Hey, I am having pretty big issues with friends at the moment. They organise events around me and they treat me in a way that makes me feel different, almost lesser. While they seem OK enough when they are talking with me, it's what I notice behind the scenes with them organising things behind my back which has been getting to me, and they have not been 100% direct with me before. They were coordinating something today without me through the chat, and I decided to ask through the chat what It was and whether it was something I had missed. One of them, who is strongly inclined towards pissing people off, said to me that it was because they didn't like me. Although I probably shouldn't listen to him because he is a bit wired and psychotic, I think he isn't lying because I don't think they do.
I am used to being able to look introspectively and blame myself and change myself to do with this. I am by no means a perfect or even decent person (I am quite aggressive and I am perceived as arrogant and frank, although that is not an unusual bunch of traits to have amongst our group), and I have explained to them why I am like this and they do not seem to care too much. Also, I am struggling to see why I should change for this since they provoke it a lot and act towards me in a collective way. For instance, I and the other bloke got kicked from the group chat for debating something, and they basically treated me as inferior, giving us an ultimatum to leave or stay without privileges. I couldn't stand being inequal so I left, and although I was added back a few hours later with privileges, I still feel as if the whole reason they acted towards us in such a way is because they considered us inferior. Now, it makes sense to do that to the other guy since he posts all kinds of insane **** (Hentai etc), but all I do is disagree and debate people.
It is kinda difficult to be objective being not only in this, but deep in exam season and with a collapsing family life. Honestly, I just want somebody to talk to for a bit about this since I am finding it really difficult to see it from their perspective as I don't think I am doing anything particularly wrong. I mean, I am probably doing something wrong but I am certainly not seeing it myself.
Please help, I don't want to lose them.