Depressed about my A levels

In secondary school I hanged out with people who didn't really care about exams and I had no one else to be with so I was influenced into smoking and not caring about GCSES. This lead me to achieving the bare minimum of 5 C's compared to the people who I hanged out who did not even care they failed. Afterwards I transferred to a sixth form, I shortly dropped out of school as I found out my little brother had been diagnosed with cancer (Hodgkins Lymphoma) and wanted to be with him, he got better throughout the year. The year following I decided to enroll into sixth form again and started my As- Levels this time due to my poor time management and lack of hard work I ended up with DEEU. My family were in a hard financial time so I didnt enroll into the second year (to go to year 13 my school only required an E in each subject) and decided I would apply to university during my gap year. I started working (for the first time) as a waiter and studying(not as much I should have been) I would kept telling myself its easy to revise for as I just need to go over the stuff and I have plenty of time until I started A2, I started worrying and panicking about there being so much to learn so I quit my job and decided to focus more on my studies, but this was really hard as I literally would lose concentration every couple of minutes. One week before the exams I had gotten into a huge argument with my dad about me being a failure etc and I left my house, I was practically homeless so I decided to sleep in the park with only a jacket, the next day I went to the restaurant I worked at and started again, I'm currently sharing the rent of a 3 bedroom flat with 2 strangers and in order to pay for the rent I work and studying for my exams. I know I'm going to end up with D's and E's and just cry about how miserable my life is and how much of an idiot I have been throughout my life. My only hope was getting into a good university like nottingham or manchester etc to study chemical engineering and than when I think about applying with my horrible a level grades ( most likely D's and E's if not worse) to univeristy. I'm at the point of taking my life.

In secondary school I hanged out with people who didn't really care about exams and I had no one else to be with so I was influenced into smoking and not caring about GCSES. This lead me to achieving the bare minimum of 5 C's compared to the people who I hanged out who did not even care they failed. Afterwards I transferred to a sixth form, I shortly dropped out of school as I found out my little brother had been diagnosed with cancer (Hodgkins Lymphoma) and wanted to be with him, he got better throughout the year. The year following I decided to enroll into sixth form again and started my As- Levels this time due to my poor time management and lack of hard work I ended up with DEEU. My family were in a hard financial time so I didnt enroll into the second year (to go to year 13 my school only required an E in each subject) and decided I would apply to university during my gap year. I started working (for the first time) as a waiter and studying(not as much I should have been) I would kept telling myself its easy to revise for as I just need to go over the stuff and I have plenty of time until I started A2, I started worrying and panicking about there being so much to learn so I quit my job and decided to focus more on my studies, but this was really hard as I literally would lose concentration every couple of minutes. One week before the exams I had gotten into a huge argument with my dad about me being a failure etc and I left my house, I was practically homeless so I decided to sleep in the park with only a jacket, the next day I went to the restaurant I worked at and started again, I'm currently sharing the rent of a 3 bedroom flat with 2 strangers and in order to pay for the rent I work and studying for my exams. I know I'm going to end up with D's and E's and just cry about how miserable my life is and how much of an idiot I have been throughout my life. My only hope was getting into a good university like nottingham or manchester etc to study chemical engineering and than when I think about applying with my horrible a level grades ( most likely D's and E's if not worse) to univeristy. I'm at the point of taking my life.

It's okay just try your best and I'm sure you can get into another university to do chemical engineering. They don't always just look at your grades sometimes they look at work experience i'm sure if you told them about your situation it might count as extenuating circumstances and then they might just let you in. Don't give up hope that help

You can change the grades you end up with anyday just with a few steps like flash revision where you storm through topics and sleep on them, then flash through them again.
You can still get into university with D's at A-levels and C's.
Don't give up, because once you give up you won't be able to get back on track anymore ( I know someone who also gave up and is now constantly depressed and can't talk with people properly without getting into an argument).

ALSO try attending the local youth club and get to know some people that you can surround yourself, you could even start a study group with them or even people from other schools.

Take care.

