why am i so stiff when it comes to sex

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im 19 years old and cant bring myself to have sex with guys, im seen as very attractive and loads of guys have asked to have sex with me. when making out with a guy and stuff they get frustrated or disspointed when i say no to sex. sometimes i really want it myself but i just cant. maybe its coz of my religion but most muslim girls i know have lost it and its normal. but its like its embedded in my brain i just cant have sex.

Not having sex at 19 isn't the end of the world...

But yeah it seems quite strange that you say you sometimes really want to have sex but you don't let your guy? As the girl, surely you just don't reject his advances if that's what you want...

However if there's another reason that you're not saying then it must be that you don't actually want sex. Which is fine but then what is the problem?

Reply 21

username2269391

Question is: Do you even want to have sex?

If the answer is no then just don't worry about it, but don't get flirty with guys because by the way you described your past it seems like your sexually attractive, hence guys will wanna F you if you give them any signals, so don't and you'll be fine...

Reply 22

IFoundWonderland

Original post by JavaScriptMaster

There is an issue in that many guys thing merely talking to them and having a laugh is flirting and signals.

Reply 23

Betelgeuse-

Original post by Anonymous

LOL pls do not give such a impression out
"Most Muslim girls have done it "lol okay idk what kind of friends you have....

Thats the Eddy Ramadamian spirit :colonhash:

Reply 24

Zarek

Wait till you find Mr Right, or sexual frustration takes over.

Reply 25

Anonymous #1

Original post by JavaScriptMaster

i make it clear before hand no sex and we make out and stuff but some guys still get fustrated by it when ive already told them before hand. i do want to have sex but cant bring myself to

Reply 26

fatima1998

nah.... its not normal... you not meant to lose your wealth :noway:

muslim and asexual and don't care about guys whatever they think :huff:

not available for their desires

Reply 27

asif007

Original post by Anonymous

I see what the problem is here. Your body has a natural desire for sex just like everyone else. But being a Muslim has conditioned you into believing that sex is wrong, and therefore you are denying your body what it needs. You're suffering a conflict between your religion/family etc and your base instincts. That's what's making you uncomfortable - you want sex but you're afraid of there being consequences. I'm surprised you haven't worked out for yourself why so many Muslim girls do lose their virginity before marriage and still continue to play "innocent, perfect Muslim" by following the Qur'an. It's because they keep their sexual activities discreet and only have sex with white guys who won't go gossiping to other Muslims. And as those girls know there will be no consequences for them, that they can just get away with doing whatever they want, they don't feel guilty about having sex.

I've said it many times before to Muslim girls like you - sex is a bodily function. If you deny your body what it needs because of some vague anti-freedom passages, you'll make yourself sick. Being a Muslim is obviously important to you, but being a human is something you can't compromise on. Please go ahead and have sex, but don't string any guys along cos you'll just create more problems. You're a Muslim young person in the UK in the 21st century - you have a right to take care of your own health and have sex if you really feel you need it. No amount of "repentance" is going to remove your basic desires, and it's foolish of anyone to encourage you to "get rid" of your desires. Embrace them and do what you have to.

Reply 28

Anonymous #2

Original post by Betelgeuse-

Thats the Eddy Ramadamian spirit :colonhash:

coming at me for what?
it's against the ramadan spirit to be planning to have extra-martial sex m8 like OP is.

Reply 29

Anonymous #2

Original post by Zargabaath

Most of us don't still live in the 7th century. If you want to be a repressed prude, go do it quietly and away from normal people.

lol at you thinking I'm a repressed prude.

you think OP is normal? she doesn't even realise you don't force yourself to have sex, she doesn't *need* to... just wait til it happens and she feels the natural desire to that's what normally happen idk what kind of societal pressure she's feeling since in Islam it technically isn't allowed anyway.

Reply 30

Daniel9998

Original post by zargabaath

most of us don't still live in the 7th century. If you want to be a repressed prude, go do it quietly and away from normal people.

lol prsom

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 31

username2269391

Original post by Anonymous

i make it clear before hand no sex and we make out and stuff but some guys still get fustrated by it when ive already told them before hand. i do want to have sex but cant bring myself to

yea so don't make out with them because that always escalates for a guy... To be fair you've gotta be the only girl who says "no sex" and means it lol because half of my hook up say that at first and then we start kissing and before you know it she's on my like a tiger. Those other guys must think your one of those girls who say no at first and change their mind after a bit?

Reply 32

Anonymous #1

Original post by JavaScriptMaster

yeah thats true but i dont think i should stop kissing guys (btw i dont make out with random guys) coz they should be able to control themselves. ' we start kissing and before you know it she's on my like a tiger' from your statement i dont want guys to think am boring bc am not like that, im quite shy haha. am good at conrolling myelf even when im stoned altouh dont really do it now i can firmly say no to guys

Reply 33

Anonymous #1

Original post by JavaScriptMaster

i used to be like that when it came to doing oral with a guy but now i can go down on a guy, before idk why i couldnt do it, exactly how i am wih sex but now its oryt giving a guy a bj.

Reply 34

username2269391

Original post by Anonymous

i used to be like that when it came to doing oral with a guy but now i can go down on a guy, before idk why i couldnt do it, exactly how i am wih sex but now its oryt giving a guy a bj.

Reply 35

Anonymous #1

Original post by JavaScriptMaster

yh lets hope i learn to be able to have sex comfortably

Reply 36

Anonymous #3

Your missing the biggest point ever, look into why your religion does not permit it

Reply 37

Tootles

Original post by Zargabaath

Most of us don't still live in the 7th century. If you want to be a repressed prude, go do it quietly and away from normal people.

PRSOM.

Reply 38

lolcatz777

If you feel uncomfortable having sex with someone and they are frustrated by it, then they're the problem. Your virginity isn't to be wasted on someone like that. You just need to wait for the right person with a clean heart who cares for more than his self gratification.