tak to me and he was staring at me, even though my 'friend' was practically sitting on him and cuddling into him. He then came up to me and was like 'what's the matter' and I said 'nothing!' And he said 'no, I know you. You're trying to look like you're having a good time but somethings bothering you'. This shocked me that he really did know me so well. I just kind of stuffed it off and denied that I was upset. He then said 'I want you to be smiling though, I love it when you smile.'

Later on in the party he noticed I was cold, and as cringey as this is, he gave me his jacket. I didn't say I was cold, he just put it round me. I then said, 'hey hey why are you giving me this?' ('Not in an aggressive way) and he said 'because you're cold' and I said 'yeh but won't you be cold now' and he said 'yeh but I'd prefer to be cold then let you be cold'.

He really made me feel special that night, although I won't forget that (I'm pretty sure) he said 'shall we' about kissing my 'friend'. So I was very confused.
At school before the party and up until today he hasn't really looked me in the eye at school and seems nervous to talk to me. I don't know whether that's cause he likes me, or what. All my guy friends, who are friends with him, talk about how 'we're meant to be' and stuff. And they say they always see him staring at me.

I sent him messages in the past month and stuff and he's always replied, but I've usually been the one asking the questions. And he never starts a conversation. I sent him a snapchat saying 'hey' (a picture message) half an hour ago and he replied quickly saying 'hi' back.

I feel like he might like me, but is worried he'll get hurt again.

Also, I explained exactly how I felt a few days after the party and he said he doesn't feel they same way at the moment, our after our GCSEs we could start things up again. I know he has very strict parents and I think his parents may not want him to have a girlfriend. He has explained he doesn't want a girlfriend (he doesn't want to be with ANYONE right now, not just with me) and I think his parents may not allow him to. I'm really confused but all I know is I like him a lot. I'm a 16 year old girl and he's the same age. I actually think I might love him, but I really don't like saying that unless I'm sure - I've never felt this way about anyone before.

I don't know what to do. Should I play hard to get? Should I send him lots of messages? We have prom coming up at the end of this month and some other parties so I'll see him then. I don't know what will happen.

If you managed to read all of this (thank you so so much), could you possibly give me any advice? Do you think he likes me? Do you think I should send him lots of messages? Should I ask to meet up? Shall I flirt with him at prom? Is it all pointless? I'm so confused, and I don't like talking about this kind of stuff to anyone, that's why I've put it on here
Thanks so much for reading all of this.

Reply 1

alkyone

So you told him how you feel, and despite leaving him heartbroken, he didn't exactly turn you down. You messed up, then tried to fix it, and he said he wants to focus on his exams now, which is very mature of him. How about you respect his decision and give him some space, wait until exams are over, and wait and see if he makes a move after that? I'm not saying play hard to get, I am saying take a step back, don't message him as often, don't try to make him jealous or anything. It may be wise to focus on your exams as well now.

Reply 2

Elivercury

I mean you dumped him and suggested he snog your friend. You don't really have much room to complain.

You've stated how you feel and that you want to get back together, now all you can do is get on with your exams and see what he decides - the ball is in his court. If he says yes, try not to dump him again, if he says no then just forget and have a nice life.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by alkyone

So you told him how you feel, and despite leaving him heartbroken, he didn't exactly turn you down. You messed up, then tried to fix it, and he said he wants to focus on his exams now, which is very mature of him. How about you respect his decision and give him some space, wait until exams are over, and wait and see if he makes a move after that? I'm not saying play hard to get, I am saying take a step back, don't message him as often, don't try to make him jealouqs or anything. It may be wise to focus on your exams as well now.