In secondary school I hanged out with people who didn't really care about exams and I had no one else to be with so I was influenced into smoking and not caring about GCSES. This lead me to achieving the bare minimum of 5 C's compared to the people who I hanged out who did not even care they failed. Afterwards I transferred to a sixth form, I shortly dropped out of school as I found out my little brother had been diagnosed with cancer (Hodgkins Lymphoma) and wanted to be with him, he got better throughout the year. The year following I decided to enroll into sixth form again and started my As- Levels this time due to my poor time management and lack of hard work I ended up with DEEU. My family were in a hard financial time so I didnt enroll into the second year (to go to year 13 my school only required an E in each subject) and decided I would apply to university during my gap year. I started working (for the first time) as a waiter and studying(not as much I should have been) I would kept telling myself its easy to revise for as I just need to go over the stuff and I have plenty of time until I started A2, I started worrying and panicking about there being so much to learn so I quit my job and decided to focus more on my studies, but this was really hard as I literally would lose concentration every couple of minutes. One week before the exams I had gotten into a huge argument with my dad about me being a failure etc and I left my house, I was practically homeless so I decided to sleep in the park with only a jacket, the next day I went to the restaurant I worked at and started again, I'm currently sharing the rent of a 3 bedroom flat with 2 strangers and in order to pay for the rent I work and studying for my exams. I know I'm going to end up with D's and E's and just cry about how miserable my life is and how much of an idiot I have been throughout my life. My only hope was getting into a good university like nottingham or manchester etc to study chemical engineering and than when I think about applying with my horrible a level grades ( most likely D's and E's if not worse) to univeristy. I'm at the point of taking my life.

I wish it were that easy, but i have last 5 A2 exams and they are monstrously hard. I hardly did well in AS exams. But thanks for the hope

In secondary school I hanged out with people who didn't really care about exams and I had no one else to be with so I was influenced into smoking and not caring about GCSES. This lead me to achieving the bare minimum of 5 C's compared to the people who I hanged out who did not even care they failed. Afterwards I transferred to a sixth form, I shortly dropped out of school as I found out my little brother had been diagnosed with cancer (Hodgkins Lymphoma) and wanted to be with him, he got better throughout the year. The year following I decided to enroll into sixth form again and started my As- Levels this time due to my poor time management and lack of hard work I ended up with DEEU. My family were in a hard financial time so I didnt enroll into the second year (to go to year 13 my school only required an E in each subject) and decided I would apply to university during my gap year. I started working (for the first time) as a waiter and studying(not as much I should have been) I would kept telling myself its easy to revise for as I just need to go over the stuff and I have plenty of time until I started A2, I started worrying and panicking about there being so much to learn so I quit my job and decided to focus more on my studies, but this was really hard as I literally would lose concentration every couple of minutes. One week before the exams I had gotten into a huge argument with my dad about me being a failure etc and I left my house, I was practically homeless so I decided to sleep in the park with only a jacket, the next day I went to the restaurant I worked at and started again, I'm currently sharing the rent of a 3 bedroom flat with 2 strangers and in order to pay for the rent I work and studying for my exams. I know I'm going to end up with D's and E's and just cry about how miserable my life is and how much of an idiot I have been throughout my life. My only hope was getting into a good university like nottingham or manchester etc to study chemical engineering and than when I think about applying with my horrible a level grades ( most likely D's and E's if not worse) to univeristy. I'm at the point of taking my life.

As for the University part, 'Foundation Years' Have a google.

Don't think of them as hard and they won't be.
The brain has this mechanism that when you tell yourself you're ill, you'll start to feel ill.
Take advantage of this to gain hope, try to be an optimist about everything and tell yourself you'll ace it and you will.
Nothing is hard, everything is easy but it's just another way at looking at information you have yet to know.
You can apply it.
Also, stop yourself getting distracted with a stressful topic, substitute something less stressful. Examples include carefully planning the layout and interior design of your future house, considering how you might fix a particularly dodgy plot hole in the storyline of your favourite TV series, or debating with yourself which flavour of Hula Hoop is best. Then, when your stress has departed your brain, you can focus. This can work for any intrusive, stressful thoughts – of which most students find they have a surfeit during exam season.

As well, try to enjoy revision. Force yourself to smile and you'll feel a lot better. Try to keep hopeful and you'll achieve wonders.
It's not the end of the world, there's still other opportunities after a-levels.

Things will always get better so believe in yourself. If concentration is an issue when trying to study, look up ways to try to improve your concentration. It may help to try and resolve your issues with your dad, that way you wouldn't need to have a job and could focus on your studies. Please try and remember that there isn't anything you can do about your past, look towards the future and learn from your mistakes. I genuinely wish you the best of luck, I've even decided to subscribe to you because I want to see you succeed, I'm rooting for you and so is everyone else on this forum!

Thats one of the nicest things someone has said to me, thank you honestly. One year from now I will do an update. Thank you once again as it has cheered me up a lot reading the replies

I'm in a similar problem....I need ABB or BBC....to get into uni and I feel so bad for not studying...but saying that I'm still hopeful...don't give up!!!

Honeslty you have no idea how grateful i am for someones advice, thank you I will try those methods.