Ex gf referred to me as 'buddy'
My ex and I had a crazy intese relationship which ended about 18 months ago. We have stayed in sporadic contact, her always intiating and have slept together once since breaking up.
Recently we started messaging more, prior to me moving to the same city as her in the coming months. She even invited me to visit her, called me 'great' and said that she hadn't felt as strongly for anyone since we broke up.
However, I know that she has been with the same guy for about a year, and that tey recently ended, him ending things rather badly. She told me of how their relationship had been dysfunctional, essentially doomed, but that it was the first time anyone important had ended a relationship with her, so she is pretty damn cut up about it, more so than she was with me, for various reasons, even though our relationship was deeper and seems to have meant more.
Anyway, during the conversation she continually referred to me as 'buddy' and 'friend', even initiating the conversation using these terms. Looking back, she referred to me as 'buddy' during the initial stages of our relationship, whilst still unsure as to how she felt about me (even once during sex!)
I decided that this wasn't going to fly, explaining that whilst I'm not thinking of getting back together with her, and am not interested in starting anything at present, I wouldn't want to know that a romantic reunion could never happen at some stage in the future.
She responded by saying 'TBH I think I feel the same way - I never fell OUT of love with you and I still have a lot of love for you' etc. But that she didn't want to be in a position of saying we would definitely be back together at some stage i.e. that meeting up etc. meant such. She also said 'it is possible to be friends but be more than friends ya' know'.
I know that she is completely hung up on this other guy at present, so she would be unlikely to be thinking of me (or perhaps anyone) in a romantic sense, so am not too perturbed. Her response also seemed positive from the point of view of a potential reunion at some stage. I just want to check I didn't overreact etc? What do you all think?
Recently we started messaging more, prior to me moving to the same city as her in the coming months. She even invited me to visit her, called me 'great' and said that she hadn't felt as strongly for anyone since we broke up.
However, I know that she has been with the same guy for about a year, and that tey recently ended, him ending things rather badly. She told me of how their relationship had been dysfunctional, essentially doomed, but that it was the first time anyone important had ended a relationship with her, so she is pretty damn cut up about it, more so than she was with me, for various reasons, even though our relationship was deeper and seems to have meant more.
Anyway, during the conversation she continually referred to me as 'buddy' and 'friend', even initiating the conversation using these terms. Looking back, she referred to me as 'buddy' during the initial stages of our relationship, whilst still unsure as to how she felt about me (even once during sex!)
I decided that this wasn't going to fly, explaining that whilst I'm not thinking of getting back together with her, and am not interested in starting anything at present, I wouldn't want to know that a romantic reunion could never happen at some stage in the future.
She responded by saying 'TBH I think I feel the same way - I never fell OUT of love with you and I still have a lot of love for you' etc. But that she didn't want to be in a position of saying we would definitely be back together at some stage i.e. that meeting up etc. meant such. She also said 'it is possible to be friends but be more than friends ya' know'.
I know that she is completely hung up on this other guy at present, so she would be unlikely to be thinking of me (or perhaps anyone) in a romantic sense, so am not too perturbed. Her response also seemed positive from the point of view of a potential reunion at some stage. I just want to check I didn't overreact etc? What do you all think?
When she says it is the first time anyone important ended a relationship with her, are we to interpret this as she dumped you?
Incidentally, given you state you've only had sporadic contact with her initiating it sounds like you don't especially want to (or can't for emotional reasons) be friends with her, and the only option for you two in your eyes is romantic.
At any rate, I think you're definitely being kept around for emotional support and a bit of a rebound fling. If you're cool with this, enjoy. If you're not and wanting a serious relationship to appear (which it sound like you are), I don't think that's ever going to happen, sorry. It may be best just to keep things fairly distant, but friendly while you both move on.
Incidentally, given you state you've only had sporadic contact with her initiating it sounds like you don't especially want to (or can't for emotional reasons) be friends with her, and the only option for you two in your eyes is romantic.
At any rate, I think you're definitely being kept around for emotional support and a bit of a rebound fling. If you're cool with this, enjoy. If you're not and wanting a serious relationship to appear (which it sound like you are), I don't think that's ever going to happen, sorry. It may be best just to keep things fairly distant, but friendly while you both move on.
An ex is an ex for a reason?
Besides that, sounds like she wants to keep you around for emotional support. Soon as she gets over this relationship breaking down she'll jump to the next lad, not you (or at least, not for long).
Besides that, sounds like she wants to keep you around for emotional support. Soon as she gets over this relationship breaking down she'll jump to the next lad, not you (or at least, not for long).
Original post by Anonymous
My ex and I had a crazy intese relationship which ended about 18 months ago. We have stayed in sporadic contact, her always intiating and have slept together once since breaking up.
Recently we started messaging more, prior to me moving to the same city as her in the coming months. She even invited me to visit her, called me 'great' and said that she hadn't felt as strongly for anyone since we broke up.
However, I know that she has been with the same guy for about a year, and that tey recently ended, him ending things rather badly. She told me of how their relationship had been dysfunctional, essentially doomed, but that it was the first time anyone important had ended a relationship with her, so she is pretty damn cut up about it, more so than she was with me, for various reasons, even though our relationship was deeper and seems to have meant more.
Anyway, during the conversation she continually referred to me as 'buddy' and 'friend', even initiating the conversation using these terms. Looking back, she referred to me as 'buddy' during the initial stages of our relationship, whilst still unsure as to how she felt about me (even once during sex!)
I decided that this wasn't going to fly, explaining that whilst I'm not thinking of getting back together with her, and am not interested in starting anything at present, I wouldn't want to know that a romantic reunion could never happen at some stage in the future.
She responded by saying 'TBH I think I feel the same way - I never fell OUT of love with you and I still have a lot of love for you' etc. But that she didn't want to be in a position of saying we would definitely be back together at some stage i.e. that meeting up etc. meant such. She also said 'it is possible to be friends but be more than friends ya' know'.
I know that she is completely hung up on this other guy at present, so she would be unlikely to be thinking of me (or perhaps anyone) in a romantic sense, so am not too perturbed. Her response also seemed positive from the point of view of a potential reunion at some stage. I just want to check I didn't overreact etc? What do you all think?
Recently we started messaging more, prior to me moving to the same city as her in the coming months. She even invited me to visit her, called me 'great' and said that she hadn't felt as strongly for anyone since we broke up.
However, I know that she has been with the same guy for about a year, and that tey recently ended, him ending things rather badly. She told me of how their relationship had been dysfunctional, essentially doomed, but that it was the first time anyone important had ended a relationship with her, so she is pretty damn cut up about it, more so than she was with me, for various reasons, even though our relationship was deeper and seems to have meant more.
Anyway, during the conversation she continually referred to me as 'buddy' and 'friend', even initiating the conversation using these terms. Looking back, she referred to me as 'buddy' during the initial stages of our relationship, whilst still unsure as to how she felt about me (even once during sex!)
I decided that this wasn't going to fly, explaining that whilst I'm not thinking of getting back together with her, and am not interested in starting anything at present, I wouldn't want to know that a romantic reunion could never happen at some stage in the future.
She responded by saying 'TBH I think I feel the same way - I never fell OUT of love with you and I still have a lot of love for you' etc. But that she didn't want to be in a position of saying we would definitely be back together at some stage i.e. that meeting up etc. meant such. She also said 'it is possible to be friends but be more than friends ya' know'.
I know that she is completely hung up on this other guy at present, so she would be unlikely to be thinking of me (or perhaps anyone) in a romantic sense, so am not too perturbed. Her response also seemed positive from the point of view of a potential reunion at some stage. I just want to check I didn't overreact etc? What do you all think?
sounds like to me is your ex wants to ride your dink some more, so just FWB her innit
It sounds like she's just keeping you around for two reasons:
1. Emotional support to mess with your feelings and make sure you feel like you're trapped being is a sort of relationship with her
2. Sex
As a girl I can tell you quite a few girls have done the same thing, so don't take it,
1. Emotional support to mess with your feelings and make sure you feel like you're trapped being is a sort of relationship with her
2. Sex
As a girl I can tell you quite a few girls have done the same thing, so don't take it,
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